21 November 2004

I fell off the wagon and it ran me over!!!

Yesterday was the worse off program day I've had in a long, long while and by writing here first thing in the morning I hope to avoid it becoming an off program couple of days or week or month or whatever......

I woke up yesterday with the best intentions. I planned on riding my bike to WW but after getting up and moving my heart just wasn't in it. I was really dreading the 30 mile ride. So I decided to drive to weigh-in and take a 6 mile walk after. By the time I got to WW I was exhausted (and I'd done nothing!!!). Took my walk really slow; but that's also because I'm on the final book of the Dark Tower and I'm dying to see how it ends. After my walk I met Charlie at the Yacht Club for lunch. I WAS STARVING!!!! We shared a hamburger and a spinach salad and a giant cookie.... It was great but I was still hungry. On the way home I stopped at the store and got Fudge Mint covered Oreos and 4 Neestle crunch bars. I ate 2 bars on the way home and 6 cookies with milk once I got home. I then took a nap and when I woke I felt like I had been drugged. I felt better in the afternoon and we had dinner about 7 pm. Later, about 9 pm, I started in on the cookies and milk again. I went to bed around 10 and that was it for the night.

This morning I feel much better. I want this mess to stop now and I need to do whatever is necessary to make that happen. I will get rid of those cookies and remaining candy bars to avoid temptation today. I will eat reasonably today; Charlie will be working so there's no reason not to eat well. I will go shopping for the week and cook as necessary so I have good stuff to eat. Althouh I won't be exercising today since my knee is acting up; I will exercise everyday next week. My knee has been bothering me for almost a week now. It feels like there is bone on bone action going on inside. Looking up the symptoms it seems to be an inflammation of the patella tendon in front or the lining on the back of the knee cap. In either case treatment is an anti-inflammatory and rest. So today it's motrin all day and no exercise. Tomorrow exercise begins again. It doesn't really hurt when I exercise, I can just feel something is not right.

Okay, I feel better, stronger, and more able to pull myself back up and get back on track. Today will be a good day. I will work on cleaning up my room and getting ready for my craft business to begin.......

The key to change is awareness

So I posted yesterday that I really had nothing to write about because things were going well and I just didn't have much to say. Scra...