01 April 2005


I've fallen and I can't get up.

I seem to have started a downward slide and I can't seem to put the brakes on. Yesterday I had a ton of very fatty butter cookies (lucky they are really small) and some fudge when I went to the mall. Then had a bunch of chips when I got home, I mean I was just mindlessly stuffing them in my mouth; I didn't even really want them. Then for dinner I had chicken stew like stuff with garlic bread and artichoke dipped in mayo. Oh yes, I didn't exercise last night; granted I was only supposed to do functional exercises but I didn't do them.

This morning when I got up it was my morning off from exercise (and since my knee has been bothering me I decided it was a good idea to take off completely). I slept in; that was great; and sat at my computer till it was time to get ready for work. Well, while sitting there muffins crossed my mind and since I had to stop and get gas this morning I ended up getting little powdered donuts (Yum!!!).

Oh, did I fail to mention my intestional distress this morning?? I didn't think I was going to make it to work!!!!

I have got to stop this and stop it now. I can't wait till tomorrow or Monday; it has to stop now. I just ate my oatmeal and banana for breakfast and that will do it till yogurt time. I have chicken stew and salad for lunch and I will refrain from cookies. My stomach really feels yucky (that's a technical term :) and I still feel like I have to go... Enough already.

Charlie is off tomorrow and I know we will be going out to breakfast. That has to be it. I have a race on Sunday and I need to be properly fed and hydrated. That's what I need to focus on; my race. I need to eat good and drink lots of water so I'm ready for the race on Sunday. Okay, I feel better. I need to focus on something positive not what I shouldn't be doing.

Jeez, it's raining like hell outside. It looks likes it's going to be a miserable weekend. Wonderful!!!!!

31 March 2005

I think I am successfully navigating that scary day

know as Thursday. For a couple of weeks in a row now I have managed to drag my butt out of bed and exercise on Thursday mornings. A major achievement that must be acknowledged - Yeah me!!!!

My right knee is bothering me. It didn't bother me when I got up but once I started running I could feel it. That's the first time I've felt it while running. I'm thinking it may be my new shoes. Because I have no cartlidge in that knee I do have to be careful about the shoes I wear for running. This pain started since I got my new shoes on Friday. The arch doesn't hit quite right and I think this may be causing the problem. So I'm going to try and get some insoles to see if that will help.

My ToDo list for today:

  • Walk the dogs
  • Functional Exercise
  • Feed the dogs
  • Eat dinner
  • Work on website for 1 hour or work on rug

Okay, once I posted last night and said I couldn't access my web site I went and worked on my rug for an hour, so that was successful. On my way to bed I tried my website again and it worked fine.....

Time once again to do that little thing called work.

The best laid plans....

So I'm following my ToDo list tonight and I get to the part about working on my website for an hour. I'm settled and all ready to do this but I can't log in!!!! I keep getting an error message. 20 minutes checking through the help section, I finally sent a help ticket. We'll see what happens.

So I think I will go work on my rug for awhile.

30 March 2005

I am absolutely certain that adult ADD is the main

source of all my problems. They say that admitting you have a problem is half the battle so I should be on my way to a normal life.

I didn't do anything last night, I just ended up playing computer games. But I've decided that I can't say just that I will do something. I have to say I will do XYZ. What is it WW says; a goal must be specific - so get with it. I've decided that everyday I will ToDo list for the evening. I spend way, way too much time watching TV and playing on the computer and I need to cut back on both activities.

My ToDo list for tonight is:
* Strength and Functional exercise
* Feed the dogs
* Eat dinner
* Work on website for 1/2 hour
* mini Pedicure

Okay, that's the game plan for tonight. I think that by mastering these little things I can begin to master the big things.

This morning I did 30 minutes on the treadmill at about a 11 minute mile pace. It felt pretty good and I definetly was pushing myself. I also walked for 15 minutes to get my 45 minutes in.

I am having this very strange feeling in my right knee. It's located on the front towards the left side. It feels like it may be an attachment point and it just feels like something is pressing on it. It doesn't hurt and I can't feel it when I run only when I'm walking around. It's very bizarre and I don't know if it means anything, I sure hope not.

Okay, I'm ready for the day. I have a plan and I'm going to defeat my ADD...........

29 March 2005

Finally the light bulb went on and

I have some insight into my life.

I have trouble finishing things. This may sound very simple but I don't recall ever admitting it before. I'm not sure why I have trouble finishing things. When I do finish things I feel really good. I'm pretty sure I have a fear of failure which is just ridiculous because just completing something is success.

This is probably bizarre to be 45 years old and just now realizing this. It's not that I didn't realize it, I just never really faced it. I have tons of incomplete projects around here. I have these great ideas and then fail to follow through with them.

That explains why I haven't lost all the weight I want to lose. Why I've never gotten into the shape I want to be in. And why I'm in the financial situation I'm in.

So, this is my new project. I will finish things. I will take one project I have going and finish it. No matter how long it takes I will work on it a little bit every day until I finish it. Then I will take up the next project. This is my goal; to finish things......

It's amazing how once you admit to something you immediately feel like a burden has been lifted off your shoulders. I will begin tonight and even if I only take baby steps, I will take steps each day to move towards my goal of completing things.

27 March 2005

Sometimes it seems like the world

is conspiring against you (or in this case for you).

A couple of things have happened over the last day or so that has caused me to stop and go huh!?!?

First, I get the new Runner's World mag in the mail and there's this big section on running and losing weight and how runners tend to overestimate the calories they burn. HMMMM.. Could I be doing that :)

Next, the WW meeting yesterday was all about plateaus. Are you on one? How do you get off? What is something you can do about it? This got me to thinking since I have been on a plateau for like a year!!!

Then this morning I'm cruising through the blogs psyching myself up for my 6 mile run and I come across this blog, Chris, about good versus great. How we don't acheive great because we settle for good. It's a book he's reading and while I haven't read the book that one sentence really hit home. I used to be a perfetionist but when I began my weight-loss journey I decided I needed to lose that attitude. I think I need to bring a little of that back; not be as anal as I used to be; but strive to be great.

I think the universe is trying to tell me something. Maybe it's time to strive for a little perfection and try to be just the absolute greatest I can be.

On that note, this weekend is not going as well as I hoped it would. When Alicia got here Thursday it was really nice, I even went swimming Thursday night after walking the dogs. But Friday it was windy and rainy and it's been like that ever since. We went out yesterday and played tourist so that was pretty cool, but I was really hoping to get in some actual hiking but it appears as if that's not to be. I think today I'm going to do some errands and get some things ready for the week. My eating/exercise schedule has been thrown off by Alicia's visit but I need to focus on me for a bit.

So that's my goal for this week. I am going to strive to be great, not perfect, great. Everything I do I will do to the absolute best of my ability.

Okay, I'm off to have a great run.....

Social media holiday

I've decided to take a break from social media. I spend far, far too much time just scrolling through Facebook. Yes, I get a lot of in...