16 July 2005

Weigh-in did not go so well this morning

most likely due to my dinner last night - kind of salty. Also, I didn't drink enough water yesterday but I didn't realize it until late last night and I ain't drinking lots of water before bed that's for sure.

I am almost worried enough about my ankle to have it checked out; almost but not quite. I twisted it 2 weeks ago today and while it is much better it is not completely healed. It's still somewhat swollen and when I go to bed at night it bothers me and I end up taking Advil for the pain. It's very troubling. But it doesn't bother me during the day unless I'm on it too much. Oh well, I guess I'll continue to wait and see.

Well, I've sold my first coconut :) I've really been ignoring my website and that whole business but I got one sold today, YEAH!!! I've decided to put more effort into it and really try to get it off the ground. It would be great if I could make money at it. I don't want to make a fortune just some extra money for traveling and such.

I don't really have a darn thing to say. I'm just bored so thought I'd post. Enough. Maybe more later; who knows??????

13 July 2005

Caution: Deep Water Ahead!!!

I just hope I can make it clear.

I've been rolling this post around in my head for a couple of days and I finally decided it's time to tackle it.

I began this weight loss journey in Oct, 1998. Now I've tried many, many times before but this time I knew was the last time. In 2 1/2 years I lost almost 70 lbs. I was incredibly proud and happy of that. But I lost it. I got so I couldn't lose any more weight; I was constantly tired; and generally feeling crappy. The doctor told me I wasn't eating enough/properly. I used that as an excuse to quit WW and try to go it on my own. I ended up gaining back about 20 lbs and decided I couldn't do it on my own. 1 1/2 years ago I went back to WW with the firm committment that this was it. I will attend meetings every single week for the rest of my life. This was a lifestyle choice I was making and something I would have to do forever. Since then I've lost about 18 lbs and have completely changed the shape and composition of my body.

In this whole time I have had to fight every single step of the way for every single victory. I would sit in meetings and hear all these things people were doing or not doing and wonder why I couldn't do those things. I would take their tips and hints and try them only to find out I had to work and work and work and work to institute these things. It used to make me so frustrated how some people seemed to make changes so easily yet for me it was next to impossible. I had to fight to make exercise a habit and still I fight to get myself out of bed every morning.

So, 1 1/2 weeks ago I decided that I had gone too far over to the dark side. I was allowing negative thoughts to completely rule my life. Now this is not typical of me but I am subject to depression so I have to watch it. On that Saturday when I had that ephiphany I decided that I would fake it until I had conquered the negative demons. Well, it worked. I have had the easiest 2 weeks since I began in 1998. Everything is coming easier. I am making the right choices and not even wanting to make not so good choices. I have been eating unbelieveably well and not even craving candy or cakes. I had to stop at the store yesterday morning and did not even consider buying a pastry ( that is a HUGE accomplishment for me).

It seems that I have been fighting myself the whole time and that I've finally given up the fight. I'm eating the things I should be eating and really enjoying it. I'm having fruit when I want something sweet and it's working. I find myself not eating when I'm not hungry. I know these things sound like little things but to me they are incredibly huge.

I've been injured (my freaking ankles) for the last 2 months and exercise has not been what I want it to be. I do tend to all or nothing thinking and since I couldn't exercise as I thought I should I tended to not do anything many times. Yesterday I decided I could walk. That would get the exercise I'm lacking lately and help strengthen my ankles so I can start running again. So last night when I got home I walked on the treadmill while I watched Hide and Seek (dude, freaky movie). This morning I got up and walked again. I can walk night and day until I'm ready to get back into my regular program.

Okay, this is not making a lot of sense but it's an important thing for me to get down. In the last 2 weeks I have made huge mental strides and I need to keep moving in this direction.....

12 July 2005

Inspiration....

Needed, badly!!! Actually, Renee is really a great inspiration to me. She is so motivated and has some incredible insights and it's a real pleasure to read her every morning.

Yesterday morning I got up and went for a bike ride and it felt great. Last night though I was so exhausted I just couldn't do my weight workout. This morning I was supposed to run but it was raining so hard I just couldn't drag myself out of bed. But tonight I will do something. I think I may walk on the treadmill while I watch "Hide and Seek." Honestly I'm still a little leary about running on my ankle. It still hurts 10 days after I twisted it. So while I was showering this morning I decided I'm just going to walk for a couple of days. I'll walk and get the ankle back to full function and then I can start running when I feel ready. I really think I was trying to push myself too hard too fast and that resulted in my not doing anything. Okay, that ends right here right now. I will walk on the treadmill after we walk the dogs tonight.

Food however has been wonderful. I haven't had candy in 10 days. I have had ice cream (2 x) and an ice pop last night. Otherwise, it's been whole, healthy foods. So even in spite of my lack of exercise I feel great because I've been eating really, really well.

Well, we are really slammed at work and I probably should get to it. I don't want to be here late again tonight.

10 July 2005

Faster than a herd of turtles......

Last night we went out (something we don't really do all that often) to Turtle Bay Resort and saw Chuck Mangione. It was fun, we had a great time. Chuck plays an amazing horn and I love what I call Jazz "light" where it doesn't get all heavy and blusey and depressing. So a good time was had by all. Oh yeah, there was a fireworks display after and that was really awesome; better than the 4th of July.

So I am a total turtle freak (sea turtles that is). I live on the beach and can spend hours just watching the turtles bop around in the ocean by my house. I have a beautiful sea turtle tattooed on my ankle:




I have turtles populating the dashboard of my car:

It's hard to see but there are 4 stuffed turtles, a shark and a turtle visor. Luckily I have a huge dashboard.

I have turtle stickers all over my car, which you'll just have to trust me on cause the picture didn't come out right.

So last night we were at the "Turtle" Bay Resort and I purchased the newest addition to my turtle family:

This is Baby Honu (Honu is the Hawaiian word for turtle. It's pronounced HOE-NEW). He had such a good time at Chuck's concert last night (man, he digs those horns) that after when Chuck was signing autographs he insisted I have Chuck sign his belly:


He's very proud of that and all the other turtles in the car are jealous.

So that was how I spent my Saturday night.

Now, on to the weight issues. I had WW weigh-in yesterday and I was down 1.4 lbs from last week. I was thrilled. I had a spectacular week even though I had a sprained ankle and the week really wasn't that hot. Last Saturday I decided to fake it and I have been and it's working. I feel awesome!!!!! I've also taken a page out of another bloggers book and am telling myself I'm hot; and I am. I wore my little blue Gap capri pants last night with a tiny t-shirt (with turtles of course) and today I'm wearing my size 8 shorts with my pink halter top. I do look good and I need to stop hiding it. Besides, when I think I look good I eat less and pay more attention to my body.

Okay, well I think I've carried on enough this morning. Baby Honu is happy because his picture is on the internet and all the other turtles can be jealous of him. I'm off to do something constructive.....

Social media holiday

I've decided to take a break from social media. I spend far, far too much time just scrolling through Facebook. Yes, I get a lot of in...