06 October 2005

It's getting better all the time.....

Wow, I feel my lethargy lifting and it's feeling really good. Whatever it is that has been dragging me down for the past couple of weeks is starting to pass, I can feel it. I know part of the solution was giving into it instead of fighting it. If I fight it it takes forever to pass but if I accept it and just roll with it it usually passes pretty quickly; and it is starting to pass.......

Although I've never been officially diagnosed I believe I suffer from depression. Clearly it's not bad enough to keep me down and I've never been one to take drugs for any length of time but I do think it's a demon I wrestle with. Again, part of getting out of it is realizing what's going on and just rolling with it. If I spend 2 days sleeping in and lolling on the couch by the 3rd day I'm ready to get up and fight. But if I don't give in and try to keep it at bay, it will drag me down for as long as I fight. I believe it has a set course to run and it will run that course come hell or high water.

Anyway, the bottom line is I'm feeling better and starting to get back into the routine.

As for training; last night went well. We ended up in a very rural neighborhood and the road was really dark (that was scary) lucky I had a flashlight with me so it wasn't so bad. We did 80 minutes and about 6 miles (we were walking because it was really dark), not too bad.

I have a 30K coming up next weekend and I'm still trying to figure out how to play it. My ankles are almost completely healed and really feeling great. I want to really go for it on the 30K just to see how well I do it but, on the other hand, I know I should take it slow since I haven't been 100% up to now..... I don't know. I'll probably just play it by ear and see how I feel the day of.....

05 October 2005

Just another manic monday.. ah Wednesday....

Where did the week go??? The days are speeding by too darn quick lately..... SLOW DOWN!!!

Well, I developed a plan on Sunday but haven't been able to stick to it as well as I wanted to. But you know what?? That's okay. I'm doing the best I can and right now that's all I can ask. I'm walking the dogs every morning and night and if that's all the additional exercise I get for right now I'll live. This crazy, lethargic period will pass and I'll be back working out all the time. I have made a committment to not miss any more marathon training and that's where my focus is right now. I really want to get back into strength training but it's just not happening right now. That's okay!! It will come again.....

That sleeping thing is really working except I find myself staying up a little later than I'm used too or, worse yet, falling asleep on the couch and those things seem to be throwing things off.... But I make it through the day not completely exhaused by 3:00p.m.

I guess I should get to work. Although it's slow right now there are lots of details that need to be taken care of....

04 October 2005

To sleep, perchance to dream..


I picked up this book Friday night. I'm looking for a new workout. I want to focus on running and am looking for something to compliment that. Anyway, this whole program sounds pretty good and not too strenous so it won't interfer with my running. Anywho, he has a small piece on sleep that really, really struck me. I am the type of person that absolutely positively has to have 8 hours of sleep; any less and it can get darn ugly. So he says that since your REM sleep cycle is about 90 minutes you need to time your sleep and waking patterns so that you are getting up at the end of one of you REM cycles. So for the past couple of nights I've been timing my wake-up so that I'm getting up at the end of sleep cycle and it seems to be working. I wake up more refreshed and get up a lot easier. We'll see how it goes as the week goes on but it seems to be working for now.

Now, on to training. I got up this morning and did my Core workout then went to my marathon training group tonight. We did about 7 miles in 90 minutes. Not bad, not great, but not bad. Feeling good. It's great to be doing something again. I know it's only one day but it's definetly a start. So one good day down and that's a great place to begin.....

02 October 2005

If you chose not to decide you still have made a choice.

And that's pretty much wheat I've been doing lately; making decisions by not making any decisions. For the past 2 weeks I haven't been doing much of anything. I've been reading the blogs and it seems lots of folks are having trouble with motivation, inspiration, mojo, whatever you want to call it so at least I don't feel all alone. However, I really thought the other bloggers were going through it because of being on the mainland and the fall starting. But I'm here in Hawaii we don't have seasons (well, not with huge temperature flucuations anyway) so why is this effecting me???? I don't have the answer; I really don't know what's happening but I do know I need to get off my ass and get over this.

Since the Na Wahine 2 weeks ago I've only run 4 times (I should have run 6) and walked the dogs. That's it! That's all!! What the hell am I thinking?? Yesterday I went for my marathon training. We ran for 2 hours and I thought I was going to die. By the end of the run I was in such pain I couldn't believe it. That pretty much clinched it for me. I have got to get back on the exercise wagon. So I sat down today and worked out a new program I'm going to try and then went shopping and am all ready for next week.

I've really been feeling down and am not sure why or what's going on. We have had rain here for the past 2 weekends and it is depressing when it's hot and sunny all week and then rainy and dreary on the weekends.

Side note: I'm watching an obesity program on TLC and they were just explaining how exercise increases your dopamine receptors in your brain so it literally makes you feel better even when your not exercising because you have more receptors. Yet another reason to get off my ass...

So I've got my food; I've got my plan; I've got my list of things to do everyday (I'm the worst procrastinator in the world) and I've got the desire to get back on track. I think I'm ready to go.

The key to change is awareness

So I posted yesterday that I really had nothing to write about because things were going well and I just didn't have much to say. Scra...