11 January 2006

It's the voices inside my head.....

I battle demons on a daily basis and I'm sick and tired of it. I want to exercise, train, workout, whatever the hell you want to call it, and I feel great when I do. Yet every single morning when the alarm goes off my initial reaction is, ahhh, screw it, not today. I have to battle this every single stinking morning and it gets old fast. Luckily, once I come half way awake I can debate with myself and most days manage to drag my butt out of bed, but it's not easy and I hate that I have to go through this every morning. I know others go through this too but most folks claim that after a while it becomes easier. With me it seems that it never becomes easier; in fact it gets harder. Ugh!!! I HATE THIS!!!

One of the problems, I think, is that I'm not a natural athlete. There might be an inner athlete hiding somewhere deep inside, but I think it sleeps a lot. Bold did a great piece on his Action Hero. How he can reach deep down and draw on something that's there. I don't know that I have that. Maybe I just haven't tapped into it yet. Maybe I just haven't pushed myself hard enough to require that extra little push. I use visualization a lot in my training and racing. I start at least a week before and pick a goal time, then visualize the entire race with me finishing at that time. In general, this works very well for me. In most cases I achieve my desired result and end up with the time I wanted. Maybe I'm not setting my goals high enough. I am a bit of a perfectionist and tend to not do something if I can't do it perfectly. Maybe I'm setting my goals on the low side so that I don't fail. Maybe I need to set a completely outrageous goal for myself and see what happens. If I don't make it I'm pretty sure I'll live through it, but I could succeed. Maybe I need to step out and take a risk. Maybe I need to find my own Action Hero.....

On other notes, I'm really feeling awesome. I have had no refined sugar since Sunday and am really starting to feel it. I have not had a hypoglycemic episode and the bod just feels way better, more steady, not shaky, stronger, leaner, and not as hungry.

Okay, that's it. Things to think about and mull over while I work.....

3 comments:

Bolder said...

thanks for the kind words about my post Flo.

but, my Action Hero doesn't get up until at least noon... i have the same battles, and lose them as much as you, fortunately, my evenings are free.

maybe i should try sleeping in my Under Armour?!?

Bolder said...

oh, and i believe that Action Hero is in you... and will be there for you in your time of need... i'm surprised you didn't meet her in your marathon at around mile 20... maybe you did!

Nancy Toby said...

If those Evil Voices are in your head now, does that mean that they're finally out of my head? Because I still hear them every day. Just checking....

Another week down

 Well the first week back from spring break wasn't bad at all. I was looking forward to the weekend though, so I'm very glad it'...