21 April 2006

WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT????????

This is a statement my weight watcher leader writes on the board every week. When I first started WW I was clear on what I wanted. I had a vision and a plan to get there. I was motivated and focused and things went really well. I rather quickly lost almost 70 lbs and felt great. I felt on top of the world. I felt strong and confident and like I could do anything. In fact I did do lots of things I'd never done before. I entered my first marathon; I took up karate (I'm a brown belt) ; I took up scuba diving; I could go on and on but you get the idea. I knew what I wanted and I went for it and I got it.

I realized the other day that I have no clear vision of what I want therefore I have no plan to get there. So what do I really want????

I want to lose weight!!! Too general. I want to lose 30 lbs. Better. I want to lose 30 lbs of fat. Much better.

What else??? I want to wear my size 8 clothes. Good, specific and definite.

Anything else??? I want to feel good. Define good. I want to feel strong, energetic, alive and comfortable in my body. Nice, you can get a visual of this.

Anything else????? No, I think that's a good place to start.

Okay, what do you need to do to get what you want??? I need to exercise, regularly (at least 6 days a week) and hard (at least an hour). I need to eat right and journal everything. I need to drink water, lots more than I'm drinking now. I need to count calories or points or follow Core or do something and stick to it. I need to develop a plan and stick with it for weeks, months, years. However long it takes to reach my goals.

So, why aren't you doing it? Because it's easier to eat what I want and sit around and bemoan the fact that I am not happy with myself. It's easier to whine away about how hard it is to get up in the morning and exercise. It's much easier to get up and get the bowl of ice cream than it is to sit there and resist it. It's much easier to give in to all those horrible cravings than to grit my teeth and tough it out. It's easier to give in to the sloth inside than to wake up the athlete and get her moving.

And what are you going to do about this?? I'm going to spend this weekend getting ready. I'm going shopping and doing some cooking; I'm going to work out an exercise schedule that incorporates all the things I love, aerobics, weights, biking, running, and swimming. I'm going to add yoga and pilates in at night. Exercising 2x a day really works for me. It keeps me busy and away from eating but also keeps me focused on the question: What do I really want????

What do you really want??????? Okay, I've got a vision, a plan and a focus I think I'm ready to tackle this problem.

I'm ready to face this problem head on. I'm going to spend the weekend circling the wagons and Monday morning the battle begins. I'll be damned if I'm going to let this drag me down one more year. I have 30 lbs to lose. At 1 lb a week that's 30 weeks which takes me to November 20, that's Thanksgiving week. Cool. I'm putting a ticker up and I'm going to fight like hell. I'm going to focus on weight loss and base building. I may do some racing but it will be awhile before I trust the cleanliness of the ocean. But that's okay, I'm going to focus on my weight. Once I get my weight down all other things will be easier. I'm also going to work on a set of goals and rewards. I need to make it good like when I reach my goal I get a new bike - oh, I like that. I will work on it.

20 April 2006

Nothing much to say.

I haven't blogged this week because basically, I have nothing to say. We have reached cruising altitude and that's what I'm doing. Nothing is perfect but things are okay. I really can't decide what way to go and so I'm just kind of rolling different thoughts around in my head. I have been exercising every morning, except for this morning cause it was a rest day. Tomorrow I may go swimming, we'll see how I feel

Nothing much else happening so nothing to say. Hope everyone has a good week I'll be back when I have something to say.

17 April 2006

See if you can follow this.

I live in the most f*cked up state in the union. We may be beautiful but thanks to our clueless leaders there will be no ocean swimming for the foreseeable future.

Back on March 31st we had one of the worst rainstorms ever. This after 45 days of rain so the ground was saturated, the creeks and streams were high, dams were near overflowing, it was really bad. So then it rains again. At the same time one of the large sewer mains for Waikiki broke (we have the world's oldest sewer system. There is almost constantly a break somewhere). Now the powers that be had a number of choices, get pumper trucks working round the clock to pump this stuff out, let the hotels and homes back up, or dump the raw sewage into the Ala Wai canal. Guess which option they chose? That's right, dump. They released 48 million gallons of raw sewage into the Ala Wai canal which then flows into the ocean (I don't believe that number, I believe they pumped a lot more in). Now, anyone with half a brain who has ever seen the ocean can guess what would happen to that sewage. It would flow out into the ocean and then be washed back to shore by the tides - duh!!!!! They closed the beaches for a few days but they are back open now. The state Dept. of Health continues to test and the counts of bacteria are still kind of high but they are saying it's safe. The oceans almost all the way around Oahu are high in bacteria and pretty much unswimmable.

New topic. I have been trying to lose weight forever. For the last 2 years, I've been trying to lose the last 20 lbs. Since I got really into triathlon I kind of gave up lots of other exercise and focused on swimming, running, and biking. In the last 6 months I've gained almost 10 lbs. It's time to end this freaking madness. If I could lose this weight I'd be way better at running and biking. I also know that running, swimming, and biking does not work for me as far as weight loss goes. Aerobics work. I can push myself way harder at aerobics than I can at any of the tri disciplines.

So, with all of the above info, it's time to switch things up for awhile. I can't see myself getting in the water for at least a few months so this summer's tris are pretty much out. And, since I want to lose weight I'm shifting focus. Starting today I will be doing aerobics every morning. I'm going to try doing tri stuff at night. I'm starting a new WW meeting tonight at the Y and I thought I'll see what it's like. If it's not crowded I'll go for a swim before I go home. That would work good for me.

For the next few months my main focus will be weight loss. It's time to be done with this.

This weekend was busy. Saturday I took off and we did all our errands. Then Saturday night we went out with some friends. Yesterday I stayed home all day and worked on the house. There wasn't that much left to be done but I wanted to get it finished. So I was up at 6 and worked my butt off all day. I sat down for lunch around 1 and promptly fell asleep for about 20 minutes. Last night when I finally stopped moving I fell asleep on the couch watching tv. I slept very well last night :)

Okay, that's enough I should do some work.

The key to change is awareness

So I posted yesterday that I really had nothing to write about because things were going well and I just didn't have much to say. Scra...