05 May 2006

Sometimes it seems the fates are just against me.

I decided last night that I just need to get up in the morning and move. I figure if I started just moving every morning eventually I would want to move more and become excited about exercise again. Also, I decided, I really like running. So that's what I'm going to do; run. Okay!! So my alarm goes off this morning and I am laying there getting ready to get up and go run, when it starts pouring rain. Okay. I hit the snooze and rolled over for a few more minutes. The alarm goes off and it starts raining again. This went on for 4 snoozes. I finally admitted defeat and got up and did the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes. Sometimes they really are out to get me.

But wait there's more:

I have been trying to get a little internet business going for awhile. It's tough to get a business going. I don't want to tell exactly what I do but suffice it to say it's a handcrafted item that makes a wonderful gift for any occasion. Last night a great marketing stragety hit me. You folks in blogland. In an effort to spread the word about my business I have decided to offer free samples for a limited time. What you need to do is e-mail me your address at fhulihee at gmail dot com and I will send you one. I will not keep your address or use it for any unsavory purpose. In fact, once I put the item in the mail to you I will destroy your address as I am hoping to do business over the internet and not through the mail. Once you get this item it will have my website on it and you can visit and see the amazing things I can do ;) Anyway, there you have it. Until Sunday night (my time) I will be taking addresses for a free gift. I know it sounds very mysterious I just want it to be a huge surprise.

Okay, that's it. It's Friday, I have tons to do and I'd like to get out of here early. Have a great weekend.

04 May 2006

I should be working, but.....

Something just hit me. I've been reading the blogs the last few days and thinking to myself, "Self, people just don't seem to be posting as much lately. I wonder what's going on??" Then I just read Mippers post about having nothing much to say and taking a few days off. What we have here is a failure to communicate. Plus, the comment on my post from Bunnygirl about being in a trough (btw, I LOVE that analogy cause that's just how I feel). I think this general malaise is going around the blogosphere. I'm beginning to think it's not just me. Maybe it's the time of year; season changes are good but they do represent change. I am already feeling better knowing I'm not alone in all this.

Something fun

Go to Wikipedia and put in your birthday (omit the year), the post 3 events, 2 birthdays, 1 death.

April 15th:

Events:

1865 - Abraham Lincoln dies after being shot by John Wilkes Booth and Andrew Johnson becomes the 17th President of the U.S.

1912 - The British passenger liner RMS Titanic sinks around 2:20 a.m. after hitting an iceberg.

1945 - The Bergen-Belsen concentration camp is liberated.

Births:

1452 - Leonard da Vinci, Italian artist (d. 1519)

1940 - Jeffrey Archer, British author and Member of Parliament

Death:

1990 - Greta Garbo, Swedish actress (b. 1905)

Very Cool. I love that I share a birthday with Leonardo and Jeffrey Archer is one of my favorite authors. I'm in some very good company......

I seem to be withdrawing into myself.

I find myself withdrawing. I'm reading blogs but not commenting. I'm not posting here. I'm considering not doing the trail running group. I'm pulling back.

The truth is I'm not sure what I want to do. I waffle back and forth about doing a tri, running, weight training, blah, blah, blah. I just don't know where I want to focus my energies. This makes it really, really hard to commit to anything. Because I can't commit to a darn thing, I don't feel qualified to comment on anyone else's blog. I read how everyone is swimming, biking, running, and preparing for races and I feel like I'm adrift with no anchor.

How do I shake this malaise?? How do I commit myself to something?? How do I gain focus in my life again?? I really hate this feeling. The odd thing is that I tend towards depression but this is not that. I'm not depressed at all just lack direction right now.

Part of the problem is that I have some things in my life I'm considering. I kind of feel like I'm at a crossroads in a number of areas in my life and need to make lots of decisions. I feel like the choices I make now will effect things for a long time to come. Ugh!!!! I do not know how to explain it. All I know is that I HATE making decisions like this. I want to see the black and white not have to wallow in the grey area.

I know this doesn't make a lot of sense but some of these decisions are sensitive and I don't want to go into detail here. So I'm busy here trying to figure out my life. Why can't it just be easy??? Why can't I just decide what I want to do and do it??? God, if only life were that easy....

02 May 2006

Maybe I need to start a little slower.

I jumped in with both feet yesterday and boy, did I end up paying for it.

I got up yesterday and went to the Y. Did my cardio and upper body work and felt very good and self righteous. Then it was a shower and off to work.

About 11 a.m. I started to get a headache. Now this is something that is fairly common with me. I tend to get headaches after my period and when I go back to "clean" eating. So I wasn't too concerned and figured I'd just ride it out. When I ate lunch it subsided slightly so I knew exactly what it was all about.

By 3 p.m. I was in absolute agony. Every movement hurt my head. I was dying. Trying to eat my snacks to reduce it and nothing was working. By the time I got to WW at 6 I felt like my head was going to explode. I should note, I didn't take anything because that usually doesn't help. It's a hunger/sugar headache and the only thing that will help is sugar. Driving home proved new levels of torture. I thought I was going to die.

By the time I got home I was so incredibly nauseous I was really worried. Also, I could hardly keep my eyes open. My hubby had made dinner and it smelled great but I could only eat a few bites. Ugh!!! I felt so bad and I didn't know exactly what to do.

I laid down on the couch and actually dozed for a little bit. When I woke up I felt better and the hubby asked if I wanted a little ice cream. That was when it hit me, sugar. I needed sugar. I had a little ice cream and felt immediately better. I then went to my stash of candy. I have those Crunch Dark Chocolate sticks- oh, to die for - and ate 3 of them. Within 5 minutes I felt 100% better. Wow. I took some ibuprofen and headed off to bed.

When I woke up this morning I had just a slight remnant of the headache so I opted to skip swimming (besides, it's freaking freezing here). I've also decided to ease up just a little and cut things slowly. Today I will prepare a little bit more food with a sweet treat and at the first sign of a headache I'll eat something.

I was going to say that hasn't happened in a very long time but I realized I haven't been that strict with myself in a very long time. I've spent a lot of time deceiving myself that I was being good when I wasn't.

Oh well, you live and you learn. Today will be a little easier and by the end of the week I'll be as strict as I was yesterday.

30 April 2006

I'm ready for the week.

House is clean. Laundry is washed. Shopping is done. A plan has been made. I'm ready for the week. I have a workout schedule. I have my WW diary ready to fill in and I've got all the points for the typical things I eat written down. I feel confident and strong. I'm approaching this as a way to take care of myself. I'm not going to focus on weight loss aspect as that tends to really bring me down. I'm going to eat good food and keep track of what I eat because that's good for me and I really want to be the best I can be.

So, starting tomorrow I do 45 minutes of cardio (probably running) and 30 minutes of weights Mon, Wed, and Fri mornings. I will swim for 45 minutes on Tues and Thurs mornings. Mon evening is WW. Tues and Thurs evening is trail running. Wed and Fri evenings will be 20 minutes of yoga/pilates. Sunday morning is trail running and Sunday afternoon will be 45 minutes of yoga. Saturday is completely open and I will do whatever I feel like. Next Saturday it will probably be getting my garden together and planted.

I'm looking forward to this. In many ways I'm going back to where I started. This is how it all began 8 years ago now. I kept busy exercising and focused on doing the best I could. That's what I plan on doing. I'm working on rewards but that is proving hard. I'm not sure what I want to work towards. My big reward (if I ever manage to get this weight off) is my new bike. I'm not going to buy it until then because I want a tri bike and that will justify it - at least in my mind. So I'm working on the rewards. Please feel free to make suggestions.

Okay, that's it. I'm going to fold my laundry, get my bag packed for morning and get ready to watch Desperate Housewives. That and Grey's Anatomy better not be repeats, I'm so freaking sick of repeats!!!!!!

Monsoon season has arrived

and we got our first rain yesterday. Actually, it's still raining a little this morning. It wasn't a lot of rain, but it was rain....