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Showing posts from January 21, 2007

I have a terrible habit of

transferring my anxiety. I take things I have no control over that really upsets me and transfer my worries to something I do have some control over. I'm sure it's fairly typical. I bet it's just human nature.

I have faced the truth. I'm really, really upset about the whole Rocco situation. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him and I don't want to. 12 years is not long enough. I sat down earlier and had a good cry over Rocco and now have my strength back. We'll do whatever it takes to give Rocco the best chance possible.

I was losing myself in the money of it. Because that's the part I have some control over. There are a number of possible ways to pay for Rocco's surgery and the easiest way is with my bike fund. That's life. I saved for my bike over the past couple of months, I can do it again. I may not get another shot at a Kestrel but if it's meant to be it's meant to be. Also, they do offer financing. Maybe next weekend, afte…

When will this end????

So I started this post saying how I was feeling much better about Rocco. Yesterday, after speaking to the vet, I was really down. When we took him in for the biopsy I kind of knew that it was going to be another mast cell tumor. But there was one little spark of hope that maybe, just maybe it wasn't. Well, after speaking to the vet that little spark of hope had been squished like a bug and I was feeling really down.

But this morning I was (was being the operative word here) feeling much better about it. Once we got the chest x-ray and the bloodwork done I would have a whole lot more information to work with and would not be making a decision in the dark, so to speak.

So I'm typing away feeling much better when I look over at Rocco who's laying in the doorway about 4 feet from me. I glance over and notice the lump looks different. Hmmmm...... I roll my chair over there and proceed to freak! The tumor is open. There is a quarter size hole in it and I can see into it; s…

It's times like these that I wish I wasn't an adult.

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I wish there was someone who I could turn to and say, so what do we do now????


On November 17 Rocco had surgery to remove a mast cell tumor on his face. At that time they took chest x-rays and did blood work and determined that the cancer was confined to the facial tumor.

Last week hubby noticed that a little fat lump Rocco had on his side started to grow and was getting really hard. Also, Rocco was starting to lick at it which creates problems all on it's own.

Yesterday I took Rocco to the vet. They said they really needed to do a biopsy to see if it was another mast cell tumor. But, since he has a history of them, they needed to give him a shot of Benadryl because mast cells produce histamines and sometimes when disturbed will granulate and send the histamines out into the body. This can result in anaphylatic shock and death of the dog. They kept Roc for 2 hours yesterday to make sure this didn't happen.

The vet just called, it is another mast cell tumor. The choice I now fa…

Okay kids

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I've made my decision.

This is my new bike:




The other day when I looked at it they slapped some flat pedals on it and I took it out for a spin. But they said if I wanted to really try it out to bring my own pedals and shoes and I could take it for a real ride. So I did that today. Hubby went with me since I can't make a purchase of this size without his blessing.

So while Rocco was at the vets (that's a whole other post) we headed over the hill for the test ride.

Side note: The Look pedals I have came with my bike and they are ancient. The bike mechanic took the pedals and kind of laughed. The sales girl goes, "What kind of pedals are those??" Mechanic, "These are the original Look pedals. I haven't seen them in years."

Anyway, he got me all hooked up, adjusted the seat and I was off. This bike is sweet. I rode it up the sides of Diamond Head and, while I suck at hills, did pretty well with this baby. I was pleased.

The only problem I ran into…

A sudden realization

Although I haven't been blogging about it, I've been getting lots of training in during my time off. It's been a lot of fun, I pretty much follow my training schedule in the morning but then in the afternoons do whatever I feel like doing. It's been great, I could definitely live like this :)

Tuesday was weights and I upped the weights on all the moves because it was time. I did them but a couple of muscles actually went to total failure so it was a good workout. Wednesday morning I went swimming and I had every intention of swimming 4000 m. I've never swam that far and I decided it was time to try. By the time I got to 2000 m my pecs and my lats were sore and I could feel the pull in the triceps and biceps. I wisely decided that the weight training Tuesday made swimming 4000 m impossible. That's okay. I stopped at 2000 m and left the pool. By last night I was sore. My biceps and pecs were just killing me. I guess between the weights and the swimming I …

It's Wednesday and I've done all the chores on my list.

I'm stoked. This means the next 4 days are all mine.

Today I went and picked up my bike, no, not my new one, my old Bianchi that was in the shop. I was excited to get it back. I have not really ridden since October. This afternoon I took it out for a spin and it's totally cool. I am however, out of bike shape and that will have to change quickly.

Other than that, I washed and waxed my car. I'm seriously thinking of getting a new car. I have a 2001 Ford Escape and while I love it to death, it's getting up there. It has almost 100,000 miles on it. As I was waxing it I noticed a whole lot of new nicks in the paint and some small scrapes that I don't know where they came from, hmmm!!! I think it needs new shocks, which I'll probably have done next month, and it's just plain getting old. I'm thinking of the new Ford Edge, I really like those, or possibly even the Ford Fusion. I drove the Fusion last year and it was really nice. And, it has a back sea…

This was almost like work.

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Since it was raining today I decided that it would be a good day to go bike shopping. Now I should explain that I really know squat about bikes. They have 2 weeks, some gears, some brakes, I'm good to go. But in order to get the best bike for the money you really have to have some idea of what's going on. So today was looking, pricing, and learning.

Oh. My. God.

You would not believe all the crap that's flying around in my head right now. Carbon fiber, forks, Ultegra, 105, gear ratios, geometry, WSD, shaft length, 11 teeth, 13 teeth, compact cranks, blah, blah, blah.........

I looked at a lot of bikes today but the ones I seriously considered were: Specialized Roubaix, Kestral Talon, and Fuji S2. I test rode all 3 and it's hard to get a feel with just a few minutes on a bike. I need to ride it for 2 hours and see how I feel then.

Anyway, the Specialized Robaix I was not impressed with. I don't know exactly what I didn't like but there was something that ju…

You will not believe what I did today.

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I made soap. Yes, soap!! I've been wanting to try it for a long time and a while back Mojo had how she makes soap on her blog. Well that got me to thinking and over the last couple of months I've gathered the necessary supplies (thank god I work in a lab cause lye is hard to find). So today was the day. I just tried a basic recipe, fat and sodium hydroxide. I know it won't be pretty and won't smell all that great but I just wanted to see how the process went. I'm already planning my next batch which will be a little fancier. I want to make clear soap with flowers in them. I've seen them I just have to figure out how to do it. Anyway I was very busy today but I had to share my great soap adventure. Oh yeah, I won't know how it turned out for about a month. It has to cure for that long.