03 January 2009

The best laid plans......

Well, yesterday was supposed to be my spruce myself up day. I was going to get my nails done and put makeup on and everything. Yeah..... That didn't happen. Instead we had a health crisis with Rocco. Seems he's developed pancreatitis. I spent most of the day at the vet. Hopefully we'll be able to turn it around but there is a good possibility it could kill him. Keep your fingers crossed for him.

The final piece of the puzzle I was missing was the art of balance. I have always said that I can do anything extremely well if I can focus solely on that. Well, duh!!! Who couldn't do that. The thing is life doesn't work that way. I'm not on the Biggest Loser, I don't get to think about only my weight loss for 4 months, it's just not going to happen. But what happens with me is that I will focus on eating right and exercising and that will go along really, really well but other parts of my life will fall apart. Then something will come up in another area and my eating right and exercising will fall by the wayside. What I was reading said that in order to avoid this you have to have balance and not exclusion. So instead of focusing strictly on weight loss you have to give equal time to work, finances, family, etc. So that's what I'm trying to do.

A couple of weeks back I bought the most perfect planner ever made (something I've been searching years for). It is structured unlike other planners and more like my mind works (how scary is that??). Everything is going into this planner, workouts, finances, appointments, to-do lists, etc. This will be my brain. This way I can sit for a few minutes on the weekend and focus on my workouts. I plan them for the week, knowing what my schedule will be, and write them down. That's it - done! I also go over the bills and money for the week. Write them down so I know where we stand and that's it - done. Etc, etc. In this way I'm focusing on all areas of my life but only in little chunks. This provides balance. This also frees me up to do what needs to be done everyday without worrying about it.

So.... to boil these last 3 posts down, my goals this year are to:

1) Live as if my goals were met

2) Care about how I look and dress

3) Balance all the parts of my life

I don't think these things are too hard to do. In fact, I think these things are easier then a lot of things I've tried in the past. So there your have it. My plan for the new year and the new me.

02 January 2009

Fake it till you feel it

In yesterday's post I got so caught up in how you say things to yourself that I never got to the second part. Because in all my reading what I discovered is that not only must you say things positively and as if they are fact, you must also act like it's a fact. So this person that I was reading said to picture in your mind how you will dress, walk, act, when your goals are reached and to do that now. That led me to thinking.

For the past 8 years I have worked in a lab. That has meant not wearing nice clothes. I always had to wear clothes that I didn't care if they got destroyed or not (which almost all my clothes did). As you can imagine I did not dress very nice. Jeans, shorts, and t-shirts were the order of the day.

Before that I was a nature tour guide and led hikes in the mountains. Again, not something you would dress up for. So I thought about this for a while and I realized something. Wearing those clothes that I didn't care about led to a mindset. I didn't care how I looked. Did you get that?? I DIDN'T CARE HOW I LOOKED!! Wow. Could this be part of the problem?? Seriously. I spent most of my week not caring how I looked!! I think those thoughts really sunk in. Since I was constantly getting acid on something creating holes, I had to convince myself that clothes and how I looked didn't matter at all. In that situation it really didn't, but you say anything often enough and it becomes true.

So, beginning today, I care how I look. I will dress nicely. I will wear make-up. I will blow dry my hair. I even have an appointment to get my nails done, so there. I really think this may be a bigger part of the problem then even I think. If I don't care how I look what does it matter if I eat right or work out??? I really think this is a key. So, from here on out I will care about how I look. There will be no going out in sweats (yes, I did that). There will be no wearing of Crocs except around the house (yes, I would wear them to the store). I have lots of casual clothes that look nice and I will wear them. All of my clothes that make me feel like I don't care are getting dumped. This includes anything with a hole in it, anything that doesn't fit right (generally, too large), and anything I just plain don't like. If what I'm wearing doesn't make me feel fabulous, I'm not wearing it!!!

So, that's where I am at this point. Goals stated in the positive as fact and acting like it's a fact, caring how I look. Interesting how incredibly powerful your mind can be. How these things can get you and you don't even realize it.

01 January 2009

I may have found it

the 'motivation' (for lack of a better work) that I was looking for. I've been cruising around the net, reading lots of different things about motivation, staying on track, getting started, yada, yada. They all pretty much say the same sort of thing and nothing I don't already know and/or do. But I found one that pointed out something I had forgotten.

First, when stating a goal don't say 'I want....' you say 'I have...' or 'I am....' as if it's already happened. I want gives you a built in out in that you may not want that anymore, or at least you can say that you don't. Goals stated in the positive (we all knew that) as if they have already occurred become fact in your mind. So if I say, repeatedly, that by my birthday, April 15th, I will weigh 150 lbs, that becomes a fact in my mind. I will do everything it takes to reach that goal because in my head there is no out. Does that make sense?? I think this might be the little nugget I was missing. When I was working out hard and losing weight consistently that is how I thought. I said things like, I am a runner/triathlete. I workout twice a day. I strength train 3 days a week. No I try, or I'd like to, or I want to. In my head, and the way I stated it, it was a fact. I kept saying that so my mind believed it was true and I did those things. That's how I have to start thinking/saying things again. No trying, no wanting, no like to, I will do it. I will become the person I want to be. I have to pay attention to my wrist more, do or do not, there is no try.

Hau'oli Makahiki Hou


30 December 2008

What motivates you??

I love beginnings. New things to experience. New people to meet. New things to see. Do. I love the clean slate that the first of the year represents. Lots of times I make big plans and have all these goals for a new year. Or month. Or week. This year not so much. I do have goals and plans but I find myself a lot more introspective as this year draws to a close. It was a tough year in many ways and I'm frankly glad to see it go. But there are some things that will be happening in the coming year that I don't to blow and that has started me thinking.

Today I was thinking about motivation. What is motivation? According to the dictionary motivation is the reason or reasons for engaging in a particular behavior. So hunger is a motivation to eat. Tiredness is motivation to sleep. Money is a motivation to work. I get it. I have my motivation to finish school, save money, things like that. We want to move to Colorado and all of those things will further that. So that's my motivation for other things I need to do in my life.

But what is my motivation to eat right and work out? Sure there are all those things, be healthy, feel better, have my clothes fit better, have more energy, blah, blah, blah. But those things are intangibles. Moving to Colorado is a tangible thing I can plan for and work towards and I'll know when I get there. All of those things for weight loss and working out are intangibles. Not easy to measure. Hard to know when I reach them. After eating right and working out for a couple of weeks I have more energy and feel better. So am I done??? No. But, on the other hand, setting goals can lead to failure, despair, and giving up. So what's a girl to do?

Clearly I need to set tangible goals that I can achieve and easily measure. I got that. But I clearly can't set weight goals. That doesn't really work for me. So what? I have some goals for running that I plan to work on but there are some problems there. I can't run everyday. On the days I can't run I need to do something else. I know as an older female that I need to strength train. So I need some strength training goals. What are reasonable ones?? Should I work towards doing 10 full push-ups?? How about chin-ups? Should I work towards lifting a certain weight? Maybe doing a row with 25 lbs?? I don't know. I'm at a loss at this point. What motivates you?? What do you use to get your butt out of bed and to the gym everyday??? Any help would be great.

Not exactly as planned.....

My plan was to get up early and workout every day this week. Well it's Tuesday and that hasn't happened yet. I go through periods of being really tired and I'm in one right now. But there is no more beating myself up. I'm all about acceptance and just doing my best. So I'm good. One thing I have noticed is that due to my screwed up eating for the past couple of weeks my blood sugar is all wacky. That I need to correct much more then I need to lose weight or workout. In the past 2 days I've had 2 blood sugar reactions. That is not good. So it's back to basics No sugar. Or should I say, no added sugar. Naturally occurring sugar, read fruits, don't seem to bother me unless I over do it. But really, it's hard to overdue fruit. So we are back to no sugar, no processed foods, whole foods only. I know this is much better for me but having my blood sugar in check is much more important. I wonder what damage is done to my body every time my blood sugar is wacky? I know it doesn't feel good, I'm positive it can't be good for my body. So yep, back to basics. That could be part of the reason I'm so tired too. Hmmm, who knows.

Well, I do have a day or two of work left so I probably should get ready and head that way.

28 December 2008

My last week

At work that is.  This is so weird.  Whenever I’ve ended a job before I had someplace to go or something to do.  Right at this point I don’t.  I plan on changing that but it’s kind of like stepping off a cliff not knowing exactly what is below you. 


Enough about that, on to my weight loss efforts.  I have made some decisions about how I’m going to do this.  First and foremost exercise, exercise, exercise.  Since this is my last week I have no excuses not to work out.  Even if I have something going on in the morning, I have no excuse for not getting up early and working out.  So the plan is strength training 4 days a week (alternating muscle groups) for about 30-40 minutes.  Running 3 days a week.  Elliptical 30 minutes or so at night 4 days a week. Saturdays, which should be my ‘rest’ day, are going to be for fun stuff, hiking, swimming, biking, whatever I’m in the mood for. 


Second will be the eating.  I’ve decided to write down everything I eat but I’m not going to add the calories up every day.  That makes me crazy.  I start to get all obsessive and think crazy thoughts like if I did good on 1400 calories today why can’t I do 1200 cals tomorrow or 1000 cals.  Crazy!!! I want to keep track but I don’t want to lose my mind.  So journaling but not totaling.  Maybe I’ll total the calories once a week just to see how I’m doing. 


I may weigh myself once a week. I may not weigh myself at all.  I know it’s one method of tracking but it’s something I get obsessively crazy over.  Maybe I should stay away from it.  Or wait, I just had an idea.  I could have my husband read the scale and write it down and not tell me.  Then I can look at it when I’m ready.  I may do that. 


As you may guess I’m not particularly focused on weight loss.  I’m going for fat loss.  I have an electrical impedance fat monitor and I’m going to use that to track how I’m doing.  I’ve said before I really don’t care about the number on the scale.  I’d be happy to weigh 170 lbs and have 20% body fat.  Of course, I might look a little weird, I’d be a 135 lbs of muscle and 35 lbs of fat.  A little more muscular than I want to be, but I’d take it. 


My goals are to have 25% body fat and to run – fast.  Okay, fast for me.  I know that when I am thinner I can run faster.  So that’s my goal.  I want to run a 5k in under 30 minutes.  A 10k in under an hour.  A half marathon in 2 hours.  That’s not insane.  That’s not out of the realm of possibility.  I can do it if I lose some of this fat and work on my running.  I can do it. 


Okay, that’s enough for tonight.  I’ve spent the day planning and shopping and cooking so I am ready for the week.  I’ve got a good stock of fruits and veggies and healthy snacks,  no processed crap.  I’m excited and looking forward to the week. 

That was ugly...

But I did it.

I made an astonishing discovery this morning. I'm afraid of running. I have had so many injuries and problems because of running that it now scares me. I didn't realize that before and I didn't understand why I would avoid running. Now I get it. So with that knowledge, and the power that goes with it, I headed out for my 4 mile run. I was taking it slow because I figured if I'm afraid of running take it easy and get used to it slowly. I'm not in any rush to break any records so why push it right???

I started off pretty good and was feeling great. I had a nice pace going, about 12 min/mile, and was feeling fantastic. At the 1 mile mark my blood sugar started going wacky. I didn't have anything with me because I was only doing 4 miles. I walked for a couple of minutes and things settled down. I managed to run 2 miles and then headed back. On the way back things got worse. Every time I ran the blood sugar would take a nose dive and I'd get all shaky. I ended up walking and towards the end even that wasn't working. But I got in my 4 miles and I didn't hurt myself. It was definitely ugly, but I did it. Hubby is now making breakfast so I can get some carbs and protein and level out my blood sugar.

Today I'm going to spend cleaning, shopping, and cooking. I got the new Clean Eating magazine (I LOVE that magazine!!!!) and they have some great recipes. I want to have things ready for the week so I can start the New Year on a high note.

So I'm going to eat breakfast and get the cleaning done. I need to move the tv stand. Somehow the birds manage to fling seed behind it even though they are across the room. They probably do it when I'm not home :)

Monsoon season has arrived

and we got our first rain yesterday. Actually, it's still raining a little this morning. It wasn't a lot of rain, but it was rain....