21 March 2009


Cheesy I know :) I am so on this whole fat loss thing! You have no idea!! I feel great and I feel motivated deep inside, if that makes any sense at all. I'm on top of the world. I haven't felt this convinced that I could lose weight since I weighed 225 lbs and had had enough. Maybe I've just reached that same point only much lighter now. All I know is that I took yesterday off because I just wanted to see how I would feel after Thursday. I felt great and was chomping at the bit to workout. I didn't. I woke up at 5 this morning (when I didn't have to get up that early) just because I wanted to get to it. I feel strong and powerful and I want to keep that feeling going. I am a little bit tired tonight and think I'm going to pass on the evening elliptical. I went for a one hour run/walk this morning and I did some weights with intervals this afternoon. I'm a little bit tired and leaning towards resting. That strength workout was brutal. I'm going hiking in the morning and am really looking forward to that. I'll probably do some trail running. Woo Hoo!!! Okay, I'm pumped and I'm sure no one cares. I'm going to head out to the living room and fire up the laptop so I can get some schoolwork done.

20 March 2009

Body Bugg

I've been wearing the Body Bugg again recently. I wore it yesterday during all those workouts and I burned 2500 cals. I wore it today when I literally sat at a desk and read a book, and burned 1500. Interesting huh?? My 3 bouts of exercise burned 900 cals. Cool. And I took 15,000 steps yesterday. Today I took 4,000. I now see why I gained weight over the last 2 months since I lost my job. I spend way too much time on by ample butt.

I have felt absolutely fantastic all day today. In fact, I'm dying to workout. I had planned it like this; workout hard Thursday and rest on Friday. That would allow me to gauge how I will feel. Well, I feel awesome and want to workout. I'm going to refrain and hit it hard tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it. Instead of working out I think I'll go look for some online auto insurance quotes. That should keep me busy. Right now it's time for some dinner.

Experiment successful

Okay, now that I have all the pieces (at least mentally) it's time to put them all in place and act. I did that yesterday. Today is the last day of school. Spring break here in Hawaii is 2 weeks long. Spring break for grad school is only 1 week, but that's only 2 nights a week. My point is that for the next 2 weeks I have nothing to do. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Once the last piece of the puzzle fell into place on Tuesday I felt energized and ready to really tackle this whole weight thing. I wanted to start right away but I figured I needed a good plan. So after some careful self analysis and looking through my old journals I have a plan of attack. I'm calling it, The Biggest Loser Home Edition.

For this event I will spend the next 2 weeks focusing on me. I'm going to eat right, workout a lot, and take this time to kind of get a jump start on my weight loss. My general plan is:

Mornings: Go for a run or a bike ride
Afternoons: Strength training
Evenings: Cardio

That's it, pretty simple but very effective. Yesterday was a test run to see if it was possible and how I would feel. Yes, it definitely is possible and I feel great. I can hear it already and trust me, I've already thought of everything your thinking.

I will over train and hurt myself: Not likely since I will be doing a variety of things and I'm only doing it for 2 weeks.

That much exercise can't be good: I would argue that point but I have no scientific facts to back it up. Suffice it to say I've done this before and I can handle it.

You'll get tired/bored/whatever: again, it's only for 2 weeks. Hell, I can tread water for 2 weeks if I have to.

Also, remember, I have nothing else to do during this time. If I'm excessively tired I can sleep in or take a nap. No problem. Also, I think I tend to underestimate my abilities. I get so caught up in the 'exercise 30 minutes a day', 'go slow', 'take it easy'. Bullsh*t!!! Thinking like that got me where I am. I am going to go hard and really hit it for 2 weeks. After the 2 weeks I'll scale back to an easier schedule because I'll be back at work. By then I should be ready for some time in some luxury hotel rooms. Little hot tub. Little massage. Oh yes, I will have earned it.

Yesterday was a test drive of this plan. I went for an hour run/walk in the morning. Before lunch I did about 40 minutes of strength training. And I watched Grey's Anatomy while on the elliptical. I ate well though I think I should have eaten a little bit more. A couple of things I noticed. I've had a lot more energy yesterday then I've had in weeks. I slept like a rock. I felt like a rock star. I woke up easily this morning and while I can feel some muscles I'm not very sore anywhere. I think I did good. So I know I can do it and it doesn't kill me. Starting tomorrow game on.

I have a couple of goals for these 2 weeks. First, just to get back into the habit of working out. If I work out 3 times a day for 2 weeks, working out once a day will seem absolutely easy. Second, I would really like to lose some body fat. My secret, if I'm perfect, goal is about 15 lbs. That's not out of the question I'm just not positive it's possible. So my real goal is 8-10 lbs. That sounds like a lot but I really think it's doable. That 1-2 lb weight loss per week is for those taking it slow and easy. For the next 2 weeks easy is not in my vocabulary. I have lost 6 lbs in a week without working as hard as I will be then next 2 weeks. I would like to hit my 50th birthday weighing 20lbs less then I do now. Can I do it?? Anything is possible.

19 March 2009

The pieces finally fit.

Do you do puzzles? Any kind of puzzles; crosswords, jigsaw, anything. I love puzzles, I really, really do. I love looking at something that makes no sense and making sense of it. I think that's why I was so attracted to science. It generally takes logic and careful thought to solve a puzzle. I like that. But what I like best is that there is a point where you can see the answer. That magic moment when what a second before had been a confusing pile suddenly all makes sense. The light bulb goes on, you can see the answer and all you have to do is make it so. That's what has happened to me.

Tuesday afternoon's revelation was like a puzzle suddenly showing me the answer. You all don't realize how long I've struggled with that particular thing and what a huge accomplishment it is to conquer it. Now I know I have to pay attention, that particular battle is something I'll be fighting the rest of my life. But it's kind of like putting out a forest fire, the worst is over I just have to watch for hot spots. I can do that.

So I'm motivated this time from deep within me (the poop), I feel I have all the pieces to the puzzle and that if not in their proper places I can at least see how it's supposed to go, and I have a plan. I'm not going to go into it yet as I'm still working out the details, but it starts now. I'm excited, I'm confident and I'm sure this time I'll make it work. Right now I have to go run.

17 March 2009

Connections made

I'm studying to be a high school teacher, I may have mentioned that once or 400 times :) One of the things that we really focus on and try to learn before we are thrown in front of 30 bored teenagers is classroom management. Techniques, tips, strategies to keep these kids under control, paying attention, and doing what you want them to. We read about them, talk about them, role play them, ad nausem. But, as I've discovered and discussed with my mentor teacher, until a situation actually arises that you have to manage with one of these techniques, you don't own it. It's just like learning anything new, until you actually practice what you learn it's not really yours.

You might be asking what this might possibly have to do with weight loss, eating right, exercise, or any of the above. I'm glad you asked. For years I've heard that you need to figure out why you want to eat the things you shouldn't be eating. Why are you wanting that triple fudge sundae? Why do you feel the need to devour an entire cake? I've heard you should stop and figure out what's eating you before you start eating. I've never been able to do that. I've been able to figure it out after, and while that's great that's not soon enough. I have been able to stop in the middle and say that I didn't really want that. Again, that's fantastic but still not quite soon enough. Today however, I did it before.

I have a paper due in class tonight that I have been struggling with for weeks. It's a literature review paper and I have a pretty good sense of what I want to write about but wading through the literature is so incredibly time consuming and I'm not finding exactly what I want. So the rough draft is due tonight and I didn't really have anything. When I got up this morning I sat down at the computer and dove in. I worked for 3 hours and realized that I was hungry. I decided to take a break and make me something to eat. As I headed out to the kitchen I said, out loud, 'what I really want is Girl Scout Cookies!' As I said it I heard it and it literally stopped me in my tracks. I then said, out loud, 'no you don't, you just think you deserve them because this paper is so hard!' I then proceeded to grab a healthy snack, handful of peanuts and a banana, and return to my paper. The magnitude of what had just happened though didn't hit me until I was done with the rough draft. I got the paper submitted and felt so proud of myself for getting it done on time that's when it hit me. Most of the time when I accomplish something really hard, for me, there's usually junk food involved. Then, I feel bummed because I ate the junk food and not as proud as I should be of my accomplishment. Junk food was literally stealing my thunder. So now the whole think before you eat thing? It's mine. I own it. Not only do I own it it will be something I use all the time. Someone once said, stop knowing and start doing. Okay, I will.

I have lots more to write but I'll stop here for now. Time to play with the birds and head off to class.

16 March 2009


Went well. I managed to get up at 4:30 this morning and got a workout in. It was only 30 minutes on the elliptical machine but it was more then I've done in a while. I had hoped to get a strength session in tonight but I didn't. No excuses, no rationalizations, none of that crap. I didn't get it done and that's all there is to it. I'll try again tomorrow. Food however was very good. I completely forgot to take photos of my food. Tomorrow I will go at it again and I will do better.

Okay, I am avoiding writing a paper by blogging. I had better get to it.

15 March 2009

Tomorrow it begins

I've said this before and meant it each time. But this time there is something different. I have always looked at the positive side of things and that worked well for a while. This time I took some time and looked at the negative side. The things that were bothering me. The things that made being me not so fun. I've got a very long list, much more then I've written here, and most of it is stuff that really pisses me off. I weighed and measured today. My weight has not changed in 3 weeks but my bodyfat has gone up. Not a lot, but up. Interesting no??? It is to me. I've spent the day planning, shopping, and prepping. Failing to plan is planning to fail. So I'm planning to succeed. I'm also starting working out again. I'm torn about the morning workouts. I've done it for so long and thought it was working for me. But the last few weeks made me think that it might not be. But, I'm not sure if I'm just rationalizing because working out itself was so hard for me. So I'm going to give mornings another go. I'm going to do my cardio in the morning and weights in the afternoon/evenings. I am going to run and strength train. On days there is no strength I'm going to do yoga. I'm going to add biking and hiking back into the mix. I'm going to enjoy working out again. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

The poop is high enough now...

Well, I've done it. I spent the last few days focusing on the negative aspects, the things I don't like and the list has gotten pretty long. But yesterday pushed it over the top completely.

I have blood sugar issues. I'm hypoglycemic but the doctors have never been able to prove it because they won't listen to me about when to run the test. They always do a fasting glucose and that's not when it bothers me. It effects me 2 1/2 - 3 hours after I eat sugar. Gee, just about how long it takes for my stomach to start breaking the food down and move it into my bloodstream. Coincidence????

Anyway, when I eat right and workout regularly my blood sugar becomes more stable. I will be able to have a little sugary treat and not turn into a pile of quivering mush in a couple of hours. Yesterday we had an afternoon wedding to go to. After I got home from my test and before we left I was a little hungry, so I had a bowl of cereal. Exactly 2 1/2 hours later, as we are driving to the wedding, my blood sugar took a nose dive. The worst part about this happening is that the only thing that 'corrects' it is to eat more simple sugar. Luckily we came across someone selling stuff on the side of the road (does that happen anywhere but Hawaii??) and I was able to grab some desserty thing to calm my blood sugar. I was fine the rest of the day but that incident was the straw that broke the camel's back, or made the poop too high. I had some very slight reactions a couple of days ago but I was able to wait them out. This one was pretty bad and there was no waiting, I had to eat something.

This blood sugar thing becomes a vicious cycle. It crashes and the only way to feel better is to eat simple sugar. This causes me to over eat things I shouldn't be eating at all. Not only that, this can not be good for my body.

One of sugar's major drawbacks is that it raises the insulin level, which inhibits the release of growth hormones, which in turn depresses the immune system. This is not something you want to take place if you want to avoid disease.

An influx of sugar into the bloodstream upsets the body's blood-sugar balance, triggering the release of insulin, which the body uses to keep blood-sugar at a constant and safe level. Insulin also promotes the storage of fat, so that when you eat sweets high in sugar, you're making way for rapid weight gain and elevated triglyceride levels, both of which have been linked to cardiovascular disease. Complex carbohydrates tend to be absorbed more slowly, lessening the impact on blood-sugar levels.

That's just a couple of things it does. Plus the whole body being out of whack can not be good. The human body fights to maintain homeostasis, anything that throws that off must cause harm to the body.

That was pretty much the final push I need to get my act together. No more excuses! No more giving myself a break! No more touchy-feely crap!! Today I'm going to plan out what I'm going to eat during the week. I'm going to go grocery shopping. I'm going to plan out a workout schedule. Starting tomorrow I'm back on track. I really am tired of the poop around here.

Today I stop knowing and start doing.

Completely out of control

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