I got up this morning after a terrible nights sleep and all I wanted to do was sweat. I wanted to push myself hard. So I did. I did a 30 minute interval/strength session then did 45 minutes cardio. When I was done I was wiped out and sweat was pouring off my body. That was exactly what was needed. I feel better. Still incredibly sad but at least I feel like I can handle it now. I've spent most of the morning second guessing myself; maybe we should wait, maybe she's not as bad as I think, maybe another week wouldn't hurt; I finally decided that I could justify anything but is that fair to her?? The vast majority of the time she just looks miserable. Her eyes droop like there is pain and suffering going on. She's a pit bull so she's very strong and doesn't show much pain even when it's bad. We've had incidences over the years where the vet said she must be in extreme pain but you would never know it by looking at her. So if I'm seeing pain it's bad and the times she whines in pain must be horrendous. I just can't let her suffer anymore. I am doing the right thing. The reason I want to keep her around is for me not her. I don't want to lose her. Okay, enough of this. There will be plenty of that the next few days.
What I did want to note though was this very cool website. Do you know what 200 calories looks like??? It's a great website and a great idea. Very surprising!!! So the next time you feel like overeating something go look there, it will change your mind.
Today was infinitely sad and tomorrow will be worse. We decided today that Nala has reached the end of her journey. Tomorrow afternoon we will have her put to sleep. We made that decision first thing this morning after a very rough night with her. As a result I have been crying on and off all day. There was no workout in me. None. There is also not much food. I haven't been hungry and when I forced myself to eat it was just a little. I don't count on much tomorrow either. But Sunday, I'm sure I'll be going full force to combat my grief. I'm out of sorts right now. I know the worst is coming and I don't want to face it but I have to. It's a horrible position to be in. Anyway, that's what's going on here. Sadness all around.....
Seriously. I really think I have hearing issues. These would be due in no small part to the amount and loudness of music I listened to as a youth, concerts attended with seating next to the speakers, headphone use through the years, and the presence of a cockatoo in my house and frequently on my shoulder. I do have trouble hearing but usually in specific settings. If there is a lot of people and everyone is talking I have to focus on the person I'm talking to or I won't hear a thing. Certain TV shows I have trouble hearing and it must be the way they are filmed because most I have not problem with. Certain accents I have trouble with and it's not that I can't understand them, I really can't hear what they are saying - it's weird. So when I heard about this noise that only teenagers can hear I thought there is no way I could hear it. I was wrong. Hmmm....seriously.....Maybe my hearing is not as bad as I thought. You can try it yourself.
The last few months have been a real learning experience for me. I've learned a lot, realized a lot, things I've been working on for years are suddenly easy, and pieces of the weight loss puzzle have finally fallen into place. It's been a good thing.
Now I think I've gotten the last few pieces. I purchased the Body Bugg a while back and I've been using it on and off. The online program that goes with the device downloads your calories burned from the armband. You are also supposed to enter what you've eaten and your weight on a regular basis. I have been just using the Bugg to monitor my calories. I haven't been inputting what I eat. Suddenly yesterday it hit me. The program is smart and will learn the more information you give it. By not inputting my food I was really missing out on the power of this program. What an idiot. So, as much as I hate it, I'm inputting my food every day no matter how high.
Then this morning I had another revelation. I'm not doing enough cardio. I need to do cardio to burn fat and strength training to build muscle to keep my metabolism pumping. The times when I've been in the best shape always involved lots of cardio. Generally cardio in the morning and cardio or strength at night. Some how I lost that. Some how I let the need to do strength take over my thoughts and training and that's not good. So it's back to basics.
I've worked out every morning this week in spite of being drop dead tired, so I am very proud of myself. It's back to recording every bite and cardio, cardio, cardio.......
I can not believe it's Wednesday night already. The last 2 weeks, when I was on spring break, moved so incredibly slow and I did nothing but whine about the surplus time on my hands. Now this week is just flying by. Tomorrow is my last day because Friday is a holiday. Woo Hoo!!!! I've been very busy but I have been getting up at 4:30 am to work out. I'm impressed with me.
I had a little drama trying to get registered for school for the coming semesters. My program runs two courses over the summer. I could easily register for one but the other one kept giving me an error. That took a little bit to straighten out. Then for fall semester I'm doing my student teaching (Woo Hoo) and I couldn't register because the testing service didn't send the results to HPU. You have to pass that test before you can student teach. So now I have to pay $40 to have the results forwarded. And they are forwarded electronically, why does it cost $40???? I call bullshit!!! Also, the test I took in March is not going to be sent there either so I will have to pay another $40 to have those results forwarded. Oh wait, what if I just wait until those results are ready and then pay $40 to have them all forwarded at once. I wonder if I could do that??? Okay, I'll have to check on that.
In other, possibly good, news I may be able to finish my master's 2 semesters early. I have contacted the program head and asked if I could take a class over the summer that I should take in Spring 2010 and take my final class online. She said I could take the class over the summer and take the final class in the second summer semester. What that means is that I would have my dissertation done this summer. Once I finished my student teaching I would be done and would graduate. Yeeeehaaaaaaaa!!! It's not a done deal yet. I have to get the instructors permission and then petition the dean for approval but the program director highly recommends it. Keep your fingers crossed, I'll know in a few weeks.
Also, I did a second interview for a summer teaching job yesterday. I had to go in front of a history class and teach a 15 minute biology lesson. Also in the class were a number of other teachers and an administrator watching how I did. They loved, loved, my classroom management. That's what I worry about most and they loved it!! You know, not to brag or pat myself on the back or anything, but I think I'm going to be an awesome teacher. Everyone who has seen me teach says I am a complete natural and do it really, really well. I have a presence at the front of the room and I have a great, relaxed, style. I also can quickly develop a rapport with the class. I think I've finally figured out what I'm supposed to do with my life. When I'm in front of a class it just feels so right. Anyway, they loved me, but because I'm not certified yet and they have some certified teachers applying I probably won't get the job, but there's always a chance. They said they'd make the decisions by the end of the week. Keep your fingers crossed.
You know what they say, be careful what you wish for??? I can absolutely see both of these things coming through and me having the most brutal summer on record. With teaching summer school, writing a dissertation and the other classes, student teaching will be a walk in the park :) That's okay, I'm willing to work myself ragged for 8 weeks. Anyway, I'll let you know what happens with all of the above.
A few months back blogger put in a thing where you could follow blogs right through blogger. Also, when people follow you on the dashboard it tell you how many followers you have and you can see who they are. Now, just for the record, I don't follow any blogs through blogger because I use bloglines. It's a feed reader that allows me to follow any blog I want and all I have to do is log into one place to see them all. I find this much more convenient then jumping around from blog to blog, especially since a lot of the blogs I follow are not on blogger. I just wanted to be clear on this. Anyway, I have a couple of follows whom I also follow through the above mentioned bloglines, but there are a couple of others. For a long time I had a follower I didn't know at all. Odd. I checked out their blog and it was okay but not what I was into. I wondered how they found me and why they followed me. We had very different interests. Hmmm...oh well. That person is now gone but there is another one. I just find it interesting. Almost all the blogs I follow I have commented on now and again, but these followers have never commented on mine. The only blogs I think I have never commented on are the funny pictures ones, LOLCats, LOLDogs, Fail, etc.
Okay, this really has nothing to do with anything at all, I was just wondering about followers and I'm putting off going to the grocery story because I'm lazy :)