11 July 2009

Sabotaging myself (or DOH!!!)

Being a trained scientist and working as one for years, I have a habit of seeing patterns and connections most people miss. It's just the nature of the beast when in science. Sometimes it's the least obvious connection that makes all the difference. So I can see patterns and connections really easy in other people but not so much in myself.

It's been just over 2 weeks since I worked out (I checked on my calendar) and just about a week since I said I was going to put working out on the back burner for now. Well, once I said that of course I really wanted to work out, but very honestly I just could not find the time and the energy. I had so much going on and so much work to do I just didn't see how I could fit it in, that's why I stepped away for a little bit. Then E.L. left a comment that noodled around in the back of my head for a couple of days. He said:

if you've formed the healthy habits and therefore naturally gravitate towards them


Those few words bounced around in my head and were making me question some things. Then, the other day, I was thinking about people who do make time to work out consistently and I thought to myself, well, they have worked their routine so they can do that. I just can't right now. Well, those words joined E.L.'s words in my head and kept bouncing around in there. Something was starting to click.

Last night as I was cleaning up the kitchen I was thinking about my routines, not in reference to working out just in general, and it hit me -- Finally!!! I was sabotaging myself. I had set up my routines to do just that. For example, in the morning here is my normal routine:

Get up
Make coffee
Feed the birds
Sit at computer while I drink coffee
Realize I don't have time to work out
Take the dogs out

Sit at computer while I drink coffee!! I inevitably sit down to check email and suddenly 30 minutes is gone. That's where I'm sabotaging myself. So I've decided to make new routines. This morning I:

Got up
Made coffee
Fed the birds
Sat with my planner and planned my day while I drank coffee
Worked out
Took the dogs out

Wow!!! Just one small change has made a huge difference. There's more to do with my routine but I think I'm not only on to something but off to a good start. Yea!!!

10 July 2009

Almost done

Summer school that is.... I have today and I have Monday and that's it. Yea!!! I have a lot to do this weekend, things I didn't get done last weekend because my friend was visiting. Plus I have a bird club meeting on Sunday and I have to take Lola to the vet on Saturday, another busy weekend. Plus I have school work to do, ugh!!! I should also look for some term life insurance, I've been wanting to do that forever yet never seem to get around to it. At least I'll be able to nap when I want to and not entertain a visitor.

Today I have to get fingerprinted by the Catholic Church. Because I'll be teaching in a Catholic School the Catholic Diocese is doing the background check on me. Fun stuff. Meanwhile I should be planning what I'm going to do today but instead I'm blogging :) Oh well!!!

I need to get some activity in. I think this weekend I'm going to do some, but I'm not going to get crazy or start obsessing. I'm just going to do something on Saturday and on Sunday. That's all, no craziness, just get out and move. I really, really have to find a balance. I was thinking about that today as I was getting the bird's breakfast ready. I can incorporate anything into my life, including 30 minutes to feed the birds when I first wake up, but I need to find a space for it and not let it take over my life. That's how exercise fit before. I had a space for it in my life and outside of that space it didn't exist during my day, that's not completely true but close. So maybe that's what I need to do, just find a spot for it. Use my scheduling genius, find a spot for it, and put it there everyday. Hmm... That may work, I'll have to noodle that for a while.

Thursday night my class goes until a little after 9. I generally don't get home until 9:30 or 9:45, making Friday a very tiring morning. Luckily there are only 5 more weeks of this class. Yea!!!

Okay, I could keep finding things to write about all day, I have to get some things done this morning.

09 July 2009

Slowing down

A little any. E.L. left a very insightful comment on my post about easing up on myself. I won't quote the whole thing here but it is worth a read. He raises some good points. How do you(that being anyone) keep from getting obsessed with eating right and working out? How do you strike that balance that we all need so badly? I have a tendency to be an all or nothing type person. I've tried to break it for years but it's a pretty persistent tendency. As a result of this I will either go all out and puts lots of pressure on myself or do nothing at all. How do I get the balance? How do I get my workouts in without putting insane pressures on myself and then beating myself up when I don't live up to them? What do I do???

I've started to want to workout again and as soon as that thought entered my head I immediately started making plans for things to do. I felt like doing something yesterday and I jumped into "well, I can do a run/walk thing after school but before my class." That put pressure on me. I was hungry after school so I ate my lunch but then there really wasn't time for run so I ended up not doing anything. I should have just thrown my shoes on and gone for a little walk. But no, I immediately put pressure on myself. That's what I have to stop. But how?? I'm not sure I know how.....

In other news, I saw the school calendar for next year. I get 2 weeks off in October, 3 weeks off in December, 2 weeks off in March - Sweet!!!! I'm going like this teaching thing. We are thinking about going to Colorado in December to check out a place and buy a house. I want to go in the winter, though January or February would be better, and get a feel of what it's like then. I wonder if there's a Westgate we could stay at?? I'll have to check into that.

Anyway, those are the things in my head. Only 3 more days of summer school and then that's over. Yea!!! I'm hoping to get back into working out when it ends. I'm also thinking about joining a club for marathon training. Both times I did the marathon I joined a club, and though I'm not a club type person it worked. So I'm thinking about it.

Okay, I'm off to the dog park.

08 July 2009

Typical

Just a mere 5 days ago I decide to try and regain some balance in my life. I had been applying so much pressure to myself over every little detail of my life that nothing was going right. I decide to let up and go easy on myself. Great idea, sounds like a plan. But I'm already starting to get antsy. I haven't 'worked out' in about 2 weeks and I really want to now. I take the dogs to the dog park every morning and walk around it a few times but that's not enough. I just don't have time to fit a workout in at this point. Actually, maybe I do. Today I have 3 hours between summer school and my class. I was going to work on a project but I could at least go for a walk. Maybe I'll do that. I'll throw my running shoes in the car and take a walk. It doesn't have to be long or fast just some movement. No pressure though. If something comes up and I don't have time that's okay, it's just an idea.

This is the last week of summer school and then I get 2 weeks off before real school starts. I have a long list of things I need to get done in that 2 weeks including getting my classroom all set up. I figure I'll go in to school a couple of days a week to do that. Wow!!! So I have no problem getting up in front of a class and talking, even making mistakes - which I do a lot!! There are a couple of students in my class though who really have public speaking anxiety. I wonder how they teach a class!!! I really do. There is also a man in our class who slightly slurs his words. That drives me crazy. In Hawaii if you speak Pidgin you don't pronounce everything clearly, that's just the nature of Pidgin. Well, when people are raised on Pidgin they tend to slur when they speak proper English. It drives me crazy. I could not imagine sitting through an entire class with this person as the teacher. Yikes.

Okay, enough babbling, I'm off to the dog park.

07 July 2009

Is it over yet??

The Michael Jackson nonsense that is. From the coverage he's receiving you would think he conquered world peace. Or ended racism, oh wait, he was practically racist himself wanting to be white and all. Maybe he ended the violence in the middle east. No, the only middle east country he went to was Dubai - the really, really, really, rich place. Oh wait, I know what he did, he molested children, that's reason to celebrate.

Why is it that when people die all the bad things they did seem to just fade away? Yes, Michael Jackson was an incredible music talent, but that's no reason to treat him like the second coming. People get a grip. I have seen more news coverage of his life and death then anything in recent memory. Good thing that whole pesky Iraq situation is cleared up. And the folks in Iran settled their election issues. And that whole genocide mess in Darfur is cleared up. My god people. Wake up and smell the coffee. Michael Jackson was an extremely talented individual with serious problems -- look what he did to his face!!!! That is not the sign of a mentally healthy person. Get over it a move on. I'm only glad I'm busy all day and will miss the circus that will be going on in Staples center. I can not believe it's being broadcast on TV. But then no one ever said the American public was intelligent......

The key to change is awareness

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