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Showing posts from November 1, 2009

Trying to work it out

So here's the deal.  For the last few months I've been on this energy roller coaster.  One week I'm fine and have lots of energy, the next week I'm exhausted.  I've tried to tie to something. Anything.  It's not my period, though that adds to it.  It doesn't seem to be my workload, that remains fairly constant but I do know that it is exhausting work.  The only thing I can think it is is my food.  When I'm feeling good and have lots of energy I tend to forget to eat I get so busy.  Then the following week I'm tired and eating more regularly.  Then the following week I have lots of energy again.  It's the only pattern I can see.  So I've decided I should probably start tracking my food intake.  I have to be careful because I can get very obsessive about the numbers.  I'm trying to come up with a way so that won't happen. I read a blog the other day where the person was talking about how they limited their calories but not what they ea…

Connections not made

I've gone through a lot of mental stuff to get to the point where I am now. I have reached a point where I don't hate my body, I would still love to lose a couple of pounds but it don't agonize over it.  I have worked myself into a position where healthy food is usually better then any junk food offered.  I am able to eat a reasonable amount and not stuff myself till I'm sick.  It's been a painful, often frustrating, journey but I feel like I've come out the other side of a dark tunnel.  I'm not obsessed with numbers, either calories or on the scale.  I'm not beating myself up over missed workouts but doing the best I can and realizing that's enough for now.  I've done a lot of soul searching to understand things about myself and why things are they way they are.  So when I see someone harming themselves and not making the connections I want to scream from the rooftops STOP IT!!  DON'T YOU SEE YOU ARE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!!!  But I don'…