06 November 2009

Trying to work it out

So here's the deal.  For the last few months I've been on this energy roller coaster.  One week I'm fine and have lots of energy, the next week I'm exhausted.  I've tried to tie to something. Anything.  It's not my period, though that adds to it.  It doesn't seem to be my workload, that remains fairly constant but I do know that it is exhausting work.  The only thing I can think it is is my food.  When I'm feeling good and have lots of energy I tend to forget to eat I get so busy.  Then the following week I'm tired and eating more regularly.  Then the following week I have lots of energy again.  It's the only pattern I can see.  So I've decided I should probably start tracking my food intake.  I have to be careful because I can get very obsessive about the numbers.  I'm trying to come up with a way so that won't happen. I read a blog the other day where the person was talking about how they limited their calories but not what they eat.  Gradually, as they lost weight, their eating naturally changed towards healthier food.  This makes perfect sense and I think that's the approach I'm going to take.  I'll set my calorie intake at a certain level but not get crazy over what it is I eat.  I think that's one of the best ways to go.  Or I could just check into orlando vacations and drink mai tai on the beach :)

01 November 2009

Connections not made

I've gone through a lot of mental stuff to get to the point where I am now. I have reached a point where I don't hate my body, I would still love to lose a couple of pounds but it don't agonize over it.  I have worked myself into a position where healthy food is usually better then any junk food offered.  I am able to eat a reasonable amount and not stuff myself till I'm sick.  It's been a painful, often frustrating, journey but I feel like I've come out the other side of a dark tunnel.  I'm not obsessed with numbers, either calories or on the scale.  I'm not beating myself up over missed workouts but doing the best I can and realizing that's enough for now.  I've done a lot of soul searching to understand things about myself and why things are they way they are.  So when I see someone harming themselves and not making the connections I want to scream from the rooftops STOP IT!!  DON'T YOU SEE YOU ARE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!!!  But I don't feel it's my place.  Lord knows I'm no expert in just about anything but having been through what I've been through I can see it in other people.  I know someone who lost a lot of weight, a lot!!  In the past 2 years they have regained it all back and more.  It happens I get it.  But they are now suffering from all sorts of ailments, hating themselves, and trying all kinds of crazy things to lose weight.  One thing they have is migraines.  Apparently they used to get them a lot, then lost all the weight and they went away.  Now they are back with a vengenance.  Wow, I can see the connection.  Clearly it's something in their diet if they didn't have them when they were eating healthy.  Or it's from lack of exercise.  All these things are connected yet people in it refuse to see it. I wish I could help them.  I've tried to make gentle suggestions but they are not receptive.  I feel so bad and wish I had all the answers.....

Social media holiday

I've decided to take a break from social media. I spend far, far too much time just scrolling through Facebook. Yes, I get a lot of in...