26 December 2009

One step up and two steps back.....

If you look at my sidebar over there you will see that I gained two pounds this week.  I'm not upset about that for a couple of reasons.  First, I've eaten a lot of crap this week - that has to be the thing I hate about Christmas time, all the freaking goodies.  What exactly does celebrating Christmas have to do with eating sweets???  Second, I have not been drinking enough water.  I just haven't.  When I'm at school I keep a cup with ice water on my table and as I talk or help the kids I drink from it.  Over the course of a day I will drink two of those - about 90 ozs. When I'm at home I keep a water bottle handy but I just don't drink from it much.  Thirdly is the distinct lack of activity.  I've been trying to workout but my heart just has not been in it.  Some of that has to do with the upcoming move.  When I feel overwhelmed, which I do, or have too much to do, which I do, I tend to do nothing.  I go into a state where it's hard to do anything.  That's where I'm at right now.  I'm trying to fight it, usually by making small progress on a large project I can overcome the inertia, but it's not working this time.  Probably because I'm buying a house and it scares the bejeezus out of me.  This time it's a larger battle. 

But fear not for I have a plan.  For the goodies, I'm done with them.  I had some last night that just made me sick to my stomach so that's it, I'm done.  I just need to keep in mind how horrible they made me feel.  For the water, I'm going to buy a cup like I have at school and keep it with me, full, at all times and drink like there's no tomorrow.  I know that will help me lose weight and feel better so it's a priority.  Finally, I'm going to move.  I'm heading out on a walk this morning, I'm going to begin to tackle the studio after that, tomorrow we switch bird cages and begin to take down the aviary. Every day I'm going to have an area that I'm going to work on, that should keep me busy and focused on the details and not the big picture - which obviously paralyzes me.  Also, Monday I start journeling all my food.  I got my cool new journal, I've got it set up, I'm recording the values for the food I eat all the time so I don't have to look them up constantly, I am ready. 

So, even though I am up 2 lbs this week, I will not stay there.  Next Saturday I will be down 2 lbs, or 4 lbs from where I am now.  I'm ready to do battle. 

24 December 2009

As quickly as I lost it, it's back

After my post last night about my new food journal, I got to thinking. I really felt like working out in the morning but the thought of running just didn't sit with me. I realized that the last few times I ran the bad parts far outweighed the good parts. That feeling of euphoria at having run was completely overshadowed by the sore knee and the aching back and the ankle that has this weird pain and the big toe that hurts, you get the idea. So even though I felt like doing something I really did not feel like running. So I said to myself, Self, you don't have to run. No one is holding a gun to your head saying run. Maybe I kept jumping in too fast with the running and the circuit training with Jillian. Maybe, because of my inconsistency, I would try to pick up where I left off and I was actually doing my body a disservice. Maybe if I started slower and worked on doing something consistently then I could build up to running and working out with Jillian. Hmmmm... makes sense when you think about it. I was running consistently for a couple of weeks and worked up to a certain level and speed. I then didn't run for 2 weeks, ran once or twice for a week or so, then expected to start up right where I left off all those weeks ago???? Crazy!!! So I wanted to workout this morning but I did not want to run so I walked. I took off at a good clip listening to my iPod and I walked. And walked. And walked. And walked. I ended up walking 5 miles, farther then I've run in months, and felt fantastic. I even jogged a little at the end. Woo Hoo!!! So there it is, it's not that I didn't feel like working out it's that I didn't feel like running and for some reason I thought I had to. So I've scaled it back. I'm going to walk everyday until I feel ready to run again. I'm also going to do the elliptical and some weights, but nothing crazy. If I do it consistently for a couple of weeks in no time at all I'll be wanting to run and do Jillian, but I need to build up to that and not just jump in. Wow, I'm back and it feels good.

23 December 2009

Back to basics

As generally happens, as soon as I give up - throw my hands in the air and admit defeat - things start to come back to me. I woke this morning slightly more motivated then I was yesterday. I had decided to buy a book that was recommended by another blogger and so off to the bookstore I went. I ended up not finding the book I wanted but I found a great food tracker. When I was doing WW I really, really liked the tracker that they sell. The problem with it is that there is only a column for points. If you're not doing WW it's not very useful. I've tried a number of times to make it work but it just didn't cut it for me. Anyway in looking around the bookstore I came across a food tracker that is very similar to the WW one but has room for calories, fat, carbs, water, supplements, activity, etc. It's perfect for me. At least I think so. One of the things that I know generally works for me is writing down my food, but I can't just write it anywhere - I'm weird that way. This should solve that problem.

So I'm feeling a little motivated and like I'm coming back to myself. Tomorrow morning I run and Monday I start tracking every bite I eat. I would really like to do the 10k on New Year's Day but I feel like I'm not ready for it. Maybe I will try and run 10k tomorrow. We will see. Now, bed time is rapidly approaching.

22 December 2009

I surrender

I still have zero motivation or desire to do anything. I just don't feel like it. So I'm not. I fought it all day yesterday and felt like crap all day. I'm done. I'm not going to force myself to do things I just don't feel like doing, that's the road to injury and accidents. So I'm going to do what I feel like doing, which in this case is not running. I'm tired of fighting myself and beating myself up over it. Besides, I know myself well enough to know that in a few hours or a day or so I'll be wanting to workout and run and that's what I want to feel. So that's it,I'm done. For now anyway.

21 December 2009

Where is my mojo??

I have so many things to do and absolutely no motivation. I have the time and opportunity to do the things I've been wanting to do for months yet I can not seem to get moving on them. Part of it is the weather. It's been cold and rainy here for the past two days and that makes me do a whole lot of this:

Would you look at that? Everyone is passed out!!! It was that kind of day. Today's a little better but I still have zero motivation or desire to do the things I need and want to do. The things aren't that hard either. It's not like I'm looking for jobs in Philadelphia So it's time to fake it. I have a schedule of sorts and I'm just going to follow it. No thinking or changing my mind, just do it. Sometimes if I follow a schedule things will start to click into place. That's what I'm hoping for now. We shall see. So I'm off, the first thing on my schedule is a run.

20 December 2009

Day 2

Yesterday did not go as well as planned but I think it was okay. I had to chaperon a dance last night and I knew the food choices would not be good. I planned for it and was willing to accept a certain amount of leeway in my eating. What I did not know about and did not plan for was the sundae bar. Hello!!! I am weak in the face of macadamia nut ice cream, M&M's and gummy worms!!! I did indulge. I was also did not get to bed until midnight so it is possible most of what I ate got burned off. I ended up consuming about 2250 but I did run in the morning and walk around for 6 hours last night. So I'm calling the day a wash and moving on with my life.

One thing that happened yesterday that really got me motivated (though not motivated enough to pass up the sundae bar) was my clothes. When I went to dress for this dance, which was a little fancy, I realized none of my really nice clothes fit me. I have some really nice pants and dresses but none of them fit. And it's not by a lot, just 5-10 lbs and they will fit again. So that is my goal, to fit into my nice clothes again. I can totally do it. But right now I think I need to lie down. I was up until midnight last night. That is waaaaaay past my bedtime.

Monsoon season has arrived

and we got our first rain yesterday. Actually, it's still raining a little this morning. It wasn't a lot of rain, but it was rain....