I love that song in my previous post. The video is pretty good too. I never heard of Michael Franti until this song but he's pretty good. I'll have to put some of his stuff on my iPod......
I absolutely hate these stupid comments I'm getting lately. The spammers have apparently stopped using automated systems because they can't get through the captcha. So now they seem to pay real people to leave stupid comments. I am really tired of it and considering turning comments off completely. You can tell these people have scripts that they copy because I got a comment saying that once I have the baby I'll have more energy. Huh?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Clearly that person doesn't read my blog at all...
For the last couple of weeks I've felt terribly bloated. My stomach has felt huge and my pants are getting hard to button. I thought I was gaining weight but I'm not, I'm the same weight I was before Christmas break and my clothes fit fine then. So I've been trying to figure out why I'm feel so bloated and my stomach so extended.
In a seemingly unrelated matter, a couple of months ago I stopped using artificial sweetener. I only ever used it in my morning coffee and I only have one cup, but I didn't like using it so I stopped. I've really gotten off anything with artificial sweetener in it. I would rather have something with real sugar and just have a little bit. Anyway, for some reason that I do not remember I started using sweetener again during my Christmas break. Hmm..... connection????
So, with absolutely no proof and only anecdotal evidence to go on, I stopped using sweetener. Luckily quitting artificial sweetener is easier then say drug rehab and after only 2 days I feel better already. Coincidence?????? I think not....
My school starts next week. It's time to begin writing the thesis. That means that I have to spend some time on the computer because my thesis involves teaching science in high school and Second Life. I have got to get intimately familiar with Second Life. As fun as it sounds I'm not looking forward to spending hours on the computer. But I think after I finish my master's I'm going to go right into this PhD program. Once I get involved in writing my master's thesis I would like to just continue on and get the PhD out of the way. That way I'm done and won't be thinking about what more schooling I can take. Also, I'll then be able to teach anywhere at all, secondary school, college, anywhere and that thought really appeals to me.
Okay, enough of this nonsense....I'm going to go do something...not sure what, but something....
20 January 2010
So I've been really careful for the past few days about the words I use when I talk to myself (and yes, I talk to myself!!). I've been telling myself that I want to get up and go for a run in the morning because it makes me feel better and I have an easier time with the kids. It works every time. I love it. I've also been working on the food things. I tell myself I don't like really sweet stuff and I just don't want some things. It's really working pretty well. I have to be very vigilant because it's easy to fall back into the I should mode..... there lies failure for sure. Too bad this method doesn't work as a wrinkle remover. I would love to thing myself younger looking :)
18 January 2010
Seriously. Me....... I'm cooking. I came across a website that had some good recipes that appeared to be simple. The website is the board for the preservation of healthy Italian eating.....whatever, click here and you'll go there. They are offering a free ebook with some really healthy recipes and great meal ideas.
Today is a holiday and I'm looking for some good lunches. My lunch has to be easy to eat, so sandwiches work great. The thing is unless I make a big ole Subway type sandwich, just a sandwich is not enough. Plus, I really like soup and sandwich. Hot soup fills you up for little calories. But canned soup is expensive and full of sodium which I don't like. So using some recipes from that website I decided to cook up some things today to have for lunch the rest of the week.
I'm trying to break my thinking from the mold of "should", I should workout, I should eat healthy, I should, I should, I should,..... I'm trying to get into the frame of mind where I do things because I want to. For example, yesterday I didn't want to run, I wanted to walk my dogs. So I did. For 2 1/2 hours. Hello!! See, when I'm doing something I want to do I do it. That is much better then forcing myself into a 30 minute run. This morning I feel like running so that's what I'm going to do.
I've been trying to do the same thing with the eating. Instead of beating myself up over what I should be eating, I'm focusing on what I want to eat. My menu yesterday looked like this:
Small piece of cake
Both last night and the night before over half of my dinner plate was taken up with green salad. I love salads but when I feel like I have to eat it I don't want to. I've also taken to using a smaller plate, except for my salads. I don't know what kind of plate it is but it's considerably smaller than our dinner plates. I put some food on there and it looks like a lot. So progress, slowly but progress. I'm trying to turn my body into a fat burner by eating healthier and smaller amounts. We'll see what happens...
17 January 2010
Yesterday afternoon we went to a pub for lunch. We weren't planning on it but that's the way things worked out. As I was sitting in the pub, drinking a beer, with my new found freedoms from yesterdays revelations I was watching the people at the bar. There was this one woman who was fairly young, sipping a beer and chatting with the other folks at the bar. Clearly she was a regular because everyone knew her. As I watched her I flashed on my younger days. Back then, when I thought I had a weight problem but didn't, I didn't think a lot about food. I didn't. I didn't constantly obsess about it; when is my next meal, what am I going to eat, how long until I eat. None of that stuff would enter my head. I would get up in the morning, grab something- usually toast and peanut butter - and head out to work. After working for a few hours I would go grab some lunch. Then go home at night and throw some dinner together. Before that when I was still single, we would go to the local bar after work, have a drink or two and have dinner with the happy hour food. I rarely had lots of food in the house so if I was hungry it involved a trip out. Now I know this is not the healthiest way to eat but the point is that I didn't obsess about food at all. I ate when it was around, if it wasn't I didn't eat. I did not like candy at all and rarely had sweets. And I was skinny. Somewhere along the line my thinking short-circuited and food became an obsession. Along with a food obsession comes an obsession with weight loss products. So I'm going to try and shake the obsession. Hunger is not going to kill me - not for a long, long time. I'm going to try and lose my attitude of viewing food as good or bad. It just is. It is the fuel that my body runs on - that's all. It can not make me feel better and it has no power over me at all. I'm going to try and return to normal.
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