03 July 2010


That's what I feel like, I'm at a crossroads. There is 3 more weeks of vacation left. I have a lot to do in terms of prep and thesis work. I have not lost any weight this summer, in fact I've gained. I'm fairly sure this is due to my general lack of activity. As a teacher I'm on my feet most of the day moving around. Doing nothing extra I average about 12,000 steps in a normal teaching day. On a day at home doing nothing extra? 6,000. Clearly I'm not moving enough. Even with my runs and workouts it's just not enough. So what to do? I could just accept it and stop fighting and shop for some bigger clothes. Or I could spend the next 3 weeks doing battle. I'm torn. Both have their appeal.

Stopping the fight is appealing because I've been fighting this battle for most of my adult life and I'm tired. Tired of thinking about food. Tired of thinking about working out. Tired. So the thought of giving in and just buying some larger clothes has its appeal. But where does it end?

On the other hand, I have 3 weeks to kick up the fight. I could finally start doing the workouts I planned for at the beginning of summer. I could work hard at being active and stop sleeping on the couch in the middle of the afternoon. I could at least try to not be as big as a house when I go back. This has it's appeal because it will build up my stamina and endurance for returning to teaching, where I won't be able to nap from 12-1 every day.

So what to do? Giving in is the easy way. I think I'm going to kick up the fight. I'm going to plan my days - starting tomorrow - and stick to a schedule. No sitting in front of the computer for 3 hours like I did just now. No afternoon naps unless I'm exhausted and have completed everything for the day.

Yup, I'm not going to go down without a fight. Think I can lose 10 lbs in 3 weeks? I do......

02 July 2010

It's getting better all the time....

Seriously, it is the little things. I went for my run today, I skipped yesterday because of the rain :(. I was to do 5/1 just like I did on Tuesday. On Tuesday I ran for 43ish minutes and covered 2.71 miles. Today I decided I needed to step it up a little, so on the 2nd and 3rd intervals I tried a quicker turn over. I know that the key to running fast is to move your feet quicker not take longer steps. So I picked up the turn-over a notch. By interval 4 - which is uphill - I was slowing down so I took that one easy, but interval 5 I kicked it up again. The results??? I ran for 41:47 mins, that's almost 1:30 less running time, and I covered 2.77 miles - that's .06 miles further. Yes, I know it's not record breaking but it sure makes me feel good. Not only did I kick it up a notch today, but it showed in the numbers. I seriously could not have pushed harder unless I've taken something like hgh supplements. I'm very, very pleased with myself and feel like a rock star. Now, off to an interview????

01 July 2010

Stop Stressing

I came to the conclusion a while ago that it seems I like to worry. For a long time there were lots and lots of things to worry about and it seems I may have gotten into the habit of worrying. I think it's one of my huge problems and it's a cycle I'm working hard on breaking.

Along the same lines, I stress over stuff a lot. I mean A LOT. I am working on my thesis and I'm spending so much time stressing over it that I've basically got nothing but an outline done. I want to get things well organized for the next school year, yet I've spent so much time stressing over it I'm not as far along as I'd hoped to be.

Also, I have it firmly embedded in my head that I HAVE to work out every morning. If I don't work out in the morning the day is a complete and total loss. I may as well eat junk food all day.

The other day my feelings of stress and worry reached a peak. I was trying to work on my thesis and felt like a snack. I had no snacks in the house so I decided to walk to the store and get some. I did. I got popcorn, cookies and pretzels. I proceeded to eat about 1/2 the bag of popcorn and a whole bunch of cookies. Did I get any of my thesis done? Not much. Yesterday I was not going to eat in the morning but I ended up chasing the neighbors dogs around after they got out. When I finally got them in the house - their house, not mine - I came home and was pissed off and angry over at the neighbors for putting me in this position. They knew that one of the dogs could get out and they did nothing to fix the problem. This resulted in both of them getting out and me having to chase them down. Yes, I could have let them go but I really would have felt horrible then. So instead of dealing with the anger I proceeded to polish off the popcorn and cookies. I felt like crap for the rest of the day. The good points of this story? I realized what I did, not at the time I was stuffing my face but afterward. It's much better than asking, why did I do that???

So today, I'm going to face my demons. I'm going to start dealing with this stuff head on. I'm going to make a to-do list of things to accomplish today. Things along the lines of my thesis, my lesson plans and my workouts. I'm scheduled to run today but it's pouring rain. I'm going to eat some breakfast - because I'm hungry - then see what happens with the weather. If I can't get a run in I'll do something else in a little while. Instead of stressing and worrying and avoiding, I'm going to face these things head on and handle them.

30 June 2010

Intuitive Eating

This is all the rage. If you cruise the web or blogs at all you will run across this topic. Everyone's doing it. I think the idea is sound. I think diets in general force you into an unnatural way of eating; low-carb, no-carb, low-fat, every 3-4 hours, etc. I always think back to our cavemen ancestors. Just imagine, you have killed a wooly mammoth. You eat until you can't move. You wake up the next morning and eat some more. This goes on for a couple of days until the beast is gone. Then what? You may go a day or two without eating or eating only berries, until you kill something else. This is the way humans were meant to eat. But I think there is a large problem with intuitive eating because you have to have a healthy relationship with food in order for this to work. If I turn to food every time I'm upset it's not going to work for me until I deal with my upset issues. You have to clear up the underlying issues before you can trust your intuition to eat right. Also, you have to focus on whole, natural foods. You can't let your intuition guide you to junk food, even if it's only a little. So I think this is a good idea but I think it has some details that need to be worked out first.

Having said all that, I tried to think back on when I was my healthiest and eating the best. I found a couple times in my life when that happened and the underlying theme on all those times is that I was happy. I was doing what I wanted to do and I was really enjoying life. I then sat and looked at then vs now. I have everything I want. I have a job teaching, which I love. I work at a great school with very few of the problems other schools have. I actually bought a house that I absolutely love. I can't think of anything that's missing except the health part. I want to run races and feel like I did then. I think I'm in a position to make that happen now. I need to focus my energy on my eating and get back to the place where healthy eating is more appealing then junk food. I'm getting there but I still have a little ways to go. It's kind of like constructing steel buildings you have to build a good foundation - my happiness - in order to fill in the details - the racing. So I'm on my way. Today I'm not eating for a few hours to get back into that habit..... Now, it's time to work out.

29 June 2010

Phase II

Today I began phase II of my running. I spent the last 3 weeks just getting into the habit of running again. I have not run far or fast but I have run 2-4 times a week for the last 3 weeks. That was my goal and I exceeded my own expectations. Yeah!!!
Now I begin to get a little more serious. I have a program that will take me from running 5/1 intervals to running a solid 30 minutes. It will take 8 weeks. I am looking forward to it. It is training for a 5k, theoretically I should be running 5k in that 30 minutes. So I thought I should know where I'm starting at. For the last 3 weeks I have not tracked distance at all - not even a little. So I know how far I've been running in blocks but not in miles. Today I set out with my cool new EVO and the Runkeeper app. I like it because it is simple but shows me just what I want to know, how far did I run, how long did it take me, and what was my pace. Simple. It's like the information you would get off a treadmill only you are out in the fresh air. Cool. There is also a map you can look at if you want to. So I started up Runkeeper and headed out. This is Day 1 of my new program and it begins exactly where the other program left off, so I did 5 min run/1 min walk 5 times. It was tough but I got through it. How far did I go?? 2.71 miles. How long did it take me? 43.08 minutes. What was my pace? 15:544 min/mi. I was underwhelmed but I do need to add a little detail. I do a warm-up of ~6 minutes and I did a cool down of ~5 minutes. I also walked for 5 minutes - slow- during the walk intervals . But I stopped and thought about how far I've come. When I started 3 weeks ago I couldn't run for 2 minutes without wanting to die. I also had to fight myself out the door every morning - I didn't want to go. Now I can run for 5 minutes straight and while some intervals are harder than others, I get them all done. I don't have to force myself out the door - it has become a habit. I love it. So everything I was after I have achieved now it is time to build on that success and get better.

28 June 2010

Monday randomness

First, why does G**gle suddenly hate me? I have to sign into blogger every time I want to post, it used to let me stay signed in but not anymore. Also, every time I try to search for something G**gle accuses me of not being human. It's really pissing me off. I've taken to using Bing for my searches - it's just as good. Anyway, it's really ticking me off. Maybe it's time to move away from G**gle completely.

Yesterday was an interesting day. Hubby got up early so we took both the dogs for a nice long walk. Then I cleaned the bird room. Scrubbed and power-washed cages, scrubbed the floors, and generally made the place look really nice (for about 10 minutes). Then we finished the fence on the other side. By then I was done. Completely and totally done. I went in, showered and relaxed for a while. Then we went to the neighbors baptism party. Then it was back to the couch for me. So the day ended up being incredibly busy and physical in the morning and relaxing and restful in the afternoon. Interesting.....

Today I begin my 8-week to a 5-k running program. This one only has me running 3 days a week so I'm going to have to pick up the workouts on the other days. I think I can do that now. Actually, I'm thinking of having the "long" run day fall on Saturday. That means I can either run Monday, Wednesday and Saturdays with other types of workouts the other days. Or I can shift the workouts to Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays. I think that's what I'm going to do. So I'll start today with another workout which I will figure out shortly.

Okay, that's done. Today I need to get some work done on my thesis. Since I've been pretty active the last couple of day what with building fences and all....I think after my workout today will be a desk day. I have to formulate a plan of attack and a clear, definitive goal for today. I have 4 weeks until school starts and 1 week until the classes at HPU pick up again. I have made zero progress...it is time to kick my butt into gear. So, today's plan: workout, shower,breakfast, work on thesis for 2 hours, lunch, work on lesson plans for 2 hours, walk dogs, work on thesis some more. The goal for today: have 3 pages of the lit review written and skim the book.

Okay, time to get going.

Forward progress

One of the many, many things I love about AltShift is the mental part. We don't stop and start the program, we deviate and then get b...