24 July 2010

Healing

Thursday was not fun at all, that was the day I got the laser surgery on my gums.  Not. Good.  Yesterday was much better though still not great.  My gums were still swollen and the whole front of my upper jaw felt weird.  This morning things feel much, much better.  I have some pain up in my jaw near my nose, but considering the state that spot was in I'm not surprised.  But feeling much better today.  I discovered that it is very hard to get enough food when you are only eating soft foods.  Yesterday I ate:  2 scrambled eggs with baked hash brown,  banana with peanut butter,  fruit smoothie,  can of chicken noodle soup, mashed potatoes with sour cream and a small piece of fish.  I'm hoping I can get a little more nutrition today.  I can not have anything hard or crunchy or anything that might get caught in the gums - like stringy meat.  I also can not chew or bite on the front part where the damage is the worst.  But I'm thinking I could have a sandwich on squishy white bread and cut into bite size pieces so I don't have to bite it.  I can chew on the back left side.  So today should be a little better. The worst part is no raw vegetables.  I love my vegetables.  Hubby had a salad last night and it killed me not to be able to have some.  Oh well, it's only for a couple of days. 

So this is my last free weekend.  Waaaaa!!!  I can not believe that 7 weeks has passed already.  It was an interesting 7 weeks. I began by saying that I was going to workout a lot, lose a ton of weight, get fit and toned.  Then life hit.  I was working on things and it was hot, hot, hot.... Most days there was no way I was going to workout in the middle of the day.  It was humid and sweltering.  No. Way.  So that fell by the wayside.  Then the scale began climbing. Climbing into numbers I haven't seen in years.  Then I started to get a little crazy.  Luckily I came to my senses, let go of all the insanity and the scale is exactly where I started my vacation at.  Not what I had hoped for but clearly better then the direction I was heading in.  What have I learned from this little adventure?  Well, I need to not get crazy about the numbers - which I do.  I need to eat right and workout for the right reasons - namely, for my health and well-being and not for some number on a scale.  And I need to keep my perspective at all times.  Just because I want to weigh 170lbs doesn't mean I need to starve myself or workout till I drop.  I found that by eating sensibly, doing a reasonable workout, and then keeping busy all day is much better for me.  I don't get exhausted.  I don't get starved.  I have energy and feel good.  So, although it was not the vacation I planned it was a very good learning experience and that makes it worth it. 

22 July 2010

I'm down

Today I had laser surgery on my gums. Just the upper ones but that was enough. It actually wasn't too terribly horrible. The periodontist numbed my entire upper mouth, the roof all the way up to my nose. Numb...numb....numb He then goes through with a laser and removes all the bad tissue. Next he goes through and cleans my teeth below the gumline. Finally he goes through with the laser again which cause the gums to clot and seal to the teeth. This procedure replaces the old one of cutting the gums, pulling them back and cleaning the teeth, then sewing the gums back in place. This is much less painful, less invasive, and less expensive. It also promotes bone growth in areas where the bone has deteriorated. It really wasn't as bad as it sounds. The worst part was the smell of burning flesh. Yuck!!! For the next 7-10 days though my diet is severely restricted. I can't eat anything hard or crunchy. Basically nothing that requires me to put pressure on my upper teeth. I can eat anything that can be put in a smoothie or smashed up. Yum!!! I'll tell you what though, if my teeth get fixed it's totally worth it. Two of my teeth have started to move because of deterioration and bone loss. So if it saves my teeth I am there...
There is some pain associated with this procedure. so I've been taking it easy this afternoon. Lots of lying on the couch and cruising online. I have nothing to read right now so I'm looking at Amazon books. One really good thing about this break has been the chance to get back into reading. I've read 5 books over the last 7 weeks. Sweet. I love reading.... Okay, I'm off to spoon feed myself more of my smoothie and watch some trash TV.

21 July 2010

Right, where was I

So almost a week ago I decided to stop this nonsense with trying to lose weight. I decided to just start loving myself right here, right now and forget all that other insanity. So, how's that working for me? Well, pretty darn good actually. In 7 days the scale has gone down 3.4 pounds. I feel great. I'm not focused on food and that is awesome. Other things are actually creeping into my pea brain. I haven't worked out in a couple of days but I've been pretty busy. I just try to keep moving during the day. My naps have shrunk from an hour to 20 minutes - and that is more normal for me. I'm sleeping pretty good at night if I could just stop grinding my teeth. I've actually been waking myself up. Not. Cool. So overall things are going well. I start back to school next week and I have things to get done so I'm off.

19 July 2010

Weight loss issues.....

So since my decision to let go of the idea of losing weight and to just be happy, I've felt awesome. I have not overeaten like I thought I would. I have not lost my mind around food at all. In fact, I have gone for long periods without eating. I have let hunger guide me. I have been more responsive to my body. And I have been happier knowing that I can eat when I'm hungry. I made my decision to stop this nonsense days ago, I just didn't post about it until yesterday. But I have felt so much happier and lighter since I made the decision that I think I may have hit on a problem with the 'weight loss' industry.

All my life I have bought into the notion that I was not good enough. I was too heavy, I needed to lose weight, my body wasn't very good. Well I've come to the realization that that is just nonsense. By buying into that bull I have set up a situation where food became the focus of my life. What I could/could not eat. When I could eat. Would anything be around that I could eat. How much can I eat. Did I eat too much/ too little/ too many carbs/ too much protein. STOP!!!! I spent so much time focusing on food no wonder I had a weight problem.

So what I've done is shifted my focus from food to all the other parts of my life. Instead of thinking that I should be working out or not eating, I sat yesterday and read my book. I really enjoyed it and I wasn't beating myself up for being lazy. I was doing something just something sedentary. It's amazing how much more I can get done when I am not beating myself up over something. As I stated over at Flo's Place, I have an amazing life. I'm in a fabulous house, I have a job I love, I have the greatest dogs in the world, and a husband who'll do anything for me. What the hell is there not to be ecstatically happy about? My weight??? A small piece of a very large puzzle. My dogs love me fat or skinny. My husband loves me fat or skinny. My birds love me fat or skinny. So why can't I love me fat or skinny? Well, I do.

I am now off to do somethings that I want to do.

18 July 2010

What you resist persists

For most of my adult life I have been struggling with my weight - and I do mean struggle. Since I've been 20 or so I've never been happy with my weight or how I look. I have dieted and exercised and done crazy, stupid things all in the name of trying to look good. What exactly has that gotten me? Not much. So I'm done. I'm tired of fighting and battling myself. Starting today, right here and right now, I'm going to accept my body just the way it is, I'm going to treat it with respect, and I'm going to get off this roller coaster. I am going to eat right because it makes me feel good. When I eat healthy I have the energy and stamina to live my life the way I want to. I'm going to work out to keep my heart healthy. I'm not going to try and run marathons or do crazy things, I'm just going to get some activity every day. I'm going to do things I like to do, walking, running, bike riding, etc. Whatever strikes my fancy. I'm tired of fighting my body, I'm tired of fighting with food, I'm just plain tired - so I'm done.....

Social media holiday

I've decided to take a break from social media. I spend far, far too much time just scrolling through Facebook. Yes, I get a lot of in...