21 October 2010

Day 1

Revelation time....looking at the world one day at a time is unbelievably liberating. not only do i not get crazed looking at the big picture, i don't freak out over the little things. for example, last night i didn't make it to workout due to a traffic accident (not mine). i didn't freak out at all i just told myself it's only one day. tonight i couldn't make my workout either due to having to get some work done. again, no freak out, just reminded myself that it is only one day and tomorrow will be different. it's great. i really love it.

for some reason my caps lock seems to not be working. hmmmm.... it's probably from the birds playing on the keyboard. they already pulled off a couple of keys. luckily they were ones i don't use much.

it's almost time for another colonoscopy. i hate doing them but my dad died of colon cancer so i have to. too bad i just can't use a colon cleanser instead of that stuff they make you drink. yuck.....

okay, time for big bang....

19 October 2010

Day 1 and Day 1 again

This whole one day at a time thing seems pretty cool. I got up at 4:30 yesterday telling myself that I'm just going to get up and run today. I ran. I then took every meal that way; it's just for this meal. I kept my options open in that I told myself I could rest/not workout/eat dessert later. I could not workout tonight. I could have dessert later, etc. It really works. I did the same thing again today. By focusing on right now and not thinking long term I have the desire and energy to do things. It is most definitely cool.

In other news, a friend of mine just had a baby. I find it incredible that anyone in their 40's would have a baby. Willingly. It is crazy. She was debating about breast feeding. I remember when I had my daughter it was the thing to bottle feed. No one breast fed then. Now many more people breast feed. In fact, some breast feed until the child is 2 or 3 years. I know that there is some really important stuff in breast milk, but 3 years old?? Anyway, I think she decided to breast feed. Good. That's the way things were meant to be.

That's all. I have to finish up Day 1 and get ready for Day 1 tomorrow :)

Something new every day....

I got some disturbing news tonight. Nothing overall that earth shattering but definitely a blow. I decided on a course of action that was really the only option and I thought I was dealing with it. So off I went to workout. I thought I was in a pretty good mood - all things considered - and was looking towards my workout. It began and slowly got more and more intense. As the intensity ramped up my thoughts go inward. I focus on what I'm doing and don't get involved in the class "banter" that goes on. Tonight as my thoughts turned in I realized I'm very, very upset about this whole thing. What I thought was dealing with it was actually just pushing it down. I'm mad about a couple of things and I was burying it. The harder I worked the more it started to come up. I seriously felt like one of those breakdowns on the Biggest Loser. At one point I got so choked up I had to stop and I was this close to throwing in the towel and going home. I didn't, but there were definitely times during the workout when I was phoning it in. I did finish and jetted out of there right away. I did not want to talk to anyone.

What I learned from this little adventure is that I hold things in my physical body. The stress I feel from this development settled right into my body. I have felt this before but never really made the connection. I have had bad news and quit half way through a workout because I just couldn't do it. Interesting how that works. You really do learn something new everyday.

In other news, my plan to focus on one day at a time seems to be working. I got up this morning and ran - woo hoo - and then focused my eating one meal at a time. I did not assume that I could make up for anything later. I thought to myself that I only control right now. I can not be sure what is going to happen later, I only have right now. It worked. I like not thinking ahead just focusing on the moment. Have to do that a little more. I also need to add my one a day vitamin to my routine.

17 October 2010

One Day at a time

I'm a big picture kind of person. I guess that's part of what makes me a good teacher; I can see the overall picture and then fill in the details from there. It's also part of why I'm such a conservative. I see the big picture - welfare is overall not a good thing - and I don't look at the details. This big picture attitude is great in many circumstances. It helps when trying to organize a project, I can look at what needs to be accomplished and see the steps along the way. It's also a curse. I see huge projects and cringe. I think about all the things that need to be done to reach a big goal and I feel overwhelmed. I think that's one of my big problems with my weight loss.

Every Sunday night I say to myself that I'm going to eat right and get all my workouts in for one week. I say this all the time and rarely succeed. It suddenly dawned on me tonight why I fail. I'm looking at too big a picture. I always plan for one week, then if something goes wrong it's like the whole week is shot. I need to narrow my focus and make my view smaller. So tonight I'm saying I'll eat right and get my workouts in tomorrow. That's all, just tomorrow. I practice setting the dogs up for success by creating tiny achievements for them, yet I set myself up for failure every week. I start out strong on Monday and by Wednesday I'm cruising the web looking for safe weight loss pills. I need to really stick with it so starting right now, it's one day at a time. And, to take it even further, I'm going to focus one meal and one workout at a time. I'll report back with my successes tomorrow.

The key to change is awareness

So I posted yesterday that I really had nothing to write about because things were going well and I just didn't have much to say. Scra...