13 November 2010

What I should be doing right now

is heading off to workout. But apparently I'm not. Okay, there's a legitimate story behind it though. At the beginning of fall break (around the end of September) I bought some new shoes. I found some Asics at Sears for a really good price and got them. They were not the Asics I usually use but mine run $100 and these were $35, I thought I could make them work. They were good for a while but eventually they started to bother my feet. They has no pronation type support so my left foot rolled inward too much. The side of my heel had been bothering me almost since I got the shoes but I thought it had to do with the amount of exercise I was doing and not the shoes. By last week my left heel was in agony. I would wake up with it hurting like hell and I was afraid I was getting plantar again. It took me about 3-4 days to realize that it might be the shoes, so I switched back to my old shoes. At first these did not seem to help at all, but after wearing them for a few days and all day yesterday I can definitely say things are on the mend. However, these shoes are old and worn out so being on my feet too long makes my feet really tired. So, my point? I need to get new shoes. In spite of the fact that I have $400 orthotics, I clearly still need to wear shoes that correct overpronation. I did workout on Thursday night and my heel only hurt a little bit but by the end of the workout the whole bottom of my feet were burning. It's like going barefoot for a long walk. So that's why I didn't workout this morning. Well, that and the fact that I felt like blogging. That is one of my goals today - get new shoes.

In other news, I start training for the May 1st marathon on Monday (another reason I need new shoes). I'm very excited about it. It's the first one and the first ones are always cool to be involved in. I have a training plan that will take me across the finish line. I probably won't break any records but it will get me there. One of my super secret dreams has always been to BQ. In my age bracket the Q time is 4:05. That means a pace of about 9:30. Definitely not doable this marathon but if I keep it up maybe...... Hey, everyone needs a dream right? Also, I want to do NY. It's in November but I really want to do it. Maybe in 2012. We shall see.

Meanwhile, Hubby has started smoking cigars. I'm not sure how I feel about it. He quit smoking cigarettes about 10 years ago, but this past 4 months he's started smoking cigars. I'm not sure exactly what he's smoking, sometimes it smells like peach cigars, other times it just smells regular. Who knows. Right now he smokes maybe one a day, in the evenings after dinner. I just hope it doesn't become more frequent because then I will have to say something.

11 November 2010

The first step is the hardest

So after some blogging earlier and not feeling like working out at all, I dragged my sorry ass out the door. I convinced myself to go for a walk instead of a run and I started out like I was walking through a park - slow and casual. As I traveled on I was thinking about all kinds of things but mainly the way I feel and am not happy about it. I had decided to walk a long way, a long, long way...but as I was walking I was trying to convince myself to cut it short. I was whining (in my head) about the pain in my left heel, the pain in my back, my creaky knees....whatever.....But I kept going and as I kept moving something started to happen. I started to walk a little faster. Stand up a little taller. Suck my stomach in a little bit more. I started to feel good. When I got home I was starving and sat and read a running magazine as I ate. As I thought about it I realized that I need to focus on a goal. In a very schizo kind of way, I need to have a big goal to work towards while at the same time focusing on the day and not the big picture.

At least I'm not alone

One of the things I really love about blogs and the whole blogging community, and it's also what I loved about Weight Watchers, is that you learn very quickly you are not alone. When things are happening to you it is so easy to feel like you are the only person that ever felt this. Well, by reading blogs and going to meetings you learn that is sooooo not true. Not only has someone else felt or experienced this, they got through it. And that is what makes this whole blogging thing so very powerful to me.

Recently I have really been struggling and it's making me crazy. Well reading other bloggers and their struggles really, really helps me. One blogger has gained back over 50 lbs. Another is back where they started from. Another one is even higher than they started at. While I feel for these folks and hope they get back on track, it helps me keep things in perspective. When I feel that I'm the only one having these problems, I want to throw my hands in the air and say screw it all. By hearing that others are having similar problems I realize it's not just me.

So today is Vetern's Day and I have off. I'm going to use this day productively. I'm going to walk/run this morning - probably for an hour. I'm going to get my desk here cleaned up and useful. I'm going to go to Walgreen's because I need more printer ink. I actually really need a new printer. Maybe I should look into a xerox phaser 8560. But I digress. I'm going to get my attendance book completed and up to date (don't ask) and I'm going to start working on my planbook so that is up to date (again, don't ask). I would also like to come up with some nice, neat organized way to keep the mail at the kitchen table. When Hubby grabs the mail on his way down the driveway, that's where he throws it It ends up in a big messy pile all over the table. I'd like some way to at least make it look neat. Of course, that means I also have to train him to put it in a new place. Ugh..... Again, I digress. Later this afternoon we will walk the dogs and finally tonight I am working out. I have not worked out in almost 2 weeks and that is complete and utter bullshit. Part of the reason I'm struggling the way I am is due to my not working out. My tiredness is also due to that. I fell asleep on the couch twice last night. TWICE!!! WTF!!!!

So bottom line is that it is going to be a productive day. Oh yes it will be.

09 November 2010

What is going on?

I am seriously at a loss as to what is going on with me. I have zero motivation. My energy level is sinking fast. I eat everything that isn't nailed down. What the heck? I'm sitting here watching the Biggest Loser and I want to be like that. I want to push myself and work as hard as I can. Just a week ago I pushed myself just about as far as I could go. I walked home, after a 2 hour workout, on feet that were killing me. I felt awesome that day and for the days after. But then I lost it. I do know that part of the problem is our financial problems. Those weigh heavy on my mind. All. The. Time. But I need to shake that off and compartmentalize. Worry about money during money times; workout during workout times. I see the problem. When things weigh on me I retreat. Problems with money? I pull back and try to ignore it. That's what's going on. I don't want to face my money issues so I don't face anything. Wow. That's more true than even I realize. Huh.... I think I just had a breakthrough of some kind. So I just did something I've been avoiding - I checked the bank account. It's right where I thought it would be but was terrified I was wrong. So Hill #1 conquered.... I need to tackle another one...

Ugh!!!Blew another day

I have not done anything this week. For 2 days I was going to get up & run but i didn't. My eating is crazy and i feel totally out of control in a couple of different ways. I need to pull the reins in and i'm starting right now. No food today. I'm not eating breakfast and i may very well not eat lunch. I have not fasted, really fasted, for a long time. I think today is a good day to start. Also trying a mobile blogging app. Seems good.
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07 November 2010

How did I get here?

Seriously. How did I get where I am right now? How did this happen? It's a bunch of little tiny steps that landed me where I am. I'm talking about my health and fitness. Next Sunday I have a 5k race. My first 5k in a long, long time. Years even. Can I run 3.1 miles? I don't know. I honestly and truly do not know. I know I can walk 3 miles and that is a good thing, but run? Wow!!! But you know what? I'm going to do it. It's $25 and it's literally in my backyard. I'm going to do it. I'm printing the registration form right now and I'm mailing it tomorrow. I need to reclaim my energy and vitality. I need to get back on track and back in the groove. This week is only 4 work days. I have Thursday off for Veteran's Day so there is absolutely no excuses. I will workout every single day this week. I will run. A. Lot. I'm getting up at 4:30 tomorrow and running 3.1 miles. From there I will determine my next move. Run Tuesday or wait until Wednesday. I'm definitely running on Thursday. Then I will run Friday. Rest on Saturday. Race on Sunday. Awesome. Last year the women in my age group won in 46 minutes. I can do that :)

It was one of those days....

Yesterday was rainy and cold and one of those days where I just wanted to curl up on the couch with a book. So I did. I spent most of the morning reading and snoozing - it was awesome. I do not remember the last time I did that. We walked the dogs early in the afternoon and I spent the rest of the day just putzing around. I loved it.... Days like that are so rare lately. Today is dawning bright and sunny, looks to be gorgeous. We will walk the dogs soon and then lots to do today, namely cleaning bird cages and the house some. After a week of rain the living room is a disaster. When it's raining the dogs spend most of their time in the house and bring their toys. Today I will clean that all up. So I'm off to begin my day....

Forward progress

One of the many, many things I love about AltShift is the mental part. We don't stop and start the program, we deviate and then get b...