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Showing posts from May 22, 2011

Deep Introspection

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Or your basic navel gazing, whatever. But I have been indulging in it and I think it may be good.

I just took Bella to the beach. This is a Saturday morning thing that she loves and I love. I love the ocean, I love the beach, I love the sand and the salt and the water. I love it all and I don't get there near enough. So off we went to the beach. It was a windy day but I think that was a good thing, it blew all the cobwebs out.

Anyway, this beach we go to is one of the most popular in the state. It is also attached to a large park and right next to a cute, quaint little neighborhood that has a real nice 1.5 mile loop road. As you may have guessed, this place attracts a lot of people who workout. I saw runners, walkers, bikers, swimmers, windsurfers, stand-up paddlers, kayakers, the list goes on. I saw them on the beach, in the park, heading into and out of the neighborhood. I saw young, old, fit, unfit, serious exercisers, and casual tourists. I saw them all and notice…

Suck it up, Buttercup

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That's what it's time for.... After using excuses as crutches for far too long, it's time to suck it up and start doing what I need to do. This is true in many areas of my life. I have a horrible tendency to procrastinate. Just a couple of examples of how that's bad.


I have put off finishing my thesis only to discover that it will net me a substantial pay raise next year.  Now I have to work my ass off to get it done in time. Money is tight - really tight...but by putting off keeping on top of the checking account, I just cost us $26.00... bummer...The pile of mail on my desk is staggering.  It's not that hard to deal with and will take me 10 minutes tops. If I did it everyday it would take me 2-3 minutes at most.  Instead I let it pile up until I can't stand it anymore. Grading - I have put off grading a project for a month now. I have all kinds of "reasons" for not doing it but the bottom line is - I just didn't feel like it.  So now I am in …

Out of control

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That's what the last 4 days have been. Completely and totally out of control. I have been eating anything I want. I have been working a lot and not getting enough sleep. I have been kind of stumbling through. Why. Well, there some reasons for that. One is that I started my new, part-time job at Walgreen's. It's actually a pretty cool job and I think I will like working there. But the hours are 5-10 at night. When I have school during the day, that is hard. The good thing is school ends next week so I don't have to work both jobs much longer. Another reason is that I chose to lose control. Seriously. I made a conscious decision to not worry about what I eat or try to get any exercise until school ends. Wow, how bad is that?? Then the other day I ran across this:

Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. ~Don Wilder and Bill Rechin
Ummmm....wow!! That hit me. Hard. It got me to thinking. And I decided that yes, working until 10 at night is h…

Maybe it's time to start faking it....

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When I began this weight loss and health journey I started on the outside. I was sick of being fat and tired and was determined to make a change. I had read somewhere about how acting like you want to be will help you get there. So I started doing that. It was really little things like doing my nails and dyeing my hair. Nothing earth shattering, but little things to make me feel better. It helped. I felt good because I looked good and that inspired me to move and eat right. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think that was one of the reasons I was so successful. Also, I bought new clothes. Well, the clothes became a completely different obsession but that's for another post.

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time in large t-shirts and baggy shorts. I haven't dyed my hair in months, I haven't cut it in months either. I think it's time to kick it up a couple of notches. Tonight I sat and did my toenails. This weekend I'm going to get a haircut…

When intentions don't meet actions.....

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I want to workout. I want to get back into shape. I want to run again. Yet nothing is happening. Granted, I have a whole lot going on in my life right now; I'm busy with school; I start a 2nd job today; I've got the animals to take care of; my foot is seriously bothering me; and those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. I keep saying to myself that I've done this before I can do it again, yet I just cannot seem to make a consistent effort. Why? I read a blog of this girl who is my total hero right now. She works out, she has lost a ton of weight, she runs, bikes, does all kinds of things all the time and I read her and think that I used to be like that. Now?? Not so much. How do I get it back?? Do I force it? Do I workout even though it's the last thing I feel like, and just keep at it until I'm motivated again? Do I not workout and wait for the desire to hit me again? What??? What exactly do I do??? I'm so confused.

I'…