30 July 2011

Made it


After writing last nights post I was able to avoid eating anything else. That was good. My stomach felt horrible, still does this morning, so not eating was definitely a good thing.

On the agenda is a hike with Bella this morning - that should be interesting. Then home for some housework and some school work. Tomorrow I work during the day but I'm off by 4. Hubby and I actually get to spend a night at home together tonight. With him working this tennis tournament we haven't really seen each other in a week and won't see each other next week.

So the plan for today:

  • eat only whole foods
  • avoid processed foods
  • no counting calories just eat until satisfied

Should be pretty easy since I have lots to do today.  Okay, time to get ready.

Let's review class..


I made the discovery (again) that food adversely affects me. That my eating out of control makes me tired and causes me to gain a ton of weight. Doh!!! So I decided to eat no more than 1500 calories and to track everything I ate. I did that. Yesterday. I ate ~1600 calories, worked both at school and Walgreens and felt pretty good. Woke up this morning feeling pretty good, though a little tired. Stuck to my eating plan all day and was feeling pretty darn good. When I got home I got unbelievably tired. I lay down on the couch and fell asleep for about an hour. I basically felt like I had been run over with some honda mowers. Woke up hungry. I mean hungry. Had a giant slice of watermelon and that helped for about 10 minutes. Then I was hungry again. I gave in and had a cookie that was on the counter. Lord, that was good!!! Then I decided to eat dinner, pasteles and spanish rice. One word. Yuck. But I ate it anyway. Oh and while I was waiting for it to heat I had 2 more cookies. Yea!!! After dinner, another cookie. Oh yeah, I'm on a roll. Luckily that was the end of that. I managed to stop eating at that point. I was stuffed but not sick, at least not much.

This got me to thinking, why? Why did I get so freaking hungry today when I felt fine eating the same number of calories yesterday? Why did I cave so quickly to the cookies? I didn't even really want them. Why does this keep happening? As I was doing the dishes I thought about it and came to some possible solutions. Maybe to start, instead of focusing on the actual number of calories I'm eating, I should just focus on eating clean. Once I have a good handle on what is going in my mouth, I can start to focus on how much is going in.

My other thought was that I had rice at lunch today and I didn't yesterday. Could that make a difference? Maybe I should cut out all carbs and see if that helps. Of course, I won't eliminate all carbs just white ones - rice, potatoes, bread - I will continue to eat fruits and veggies.

So let's review:.

  • Not focusing on calories, focusing on eating whole foods
  • Avoiding processed foods and white carbs
That's it. Let's give it a go....

27 July 2011

Time to get real


Seriously!! I've been kind of kidding myself. I keep telling myself that I'm probably not gaining weight. That I'm just a little bit overweight. That I haven't put on that much weight. That I don't really eat that much. That I eat good. That I work out enough. Bull Shit!!!! I just got back from the doctors and what's the first thing they did?? Weigh me. Ummmm, yeah.... I have been fooling myself. I have gained weight. A lot of weight. And it's time to get serious about it.

Okay, as I wrote that I was eating dinner - pork chop and mashed potatoes. After I ate I got sooooo tired that I had to lay down on the couch for about 40 minutes. Ugh!!! I was completely and totally exhausted though. I have got to get my eating under control. I have no choice at all. I can not go on like this. Things have to change and they have to change right now.

I am going to stick to a 1500 calorie diet. I will record my food in Fat Secret and I will not, not, not eat dessert. I just know that is my downfall, I just know it. I can justify it to myself all I want that I don't eat much dessert and I don't eat it every night and all that other nonsense. Again I say, bull shit. I had a Drumstick the other night and they are about 400 calories. That's great. I eat that and then head off to bed and guess what....I gain. Enough, enough, enough.

I can't work out much because of my knee, but I can totally eat right. I'm back to school and there is no reason why my eating can't be more structured and controlled. I'm not lying around the house all day anymore.

Okay, enough, it starts now. Now I understand why I am so tired so often. Why I have no motivation or energy to do much of anything at all. OMG!!! But that's it, I'm done now.....

Energy Levels

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