02 June 2012

Thoughts on food

Yes, another post today. I have a lot of thoughts going around my head and this is the best place to dump them.

Since I decided to make this change and start this journey, I've been thinking back to when it was easy for me. There was a time when working out and eating right was fairly easy. And I've been trying to look back at that time and analyze why. Why was it so easy for me to get up in the morning and ride 25 miles? Why could I look at cookies and decide that I didn't want them? Why? In an effort to try and find an answer to those questions, I picked up a book the other day. It's called "It was food vs me and I won" I thought it might be an interesting read. I wanted to discover how someone took on food and won. So I started reading it the other night and quickly discovered that she could have been writing about me for most of my adult life. She talked of constantly battling food, being on a diet, feeling guilty, etc. All these things were things I had felt at one time or another most of my life. She also talked a lot about binge eating which was a problem I had but I've managed to get it under control. Anyway, what she was writing immediately brought back how I felt when I was in shape, working out a lot, and eating right. I felt in control. I had the ability to say no to cookies or to have just one if I wanted one. I did not eat until I was stuffed, I ate until I was full. I had control. This started me to thinking about my life now. There are times when I feel like I have no control and those are the times I turn to food. I am a control freak - it took me a long time to admit that - and when I don't have control I stress and when I stress I eat. Wow!!! It felt so freeing to make that connection in my head. Apparently I had made it in my body but I did not realize what I was doing so it didn't stick. I have got to be in control and when I'm not I eat. When I eat I have to get plus size dresses for weddings at the large women's store. I do not like that. Liberating to know. So I'm aware now and I'm going to work on it. I will have to develop some strategies for when I'm feeling like I have no control. I can take a deep breath. Put my trust and faith in someone else. Or just say a little pray.

This actually makes a whole lot of sense now that I think about it. I gained most of the weight this year and this year I really felt like I had no control at all in my classroom. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. So now I know what is the problem and what I need to do about it. Awesome.

Sometimes I need to get out of my own way

Woot!!!! Woot!!!! I feel so awesome right now. I met my personal trainer at 24 hour fitness at 6:30am. It was awesome. She put me through a workout that was tough but not too terribly tough. On some of the moves I was shaking on the last 2 or 3. Awesome.

However, and the real reason I'm writing this, I have to be careful not to overdo it or go crazy. I know what needs to be done and I need to just have faith in the process and let it happen. I have a tendency towards impatience and I want to rush or force things. That's when things go bad. So I need to just take it easy and go with the program.

I say this because during my session, there were moments when I found myself thinking 'oh, I could do this every day' or 'I should be using a heavier weight' or some such nonsense. I am not the person I was 4 years ago. I am not as strong as I was or as active. I need to get back into it slowly. Not so slowly I don't make progress, but slowly to allow my body time to catch up with my mind.

So I had a good workout. I feel good. I'm going to stop into 24 hour everyday to build the habit of going there. I know myself and the more I do it the quicker it will become a habit. But I will only do weight training 3 or 4 times a week. I will not over do it. I will follow the advice of the professional. I will.

After the workout, I jumped on my bike and headed home. On the ride I started to get hungry. By the time I got home I was starving. Yeah!!! I made an egg sandwich with hummus and a little bit of cheese. It was awesome. I have a mango for a snack and I can not wait for that.

Okay, off to the showers and then get laundry going.

Early morning update

Just wanted to pop in before my day started and kind of put down what I'm thinking. I'm very excited to start and I wish that I could focus on it all day, every day. But in honesty I can't. I am not at the Biggest Loser ranch, I have a life that I need to live. But I will be focusing on it when it's appropriate.

This morning:

  • weighed myself first thing = 197.2**
  • drank 2 cups of water = bleh
  • had black coffee
  • ate a banana with peanut butter within 30 minutes of getting up = bleh
**That number does not scare me or surprise me or upset me. This week has been a week of horrendous eating - sweets, cakes, donuts, etc, at school. Then there was the alcohol yesterday at lunch...So the fact that the number is up slightly does not surprise me at all.  

Drinking water first thing in the morning - bleh!!  Definitely not used to that and definitely something I will have to get used to.  It makes me feel bloated, but that feeling doesn't last long. And I will get used to it.  

Eating within 30 minutes of waking up - bleh!!! I don't usually eat right away.  I will generally drink my coffee and not eat for at least an hour. That is just another thing I need to get used to. 

The black coffee was surprisingly easy to drink. I thought I'd have trouble since I have always used milk or creamer. But no! I was wrong. It actually tastes pretty good without creamer in it. I am going to limit myself to 1 cup a day and I would like to get that down to 1/2  a cup. Something else to work on. 

So I'm ready to get started. I'll be heading over to 24 hour fitness soon and I'm totally looking forward to it. 

01 June 2012

Summer has finally arrived

Not technically, but for me :) Today was the final day of school. Classes ended on Wednesday but for the last 2 days we've had final exams. Now those are done. All that is left is grading and entering final grades. Yeah!!!! We had an end of the year party at a nice restaurant and that was fun. But I am glad to be done. I will be teaching summer school but that is just different from regular school and I'm okay teaching it.

In other news, I can not wait to get things started tomorrow. I am completely shifting my eating, and while I haven't gone shopping yet I have enough in the house to get me through tomorrow. I'll probably go shopping tomorrow afternoon.

The plan for tomorrow is:  

  • get up early
  • drink a glass of water immediately after brushing teeth
  • have a small breakfast
  • have a cup of black coffee
  • bike over to 24 hour fitness
  • meet with personal trainer and workout
  • bike home
  • have a huge omelet for breakfast
  • shower
  • work on thesis
I am excited to get this thing started.  Sometimes building up the anticipation really helps.  I'm ready...very ready...

Summer of giving

Summer time always seems to bring lots of birthdays. We have a number of friends who have birthdays in June. July is filled with family birthdays. Then we enter August. Hubby's birthday is August 1st and he celebrates the entire month. I have never seen an adult get so excited about a birthday. Except for two other people who had birthdays in August. Hmm....maybe it's August..... Anyway, I'm already looking around and trying to figure out what to get Hubby. He's not the easiest guy to buy for. I was looking at redenvelope's gift ideas for men trying to get some ideas. Luckily I started really early this year.. We will see what I come up with.

30 May 2012

And the hits just keep coming

I'm a huge believer in signs. I honestly and truly believe that when something is meant to be, things will align so that whatever it is can happen. I've found that the case in most huge things in my life. I will decide to do something and it's like the universe says "YES" and arranges everything so that I can do/get what I want. I don't know if it's me being so positive about something and therefore creating a situation where things work out, or if there really is some kind of cosmic force that prods things along. All I know is that it happens. Frequently.

So this morning I got the call and arranged my first personal training session for early, early Saturday morning. Then, I get home from work tonight and find my Body Bugg here. I ordered this over the weekend. It shipped yesterday and got here today. Awesome!!! I got it all ready to start using tomorrow. I am very excited about it and can't wait to start using it.

I really do think things are lining up so that I can get back into shape. Either that or I'm just really ready and taking everything as a good sign :)

Woot! Woot! Game On!!!!

The other day I bought a membership to 24 hour fitness. I was planning on going over there on Monday and getting all accustomed to the place, but I got so wrapped up in my thesis that I never left the house. Anyway, when I signed up I also bought 3 personal trainer sessions. Today the manager called to set up an appointment for the trainer and it's Saturday at 6:30am. Woot!!! I am beyond excited. Friday school ends and Saturday I start my new training program. I'm excited. I'm going into this with everything I have. I am going to start school in the fall considerably smaller then I am now. I am. I have a closet full of clothes that are a size smaller then I wear now. Those have to fit by the time school starts in July. I am excited and ready to go!!!!

28 May 2012

Time to get organized

I am a somewhat disorganized person. I have this tendency to just walk away when I am done with something. So if I am working on say school work and I finish, I will just leave. I won't put anything away or clean up any mess I've made, I will just walk away. Or, and this can be even worse in my opinion, I will put something down and say I will do it later. Guess what that leads to? A huge pile of things to be done later. Not good. I really want to be organized and I want things to be neat and tidy, I'm just not sure I know exactly how to do it. Seriously. I have tried a thousand systems and none of them seem to work just right for me. But, I'm nothing if not persistent, so I'm going to try again. Today I'm going to get out one of my best tries to date and try to tweak it to me. I got a box that holds hanging folders and sits on your desk top. In the past I tried other people's ideas for what the folders should say and that never worked for me. So I'm going to try it again with what I think they should say. I'm also going to make an effort to use it every day. I'm going to avoid just throwing things on my desk, I'm going to deal with them.

Also, I work better if I have a to-do list and I know what I need to do in a day, hour, week, month, whatever. I can not make a mental list because I can blow that off too easily. So I'm going to write down what I need to do and I am going to be extremely productive today. I am!!!!!

I'm also going to try and work out today, though in truth I'm still pretty sore. I would also like to ride over to 24 hour today and get "settled" in there. We shall see. That will be on my list for 'if I have time' and I'm okay with that. I also want to look for some helmets. Hubby wants to start riding my mountain bike but I'm pretty adamant that he can't ride without a helmet. When I took my spill my helmet got smashed - luckily it wasn't my head. So we are going to look around for some bell helmets, he seems to like those.

Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, I need to report on yesterday. I was pretty much a bum all day because I was really sore and it was hard to move. In the afternoon I had to head over to graduation and head up the ushers. That was mind-blowingly exhausting. Then graduation. Up until this point, I had not eaten much yesterday. I had breakfast with Hubby and some little snacks and that was about it. After graduation we headed over to a colleagues house and had a little get together. I drank 3 beers and ate some fried gau-gee, chips and dips, quesadillas, more chips and dips. Then came home and had a huge slice of apple pie. Then went to bed. So it was not the best day eating wise, but I did not stuff myself and I was hungry when I got there, so it wasn't the worst. Oh yeah, I had like 3 cookies. I want to hold myself accountable and keep myself honest, so there you have it.

Now, time to get moving.

27 May 2012

A good day

Yesterday was a really good day. I worked out for the first time in forever. I found a Tabata workout online and decided to try it. I have to say this about Tabata - I like it!! For those that may not know, which I didn't really until yesterday. Tabata is an interval method. You do a movement for 20 seconds then 10 seconds rest, repeat 8 times for a total of 4 minutes. Rest for 1 minute and move on to the next more. Why did I like it? Well, there is no time to get bored, you are constantly changing things up - either moving or resting. It's not hard in the fact that I can do anything for 20 seconds. You don't feel like you're working that hard, even though I was sweating like crazy, but it's easy to keep going. So I really like this method and will probably use it a lot. I also found a timer app that has the Tabata timer already set up. Yea!!!

There was a downside to this workout. By the end of the workout I could feel my muscles already starting to ache. Delayed onset muscle soreness started to set in before I was done with the workout. Yikes!!! That happened because a) you do the move 8 times for 20 seconds each, that's a lot of one movement. And b) I have not worked out in forever and am seriously out of shape. This morning I am sore. Really, really sore. But I kind of like it. It feels good to know that I worked my muscles and did something good for me. I want to work out this morning but I'm having trouble moving, so maybe just some stretchy yoga poses to get some blood flowing into the muscles and get this lactic acid out.

The rest of the day went just as well. I had hummus on flatbread with tons of veggies for lunch. A mango smoothie from Jack in the Box for a snack. Dinner was a delicious burger and beer with some friends. Awesome. I felt really good about yesterday and I like that feeling. I'm slowly making my way back to where I want to be and I think I'm going to like the journey.

Some interesting things to note. It's amazing how quickly these good habits can reassert themselves and how good choices lead to more good choices. After working out yesterday morning, I did not want to ruin it with junk food. I ended up eating pretty well and felt really good about the choices I made. Even the beer was okay because I really wanted one. I have some junk food laying on my kitchen counter and was not even tempted yesterday. So, the moral of this story is, one good choice leads to another. They build and build until the good choices far outnumber the poor choices.

Now, I'm going to try and do some yoga - ha!!!!

Completely out of control

What is it with me and free time? I had last week off and things literally spiralled completely out of control. I've lost track of the...