09 June 2012

Reality Check



So last night I was all 'oh, the scale doesn't rule my life anymore, I'm so over it' blah, blah, blah..... I got up this morning and the first thing on my mind was my weigh-in. Now it may be due to the fact that I was posting about it last night or it may be due to the fact that I'm really not so over it as I thought. Anyway, I got up, fed the birds to shut them up, then headed to the scale. I had already eliminated everything that was ready to leave if you know what I mean. I said to myself as I stepped on it, this does not affect me in anyway. Whatever this says is just one measure of my progress. I feel good. I'm more energetic. I'm sleeping better. What the number on this scale says can not affect my day in anyway. Clearly I'm not as over this as I thought I was. So I stepped on the scale looked down and saw 195.4. Hmm, my immediate gut reaction was 'crap' that's all???? Then I mentally slapped myself and said 'what the heck is your problem?' I am down 2.2 lbs from last week. That's awesome. That's what I want, 2 lbs a week. So what the heck is my problem??? I'm only down .8 lbs from where I started, that's what's wrong. I started at 196.2, last week went up to 197.6 and then down this week to 195.4. To put this in perspective; the week before last was the last days of school. There were parties and sweets all over the place, all week long. And I partook of them. A. Lot. Much more then I should have. So when the scale was up I was not at all surprised. This past week in contrast, has been so much better. I've been watching what I eat, I've been logged sporadically, and I'm working out. I'm feeling awesome!!!! And I'm down 2.2 lbs - YEAH!!!!! So there you have it. I'm not as divorced from the scale as I thought I was.

Now, where do I go from here? Step it up. Tracking my food is by far my weakest area, so that's what I'm going to focus on this week. That and meeting my calorie burn on Body Bugg. Every. Day. It's not like I'm so busy I don't have time to do this stuff. I'm just breaking a lazy habit. So here's to a fabulous week.

08 June 2012

Really shifting my thinking



It's kind of amazing to me how quickly things are turning around for me. Seriously. For a long time I was very healthy. I worked out, I ate right, I was active and took care of myself. During that time I didn't step on the scale much. I don't even remember how much I weighed during that time, I'm not even sure if I owned a scale. Then, when I started gaining weight, I became obsessed with the scale. I would weigh myself every single day and sometimes more then once a day. Insane, I know. More insane was the rationalizations I used. I convinced myself that by weighing myself every morning I kept tabs on my weight so I wasn't surprised at weigh-in. Sounds reasonable and it was probably even true at one point. Then it became an obsession. My mood was determined by the number on the scale. If it went down, I had a good day. If it went up, a not so good day. I knew there were fluctuations that had nothing to do with my true weight, yet I let it rule my life. When I was preparing to start this journey again, I purchased a scale - I have not owned one that worked properly for 3 years. I weighed myself once in a while. A couple of times I weighed myself 2 or 3 days in a row. Then I would forget and not weigh. On June 2nd, when I got serious with all this, I weighed myself with the intention of weighing once a week - Saturday morning to be exact. The first week I weighed myself a couple of times during the week. I ended up being up 1 lb last Saturday and it didn't phase me at all. Seriously. I was totally unaffected by the number on the scale. This week I have not even looked at the scale once. Not even once. I realized tonight that I need to weigh in tomorrow, but other then that I haven't even thought about it. I'm starting to feel really good about myself. I'm eating right, I'm working out and I'm liking the way I feel. As a result the number on the scale really has no power over me. Amazing. I'm very proud of myself because clearly my thoughts are shifting and that's what I need to change, my thinking. So things are good. I'm happy with myself. I'm happy with what I'm doing. I'll see what the scale says tomorrow. I wonder if I could insure this feeling so that when it goes away I can get it back. Kind of like business liability insurance quote which protects your business...it would protect my good outlook and practice...

07 June 2012

Carpal Tunnel



I had real problems with my hand today. I was in complete agony this morning. Makes me think I shouldn't put off the surgery, but I'm going to wait until Christmas.

Anyway, when I had the nerve conductance study done on Tuesday I had to go to a neurologist. I found it interesting because I've never been to one before. I find the study of the human body absolutely fascinating but especially the study of the nerves. Our nervous system is an amazing piece of work. We can touch something with our foot and know it in our brain immediately. Amazing. I find the doctors that study things like Adult epilepsy. It's just amazing that the human brain can short circuit, cause a seizure and they can study it and try to figure it out.

Yes, I'm doing a terrible job of saying what I want to, but I'll continue to try. I had a friend who had epilepsy and nothing helped. Nothing. They tried all kinds of drugs and nothing would stop the seizures. He had to visit a bunch of neurologists, do all kinds of tests, and they still couldn't help him. I'm sure what he went through was nothing compared to my nerve conductance study. That was really weird. The doctor put these sensors on my hand, then used a wand like thing to send an electric current through my nerves. It felt a lot like when you bang your elbow just right and you get that electric charge down your arm? Yeah, like that only on purpose.

So that's my story about my trip to the neurologist. Just thought I'd share.

Tracking food



Everything really starting to fall into place with this fitness revival. One area that I have a problem with is tracking my food intake. I always keep track of what I eat mentally, but actually sitting down and logging it....eh, not so much....But I need to do it because when I do it religiously it works. I know it does. It's worked for me in the past and I know it would work again. I just need to do it. So my goal for the coming week is to journal every bite every day. I'm on summer break, it's not like I can't take the time and do it.....

Met with the personal trainer for the last time today. Of course, she tried to sell me more but I just can't afford it right now, so I'm on my own again. I worked with her 3 times and she had some good workouts and I could follow those. But I'm like, eh.... I don't know. I know I need to do weight training I just need to find a routine I love - for now. I will probably do her workouts just because they are tough and I can really work them now that I know them. I don't have to do weights for a couple of days so I'm going to let it ruminate before I decide what to do.

I did get a really good workout today and I love that feeling. I have some sore muscles going on. Maybe I need to get some olbas oil. It's supposed to help joints and muscles and smell good. What more can I ask??

Summer school started today and wow, are they different then my regular class. I spent the entire year trying to get quiet in my room. Today I spent the entire time trying to get some noise out of them. It's going to be a long 14 days....

Well, that brings us up to date for now. I need to shower and head off to bed.

05 June 2012

Let's Discuss



For the last few days I've had tons to say about all kinds of stuff. Then yesterday {crickets}...... What happened? I honestly don't know. I wasn't that busy but I did have stuff to do all day, I guess I just never got around to blogging. Oh well... I do have lots to say today, so let's begin.

I have to say I am feeling awesome!! Just Awesome!! I've been forcing myself to be more active and I'm beginning to really get into it. Let me explain. Yesterday I ended up sweeping and vacuuming the entire house because I did not feel like sitting while watching TV. Today I had a doctor's appointment and Hubby said he would pick me up. Instead of calling him, I rode my bike about 5.5 miles to the bus stop and caught the bus home. Cool huh??? It was for me. It is a definite shift in thinking and I'm digging it.

Other things, I'm sleeping pretty good. The eating is really starting to fall into line too. I had a cookie in my hand ready to eat, and I ended up putting it back. I'm feeling so fabulous in just the few days I've been doing this, I don't want to stop feeling this good.

The bad news is I may need surgery. I've had carpal tunnel syndrome for years and it's starting to get worse.I had the nerve conductance study today and I have it in both hands but the right is worse. That's the one that bothers me. I don't like living with this pain but I'm not big on having the surgery. At least not at this point in time. I have too much to do this summer and I don't want the excuse of not being able to work out. No now. I'm thinking I'll put the surgery off until Christmas vacation. By then I should be well ensconced in my workout regiment and should be able to handle a reduction for a couple of weeks. I know I'll be able to do cardio things after a couple of weeks, but that it may be a while before I can lift weights or anything. After all they cut a ligament:


That has got to be painful and take a while to heal. I also wonder if it grows back together??? Hmmm... Something to ask the doctor. It's kind of like cutting open a wire duct that's not big enough for all the wires it holds. So they cut that ligament and it creates more space in the "tunnel" which in theory will allow the nerves to work like they are supposed to. And right now the very tips of my thumb and forefinger are almost constantly numb.

In a bizarre twist, my bike is actually not bothering it. I have to stretch it by bending my hand back towards my elbow, upwards, and that's the position I ride my bike in.

So that's my story. Lots of good things happening and some bad. Oh well, it can't be perfect all the time.

03 June 2012

Body Bugg



I am a scientist. Because of that I really do love numbers. I love figuring things out and having the numbers work. One of the things that I found works for me is the numbers for weight loss. When I lost all that weight back in 1998, part of what worked for me was keeping track of the numbers. I was with Weight Watchers and so I tracked points. A few years ago when I had the Body Bugg for the first time, I loved the numbers it gave me. I had all kinds of stats and numbers to deal with. Above is what the Body Bugg screen looks like. It shows the calories burned, calories consumed, and the deficit. It's only by creating a deficit can I lose weight. I really like the chart at the bottom. If I put my cursor over one of the bars on the graph it will tell me how many calories I burn per minute. It's rather awesome.

Just thought I'd share if anyone is interested.

Hmmm......


I wonder what is different now as opposed to two weeks ago? Two weeks ago I could not motivate myself to move. I was exhausted almost all the time. The thought of working out was just insane - insane I tell you. Yet here I am, a short 14 days later, and I'm totally pumped. I'm psyched about working out. I'm excited to eat right. I'm just excited. What changed?? I know it was me, but what exactly? Was it the build-up? Instead of just taking it day by day and winging it as I go, my usual routine, I planned and worked it out in my head. Wait, mental rehearsing!! I did that for 2 weeks, so when yesterday came I was ready to go. That's one thing that was lacking previously. Instead of envisioning the workout and the good feelings, I envisioned the getting ready, organizing everything, blah, blah, blah. I was exhausted before I even got out of my chair. No wonder. Also, with the food, while I thought about it all the time I didn't give it a lot of consideration. I would eat whatever was in front of me without really thinking about it. Just in yesterday and this morning, I'm giving it so much more thought and consideration even if I'm starving. Interesting.

I was working out a little while ago and there are these huge letters on the wall of 24 with different inspirational messages. One across the room from me was 'BELIEVE IN YOURSELF' and I read it and my immediate thought was, I do!!! Wow, where did that come from???

Anyway, went to 24 and got my cardio on. Did 15 minutes on the bike at level 3 - easy, easy. Did 15 minutes on this weird elliptical type machine that simulated climbing stairs?!?!? It was strange but a good workout. Then I headed over to the treadmill. So many thoughts were running through my head; I'll do C25K; I'll just run a little; I'll run slow; blah, blah, blah..... I ended up taking a conservative approach and walked the entire time. I did 15 minutes total and every 3 minutes I would speed it up a little. So I started at 2.5mph, at 3 minutes went to 2.7mph, at 6 minutes 3.0mph, at 9 minutes 3.5mph, then at 12 minutes I took it back down to 3.0mph to start cooling off. I so wanted to run but I also don't want to kill myself too early. So I showed restraint and maturity and kept it easy. Very proud of myself...

I feel good


Yesterday was a rousing success. I ended the day having consumed 1550 calories and having burned 2300. That is a deficit of 750 calories. I was going for 1,000 but I'll take that. The first couple of days are always difficult when I'm changing how I eat. I get hungry and cranky and think about food more then normal, only because I'm figuring out the best meals for me. In a couple of days I will hardly think about food and just know what I want to eat. That's a little bit of the problem too. My go-tos are not the best choices so I have to put some effort into changing my thinking. It's not that hard, just takes a couple of days of conscious effort, then it will quickly become habit.

I forgot to drink my glass of water this morning and had to go back for it after I started drinking my coffee. Drinking water first thing in the morning is yucky. Drinking it after coffee is double yucky. But I drank it and had my banana with peanut butter. That is one of the most perfect things to eat in the early morning for me. It's not that heavy. It's got some protein. And it's fairly easy to digest and doesn't sit in my stomach. Also, eating that first thing does seem to get my metabolism moving quickly. After my water and banana & PB, I'm ready to do things and not just sit in front of my computer - though I have been doing that because it was still dark out :)

So Day 1 down and Day 2 has begun. Today I'm going to:

  • go to the gym for some cardio
  • do laundry
  • work on thesis
Guess that's about it really. Need to make some progress on my thesis so that's going to happen while laundry is going on. I also have to drop Hubby's truck off for new tires. 

Okay, time to get moving.....

The key to change is awareness

So I posted yesterday that I really had nothing to write about because things were going well and I just didn't have much to say. Scra...