20 October 2012

Need to get control

This has been my downfall lately. Hubby likes to have dessert at night and one of his favorites is ice cream. Last night it was red velvet ice cream. And it is just like it sounds, red velvet cake in ice cream. I wasn't particularly fond of it but I ate it. A good sized bowl of it. We started this tradition of ice cream before bed a couple of years ago. I was on Weight Watchers at the time and if I had points left over I would have a small scoop of ice cream. I would only have 1 scoop at most and I would put it in a chinese rice bowl so it looked like more then it was. Over time this once in a while treat developed into an almost every night thing. And one scoop in a rice bowl evolved into a regular bowl with 2 or 3 scoops. The bowl got bigger because Hubby shares his ice cream with the dogs, so he needs extra. I do not. And yet I get it. And eat it. Even if I'm not fond of it. Like red velvet ice cream. So I need to change that and I need to do it immediately.

Aside from the fact that I ride my bike to commute and I go to Crossfit 3x per week, I feel like I'm not doing enough for my health and fitness. Maybe I should backtrack just a bit.

When I start working out it is always a struggle. A real struggle. I get aches and pains, some of which I'm convinced are imagined, and I bitch and moan the whole time. Eventually I will reach a point where I start to enjoy my workouts. I will do them no matter what. Once I reach that point I begin to look for new and different things to do. Once I get active I want to do more and more. I have reached that point where I am starting to enjoy them and am beginning to want to do more.

So back to where I left off, in spite of the fact that I bike everyday and do Crossfit 3x per week, I feel like I'm not doing enough. I feel like I spend a lot of time sitting around doing nothing. If I'm doing nothing I could be doing something.

So that's where I'm at, feeling like I'm not doing enough and spending too many nights with dessert. No positive what I'm going to do about it but I need to at least put it out there so that I can come up with a solution.

In other news, my computer seems to be dying. That leads to it's own host of issues. I need to get everything off here so if it dies I don't lose everything. I also need to look into a new computer. I have a laptop but the thought of using a laptop all the time leaves me cold. I am definitely a desktop type person and need to have an all in one pc for my home here. So that's the other thing on my mind.... Ugh, too many things to think about and consider....

14 October 2012

Time for a confession

I've been saying repeatedly that things are going really well lately. And in many respects they are. But there are a few areas where they aren't and I have decided it's time to fess up with myself.

First, I am really having trouble letting go of the bull with my neighbors. We had the mediation in February and I still am not able to let it go. That's insane. Not only is it insane it's not healthy. I can not continue to hold on to this anger towards them. They don't know I still have it and with any luck at all they never will. I can not allow them that kind of control over me. This anger does no good for anyone. So I have got to let it go but I'm really not sure exactly how to do that.

Second, my eating has not been good. I've been working out at Crossfit for 6 weeks now and things are starting to change with my body but I'm not eating well. I eat far too much processed foods - though I don't want to. I eat way too many sweets. I do not eat enough fruits and veggies. In my own defense, part of this has been due to my being on break this week. Whenever I am home I just do not do as well as I do at school. I thrive on structure and routine. Being home I have none of that.

See that, just writing these things down has made me feel better already. The food thing is actually the easier of the two. For that I will:

  • Pack my lunch and breakfast every day
  • Eat a fruit with every meal
  • Have a salad for lunch
  • Write down what I eat
The first one is actually the hardest one. I am going to work on not focusing on them when I am home. I am also going to try and think nice thoughts about them. That will be so difficult. There is so much bad blood between us that thinking anything nice about them is incredibly hard. But I will try. I will try to say one nice thing about them a day. Even if it's only to myself. I need to switch the way I think about them and hopefully that will be a start. I wonder if them being quiet while I shop for 
Oboz online counts as something nice???????

The soreness has set in

One of the things I absolutely love about Crossfit is that it's never the same workout twice so you really have no time to get used to it. After almost every workout I have a little bit of soreness. Today I have quite a bit.

The workout on Friday was 20 pull-ups and 20 wall balls. We could pick either 3,4, or 5 rounds. Since everyone was doing 5 I went for 5 too. I wrote all about my thinking here in another post.

Yesterday was not bad, I felt myself getting a little bit sore but nothing serious. Today?? Different story. My back is sore from the ring rows I did instead of pull-ups and my thighs are killing me from the wall balls. Above is a picture of how wall balls are done. It is difficult walking today, especially stairs. I did 5 rounds of 20 each, so that's 100 ring rows and 100 wall balls. No wonder I hurt...

Monsoon season has arrived

and we got our first rain yesterday. Actually, it's still raining a little this morning. It wasn't a lot of rain, but it was rain....