04 May 2013
I just got back from Crossfit with a major AHA moment. Our workout today was as follows:
21-15-9 for time: 9:56
Box jumps - 16" box rebounding
Toes 2 bar - did on ground
200m run after each round
A number of things happened that lead to my AHA, so bear with me.
When I saw the WOD and that there was a run involved, my immediate response was OH SH*T!!!! I caught that and stopped it in it's tracks. I switched it to, it's only 200m - easy peasy. Then we had to do rebounding box jumps. Again, my initial thought was, I can't do these. I shut that down and said of course I can, I did them the other night. My next thought was, I will have to use the smallest box. I shut that one down too. The other night I used the smallest box and it was easy. I decided to use the next box up. While practicing on the 12" box, I thought it too felt kind of easy. So I tried the 16" box. Just right. Hard, but not impossible. Something I would have to work for. Perfect, I used the 16" box in my workout. Finally there was the toes to bar. I really wanted to do these but discovered that the kip hurt my shoulder. So then I tried a hanging knee to chest, but that too hurt. So I admitted defeat and did them on the floor. I was ready for the workout. I pushed myself through the entire workout. I ran all the running. I did the box jumps as fast as I could and I did the toes to bar without stopping. I pushed myself and finished it in 9:56. Not the fastest but definitely good for me. As I lay there on the floor recovering, I thought to myself that this was the first time I really pushed myself in a 21-15-9 workout. This is a short workout so it's supposed to be an all out sprint. Today it was for me and I felt really good about it. I've felt really good about my WODs lately even though I was doing less than I had previously.
As I was driving home I thought about that. I don't lift near as much as I did before my shoulder but I'm working much harder and feeling better about my workouts. I then thought on something the owner told me a couple of weeks ago, injuries are bad because you get frustrated about where you used to be and so you try to rush to get back there and hurt yourself more. Up until about 2 weeks ago, that was me. I was angry and frustrated that I had lost so much ground due to this stupid shoulder, so I tried to push things and ended up just getting more frustrated and angry. Workouts were not fun and I was not enjoying myself. So last week, when I decided to lose the excuses and just do the best I could was a real turning point for me. Since then I have been doing the hardest version I can without pain, and really pushing myself. What's happened is that I am enjoying my workouts again. I'm in a much better frame of mind. I'm not the last one done every single time anymore. And I'm making progress as evidenced by my push ups last night and rebounding on a 16" box today.
I think the lesson I'm supposed to get out of this is that I'm not in a competition with anyone but myself. Before my injury I was looking at what others did and trying to beat them and pushing myself too far. The injury set me back, but in so many ways has allowed me to see the path and move forward.
and I'm glad I did. This week has been truly awesome. Work is super busy. There are finals to prep and event to prepare for. May is graduation and there are so many things leading up to it. But it's good. Keeps me busy and the days just fly by. Believe me when I tell you, us teachers look forward to summer far more than the students do.
Crossfit has been going great too. My shoulder is still bothering me, but I try every move and if it hurts I modify it. I'm still getting insane workouts and I'm pushing myself within my limits. All this week the WODs have been brutal. Things like handstand push ups in 4 of the 5 WODs. I can't do handstand push ups, but it did lead to a bit of a breakthrough for me. The coaches want us to do the hardest variation that we can and since pike push ups hurt my shoulder, regular push ups were it. I started unassisted as those are still kind of hard for me. The first night I did the entire WOD like that. The next night had them again and I had to alternate between full floor ones and ones on a box, but most of them were on the floor. Then last night, there they were again. Initially I set up a band to help me, but after the first round I realized that band was useless so I moved to the floor. I did the entire WOD on the floor. During the WOD I thought to myself, when exactly did this happen? When did I become strong enough to do full push ups on the floor, unassisted? I don't know. The transition just happened and I'm glad it did. Unless there are 1000's of push ups, I don't think I will use bands anymore.
My attitude is the thing that has changed most. I have stopped thinking about where I was before I hurt my shoulder and just focus on where I am now. Before I hurt my shoulder I was doing incredible things. Lifting heavy, heavy weights. Snatching and squatting amazing amounts of weight. I can't do that RIGHT NOW. So instead of whining about not being where I was, I work slowly on getting back there. I can't dwell on the past, I must keep focused on the here and now. As a result of this attitude, I am making progress, my shoulder is slowly getting better, and I am getting stronger all over. So I will continue to focus on progress not perfection and continue to make strides.
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