03 August 2013

Must stay strong

There may be a few posts over this weekend as I get my head back into the right space. My resolve was strong last night. I was not going to eat anything that resembled crap at all. I was going to drink water and eat good, whole foods today. And I was going to eat light. Not starve myself, but eat less than normal since I have been overeating garbage lately. Give my body a chance to clear the nastiness out. But I woke up this morning and started thinking about going out to lunch with Hubby. He's been working nights for the past 2 weeks and I've hardly seen him. He'll be home for lunch today and I thought we could go somewhere for a nice lunch. Now, if we do that here is what will happen. I will eat something I don't really want to eat. I will probably have a beer, which I do not need. I will then come home and nap on the couch and probably end up eating more garbage I don't really want because I've set off the sugar monster. So no lunch. We can make a nice lunch here at home, he can relax because he has to work tonight - last night - and we can save money and I can save myself from myself.

Right now I need to just avoid everything. I need to focus on simple, whole foods and eating when I'm hungry. But the most important part is to keep it simple. Adding lots of different complex flavors seems to trigger something in me and I overeat. Simple, whole foods don't do that. Remember:

That's all it is. It can not make me happy or a better person or anything. It can only fuel me so that I can be happy or a better person. Food is only fuel, that is all.

02 August 2013

The wheels definitely fell off this week

This is me trying to pick up the wreckage of my health and fitness. It has been a rough week. I had two big papers due last weekend and those kept me glued to the computer most of the weekend. I did get them in on time, but it took everything I had. Then Monday school started and after a month of lazing around, it was back to work. Monday and Tuesday was all day teacher meetings and they fed us. Junk!! Worse part? I ate it. I was a little sad about being back to school and I soothed myself with food. Donuts. Candy. Lots of wheat and sugar. I did manage to make it to Crossfit Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday rolled around and the kids came in for orientation. They fed us lunch again. Sandwiches. And I ate them. With chips. 3 bags. Which ended up not being enough good food and I was starving and exhausted by the time I got home. I don't remember what I had for dinner, but I do remember that I didn't go to Crossfit. Then yesterday was leftover city. Lots of donuts and brownies and junk. I ended up feeling like crap and not going to Crossfit again. I woke this morning feeling like absolute crap and my clothes being a little tight. Did that stop me from eating cake at work and when I got home? No! For dinner I had some pad thai, fried chicken, pasta salad, and 2 spring rolls. I feel unbelievably bad. So I decided I needed to come here to purge everything and strengthen my resolve. Although this blog is not seen by anyone but me, it is definitely very cathartic and a great place to purge my thoughts. So, I can not changed this week. It is over and done with. But right here and now is a new moment. Tomorrow is a new day. I can, and will, make better choices tomorrow. I will go to Crossfit tomorrow and Sunday. I will eat food for fuel and not to try and make me feel better. It doesn't. What makes me feel good is to eat right and work out. Being tired and the stress of returning to work were excuses for poor choices. No more excuses. Starting right now I will treat my body with the respect it deserves. So I am picking up the wreckage of my week and starting new. Right here. Right now.

28 July 2013

Low back pain

A couple of weeks ago we did heavy deadlifts at Crossfit. And one thing I can do is heavy deadlifts. So I pushed it. The next day my low back hurt. Duh!!!! It went away fairly quickly though, so I was all good with that. The following week we did deadlifts in a WOD and I went heavy again. And guess what? That's right, my back hurt the next day. Duh!!! Again, it cleared up fairly quickly so no worries. But ever since then, when I get up in the morning my low back hurts. Actually, it's more stiff and inflexible. After getting up and moving, it's fine and then I forget about it. Until the next morning. I'm wondering if our mattress is done. We've only had it about 4-5 years, but I'm thinking it might be time to consider a new one.

Monsoon season has arrived

and we got our first rain yesterday. Actually, it's still raining a little this morning. It wasn't a lot of rain, but it was rain....