I know how powerful these things are, but I forget sometimes. This morning seems to be a constant reminder of that though. But let me back up and start with yesterday.
I woke up yesterday morning and everything was just fine. I did the same things I always do and I headed off to work. Once at work, again I did the same things I always do as I went about my day. I'm sitting at my desk working when I my upper lip starts to feel weird. Hmmmm..It feels like it's swelling up. Hmmmmm, that's weird. It gets worse and worse and worse. Finally I go downstairs to talk to my friend and the first thing she says is what the heck is wrong? I don't know.....As I'm talking to her, I lift my arm and she notices I have hives on my arm. What?????Sure enough. I make a trip to the bathroom and discover I have hives on my upper legs too. WTH???? I take some Benadryl and the lip feels like it goes down a bit, but then it starts to get bigger. I finally realize something needs to be done, so I head to the principals office to tell them I am going to go home. The principal takes one look at me and says what is wrong? Again, I don't know!!!! Anyway, she won't let me drive my car, but has the secretary drive me to the ER and they call Hubby to meet me there. They have no idea what caused it, the consensus seems to be the clams we had the night before but no one is positive. 2 hours later, an IV of Benadryl, prednisone, and pepcid the hives are gone but the lip is still there. They let me go with prescriptions for all of the above plus an Epipen. The theory being, if I'm allergic to something and we don't know what, I could be exposed to it again. If the reaction is worse and my throat starts to close up, the Epipen will help.
This episode screwed up my entire day. I had the whole day planned. After school my friend was doing a Murder Board at CFO, so I was going to go there and take a class with him. Then I was going to an event at the Aquarium for teachers. Then today I was going to spend the day on Coconut Island - another teacher event. I bailed on last night and am bailing on today. I let them know so hopefully someone else got to take my spot. Spend last night pretty much on the couch. It was miserable and I don't ever want to experience that again.
Then today I wake up to this:
I have this on my gym bag and I love this saying. So that got me a little more motivated. Then someone writes the words to this song on the FB post:
I had forgotten about this song and I love it. It's one of my favorites. So I've been listening to this all morining and it's making me realize that things happen for a reason. I believe in free will. I believe we make choices on our own. But I also believe in fate. If you make the right choices for the right reasons, things will work out right. If you are making choices from a bad place, or for reasons that have bad will associated with them, things will turn out bad for you. Does that make sense? It does to me. My favorite saying is that things always work out the way they are supposed to. But you determine what is supposed to by your actions and intentions.
So this happened for a reason. I don't know what, yet, and may not know for a long time. But there is a reason this happened.
So my positive motivation this morning is sending me off to Crossfit. I don't have a car but I have two legs that work fine. So I'm off to get my sweat on.
15 October 2013
I've been really struggling with the food thing. I had off last week for fall break and did pretty well on food. I really thought I was making progress. Then yesterday, the first day back, I come home and eat like there is no tomorrow. There was lots of Korean food and 3 - count em 3 - apple turnovers. I was completely stuffed and woke up this morning feeling like crap. I had some intestinal distress and it was not fun. I ate well the rest of the day and am slowly feeling better. Well, except for the dried fruit on the way home. But if that is the worse thing I eat today I will be happy. Breakfast was eggs and bacon. Lunch was chicken breast and veggies. Dinner was meatballs and avocado. Add the dried fruit in and that's all I ate all day. Not bad. Still not feeling fabulous, but definitely on the way to better.
I need to get a handle on this eating thing. I do go and then spiral out of control in the most spectacular fashion. I'm not sure what is behind it. I used to eat when I felt left out or if things weren't the way I wanted them to be. Wait, I think I just figured it out. I was very upset about the collaboration paper I had to do over the weekend. The paper I submitted is going to be different from the others. It was really bugging me yesterday. I've gotten over it because what's done is done. I can't pull the paper back so what is is. Plus I figured out, even if I get a 70% I will still have a B in the class and the possibility of making it up before things are done. So now I'm resigned to it, but yesterday I was upset. That could have been what set it off. Well, that and that Hubby brought the food home. I need to stop feeding my emotions. I've actually gotten pretty good at not feeding them, but when something sneaks in - like yesterday - it catches me unawares. I have got to stop this.
I also need to get back to walking in the morning. No reason not to do it tomorrow. I want to run. I was supposed to start running again this month. Then my knee started acting up. It has been a week now and it hasn't really swelled up. Time to put it to the test. I will get up in the morning and walk for 15-20 minutes. It's not much but it's a start.
13 October 2013
I went to this. In Crossfit we do a lot of box jumping. There are times when we try to see how high we can box jump. I suck at this because I'm a little afraid. Afraid of missing and hurting myself. This seminar helped with that a bit. It showed me the correct way to box jump. A couple of different ways to box jump. And some visualization to overcome the fear of box jumping. It was worth it. Plus we did a lot of box jumping :)
After this, a bunch of us went to a pizza place for some food and beer. It's a new place that opened recently and it's very, very good. I overate a bit, drank a couple of beers, and was generally feeling pretty spiffy. Came home and was too full to eat anything more, I did bring pizza for Hubby though, so all I had the rest of the night was an ice cream bar. I woke up this morning starving. Not hungry, starving. As in I felt like I was going to throw up bile if I didn't get something in my stomach. The kind of hunger that makes you grab whatever is handy and stuff it in your mouth. I could have stuffed some more pizza in my mouth, there is still some left over, but I decided to eat right and made a real breakfast. But this feeling got me to thinking.....
Pizza has a lot of stuff on it, but it is most crust. I bet if you did a weight comparison, over 50% of the weight would be crust. Crust is bread, which is wheat. One slice of a supreme type pizza is around 250 calories. I ate 4 slices. That's almost 1000 calories plus I had 2 pints of beer. That is approximately 1500 calories in one meal. A 6 oz steak has approximately 360 calories and I eat that with lots of veggies and maybe a small potato. A meal like that has about 500 calories in it and I do not feel starving when I wake up the next morning. The more I pay attention, the more obvious it becomes how food effects me. We really have been handed a bunch of bull about food and nutrition. I don't think they were doing it purposefully. I think it's more of a case where a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. They learned that carbs fuel our bodies and proclaimed that we must eat mostly carbs. They didn't have the full story. Nothing exists or works in a vacuum. The human body is an amazing, complex work that can adjust and adapt to many different situations, including what food can fuel it's systems. I just find it very amusing when someone says, this is what the body needs because XYZ, not taking anything else into account.
It's kind of the same way with people. You have a person that something worked for, weight loss, weight gain, confidence building, whatever. They stumble across something that works for them, then think that they can help others. Now it's nice that they want to, and their advice may help some people, but to think you are now an expert is just so wrong. One of my favorite examples is job hunting. Years ago I paid one of those services to help me find a job. Their suggestions? I get out and network. Go to meetings. Go to gatherings. Go anywhere business people are and network. That's an excellent suggestion. That is even something I'm sure works once in a while. What I have generally found though is people at a social event do not hire people. I've never seen it happen.
Anyway, not sure how I drifted off on this topic. I guess I've just been seeing a lot lately about people saying eat less to lose weight. I don't believe that is completely true, and could be harmful in the long run. But, what the hell do I know?? I only know what works for me :)