14 December 2013

Facing down demons

Today was one of those days. I walked into Crossfit and saw the WOD on the board. The strength portion was max power snatch or power clean. Last week I did a lot of cleans, so many that my collar bones were a little sore. Those were out. That left snatchs. Back in April, I hurt my shoulder on a snatch. It's kind of been my nemesis ever since. I've done them, but I've always gone into it with fear and apprehension. Today I said, no way. I am going to own those snatches. I did not go crazy though. I started with the 30# bar. I did a few with those, then add 2-5# plates. I did a few with those and it was all good. Then I added two more 5# plates. I got a few of those even though it was beginning to get heavy. Next I added two 2.5# plates. I could not do the first one. I walked it off and tried again. I got the second one. I rested and tried again and screwed the lift up. Walked it off, tried again. This time I felt a little tweak in my shoulder. I walked it off and tried just one more time. I got it, no shoulder tweak, but it was kind of ugly. But I did it. I faced the demon and I conquered it.

The WOD then consisted of a choice between dips or push ups. I initially chose dips. I'm not sure why, I think I was avoiding the push ups. I did the first 2 rounds with dips but those push ups were screaming at me, so I got some bands out and switched to push ups. The push ups that almost defeated me the other day? I did them perfectly. Every single one. Only a few were really, really hard. Most of them were just hard. I ended up doing 42 of those bad boys. I was pretty darn proud of myself. We also had knees to elbows and that bothered my shoulder a little bit, but not too badly. Afterward I had Andrew wrap my shoulder and that helped a bit. Now I'm going to shower and put some cryoderm on it.

This was all a huge success today, but more important is the change in my attitude. Not only did I not complain when I saw the strength and the WOD, I decided to make those moves my bitch. Also, the dips were hard and I probably needed work on them, but I wanted to do those push ups. I really, really wanted to do those push ups. That is so weird for me. The truth is, it's not weird for me. Not at all. I generally want to do things I'm not good at just because I'm not good at them. But in fitness it's a little different. I tend to cave when it comes to fitness. So I'm extremely excited about this attitude and I want to keep it. I like it.

13 December 2013

Maintaining focus

After two fabulous WODs, I hit Wednesday. The WOD itself wasn't so bad but there were pushups. Even that by itself was not so bad, but my coach made me do them the strict military way. No part of your body touches the floor except your chest. That's all fine and good except that I have a super weak upper body and always, always, always do my pushups with my whole body hitting the floor. But not Wednesday. I did about 90 pushups that way and it freaking hurt. It hurt bad. I started to get angry with myself because I was struggling so much with them. After I was done and headed home I had to talk myself down. I had to remind myself how far I have come. Just a few short months ago, I would not have been able to do pushups like that. Now I did the entire workout that way. They were hard but not impossible. I need to keep my vision focused on the positive. I am steadily making progress. My shoulder is not bothering me at all. My knee is soooo much better than just a few weeks ago. I'm doing the best that I can and pushing myself as hard as I can. I am 54 years old and doing Crossfit on a regular basis. That is so freaking awesome. I have to keep focused on that. My goal is to get a little better everyday. That's all. With that in focus, I must celebrate all the small victories.

10 December 2013

I really am

It has been a rough year in Crossfit for me. I injured my shoulder back in April and that has taken forever to get better. It is still weak but at least I can move it now. Then my knee acted up. It was swelling and hurting and not much fun to have. There have also been a number of little aches and pains along the way, my elbow, my back, etc. Things got so bad at times I thought about quitting. But I always managed to talk myself into staying on and keep trying. I struggled with what I could do also. Before my injuries, I was making great progress. Lifting heavier and heavier, doing more and more. It was truly amazing. Then my injuries and I had to back way down. That upset me mentally. It was hard to have been so strong and now to be so weak. But I did and spent most WODs angry with myself. Then, the other day, I decided to just give it up. I accepted that I was older than most. Heavier than most. Slower than most. I just needed to accept where I was and do the best I could from that point. Wow, what a difference an attitude makes. Yesterday I had a really good WOD, but didn't get too excited as they happen once in a while. Today I had another awesome WOD. Two good WODs in a row? That is unusual. Tonight I also went heavier. A comment last night made me think that I was cheating myself and playing it safe. So tonight, for the first time in months, I went AV. I not only went AV, I stuck with it the entire WOD. It was hard, it was real hard, but I stuck with it and got it done. I feel awesome. I feel amazing. It's like that is just what I needed to give me a little boost. I'm going to try and keep this attitude but also not play it too safe. It's good to feel strong.

08 December 2013

That fine line

There is a fine, very fine, line between listening to your body and giving up. I'm not sure which side of that line I ended up on today.

After working on my school assignment, getting it posted, and eating a good breakfast, I headed out to Crossfit. I was a little apprehensive about the WOD considering the last 4 days, plus the fact that it was the coach's birthday and birthday WODs are usually brutal. But I was looking for a butt kicking so I went.

The WOD was as follows:
5 rounds for time:
12 bar over burpees
8 handstand push up
13 kb swings
82 double unders (2x singles)
31 clean & jerks

I got through the first round and thought I was going to die. During the second round I was positive I was going to die. During the third round I think I did die. By then everything hurt. All the jumping was getting to my knee. My shoulder was acting up. I was a mess. I got through the burpees, push-ups, and kettlebell swings for round 4, but I just could not do the jump rope. My knee hurt and I was dying. So I quit. I sat down and gave up. After a couple of minutes I did try to do the clean & jerks but I only got 8 of the out. I was pissed because I let myself quit instead of pushing through. But things hurt. So did I do the right thing by stopping because it hurt, or should I have pushed through a little more.

It's a delicate balance between when to push and when to back down. I think, today, I did the right thing. I have not done anything in 4 days and my body is full of crap. It will take time to recover from that, not long, but time. So while I am a little upset with myself that I didn't push harder, I'm basically okay with the WOD. I have to walk that line and sometimes I'm just not sure which way it went.


This is kind of how I feel today. Bloated. Huge. Unbelievably fat. I spent the last 4 days at a residency for my Ph.D. It was on the Big Island and it was good, but my eating and working out went to crap. Let's see what happened.

Wednesday I was up at 3am to make a 5am flight. I had some coffee but that was all. Met my friends in Kona (that is a whole other story) and we headed out. Stopped at Starbucks around 7:30am for breakfast and got to the hotel where it was being held around 8:30ish. Spent the morning sitting in seminars and then they fed us lunch. As you might have guessed it was mostly carbs. Plus the desserts. Lots of desserts. The afternoon was spent sitting in more seminars and around 5-5:30 we were free to go. As you might imagine I was exhausted and settled for fast food for dinner.

Thursday was very similar except that I met a friend for dinner that night. That was super fun and I'm glad I got a chance to see her.

Friday was more of the same again. I did have some down time on Friday that I used to take a walk to the petroglyphs that were on the hotel property. I walked along the King's Trail for about an hour and that was fun. Felt good to move. Followed by sessions Saturday that ended at noon. After which we went to Kona, had a Mexican lunch and walked around for about an hour, then headed to the airport for the flight home.

So as you exercise was at a minimum and crappy food was at a maximum. My stomach feels huge and I can not stand it. Needless to say, today is back to Crossfit and hardcore Paleo for a bit. I also have some school work due today so I will be spending time sitting in this chair working. I'm hoping to keep it to a minimum and get my stuff done quickly.

Okay, off to get some work done and then head to Crossfit.

Social media holiday

I've decided to take a break from social media. I spend far, far too much time just scrolling through Facebook. Yes, I get a lot of in...