22 March 2014


This week has been so stressful, it is insane. I generally try hard to keep stress in my life to a minimum, and generally do pretty well with that. But this week has been the lead up to the prom. Being a control freak and having to rely on high school girls creates a very stressful situation for me. All this week I have had a headache that just will not go away. My eating has been crap. Either I haven't been eating at all or I've been eating junk. I find it interesting how I deal with stress. As I said, I generally keep stress to a minimum by either doing Crossfit and eating right, or just trying to tackle things head on. Oh, and knowing when I can't control things and letting them just happen. So seeing how the stress this week has manifested in my body is incredibly interesting. I can't imagine how people live with this all the time. And people do. Yuck....

Part of the stress was trying to figure out how to fit in 14.4. I was thinking I could do it this morning, or maybe tomorrow. Then I thought I could do it on Monday morning since results don't need to be in until 3pm. All these thoughts running around adding to the already high stress level. Then 14.4 came out. 14 min AMRAP: 60 cal row (about 1000 meters), 50 toes to bar, 40 wall balls, 30 cleans, 20 muscle ups. WTF!!!!! Seriously!!!!! I looked at that, knowing that the row would take me 5 mins or so and I would be drained and I can't do toes to bar, let alone 50...Screw it....I'm passing on this one.... I can't do that many of anything and the added stress was just not worth it. I'm over the open.... So that was one less thing to stress about.....

So tonight is the prom and after setting up last night, I can already feel the stress leaving me. I was hungry last night - haven't been hungry most of the week. I slept really good last night and my neck is starting to relax. I think once it actually starts at 6pm tonight, I will be just fine. Then it will just be a matter of getting through it and cleaning up. Then I can really begin my 2-week spring break. I am so looking forward to that. And I am so thankful that this prom is right at the beginning of break. I would hate to waste a week of my break feeling like this.

So I will get through tonight, tomorrow will be a bit of a recovery day. I may do Crossfit, I don't know. Then Monday it is back to real life. Crossfit, ultra low carb, and taking care of myself. Yeah!!!!

16 March 2014

Self Sabotage

Self sabotage is something I am an absolute master at. Looking back over my life I can see the pattern over and over again. I will be doing something, aspiring towards something, making great progress, feeling good, then wham. I do something that screws everything up. There are only a few things I have not done that with and a few areas where I have done it and it worked out okay anyway. It started to happen with Crossfit. I started in September of 2012. For a year I did amazing, felt like a rockstar, got heavier and heavier, lost weight, all that stuff. Then I got an injury and rather than take care of the injury I kept going. I got another injury and rather than take care of the injury, I kept going. I got frustrated because I was injured. I ate like there was no tomorrow. I gained weight, I felt like crap, and all my workouts felt like crap. It took a long time, but I managed to work my way through it and I'm now in a really, really good place with Crossfit. I can see it happening with food. Again.

I did the Paleo challenge from Jan 15 to Feb 28. I lost 10 lbs and more important felt really, really good. Then on Feb 18, I started the carb night solution. I kept it really low carb during the week and had a carb night on the weekend. That actually works out really well for me, I know I get to eat whatever I feel like in just a couple days so sticking to a super low carb diet is easy during the week. I was doing great for 3 weeks. Then last week things started to get squirrely. I did good all week then Friday things started to fall apart. No! Looking back on it now I realize that is not true. I had my carb night on Friday, that was fine, the problem was yesterday and today. And now looking back, it was not that bad. I had taco bell yesterday and some ice cream. Today I had some candy and some goldfish. Oh lord, hardly enough to get crazy about. And therein lies my problem. Until I really put some brain power to it, I just kept thinking I had eaten all weekend. Those thoughts were leading me to consider that maybe I should scrap carb night. And that, my dear, is how you sabotage yourself in 3 easy steps. Crazy. I've worked very hard to eliminate that all or nothing thinking, but sometimes it just creeps back in and sneaks up on me.

On a better note, next week is the last week before two week spring break. I can not wait. Next week will be long, but I'll get through it. I'm so looking forward to break.

Social media holiday

I've decided to take a break from social media. I spend far, far too much time just scrolling through Facebook. Yes, I get a lot of in...