12 July 2014

The end is rapidly approaching

I can not believe that this summer is almost over. When I was 'let go' I could not imagine how I would make it through the summer. Now, here we are at the end of it. The teaching world is kind of weird. I want this last chapter of my life to be over and done with, but it really won't be until I start at the new school. I'm so looking forward to that. I've been hitting the sales and stocking up on new clothes. I am going to completely reinvent myself for this new school. At the old place, there was so much negativity and dissention in the ranks, that it was easy to not really care. Not care about how you looked. Not care about how you taught. Not care about a lot of things. Just walking around the new place, it is completely opposite. Everyone has pride in the school, student and staff/faculty. Order is not only expected, but demanded. Shoot, the kids wear slacks, shirts, and ties to summer school. That right there shows a level of pride and belief in what they do, so much so they don't reduce their standards. Ever. Nice. I also really like that there are no free dress days. They are allowed to wear school polo shirts on Monday and Friday, but no free dress. That just shows that they believe enough in what they are doing that they will not lower their standards for any reason. Once you start offering free dress as an incentive for doing well, you have reduced your normal dress code to penalty status. You can't make the grade, you were the uniform. You did well and earned good grades, you get to wear whatever you like. There are many ways to look at everything, but when you are so blinded you can only see your way, this is what happens. So at the new school, everyone is allowed to wear school polo shirts on Mondays and Fridays, but it is uniform/dress code the rest of the week. Nice. This builds a sense of pride in the school.

Anyway, next week is my last week of freedom. On the 21st I start the AP institute to learn to teach AP Chem. That lasts a week. Then I have Monday off, and orientation on Tuesday, followed by meetings on Wednesday and Thursday and school on Friday. Yikes. There is so much I still want to do. Mainly paint the bathroom. I think I will tackle that on Monday. If I can get my schoolwork done, I'll start taping it on Sunday. We'll see how that goes.

Okay, enough of this. I'm off to get ready for Crossfit and kick my own butt this morning.

09 July 2014

Things are coming together

Last night's navel gazing post may not make a lot of sense, but it was something I needed to work out and process. It helped me a lot. Having said all that, pieces are starting to fall into place. I am greatly enjoying Crossfit again, which is good because I had lost the spark for a while there. I'm not stressing over eating, but it is going well. I'm comfortable in my own skin even if I would like there to be less of it. I'm not obsessing over it like I usually do. So it's all coming together, I'm feeling happy and loving life.

Having said all that, I can not get my act together with school. I did not finish my paper yesterday and it is due today. I don't do things until the day they are due. WTF?????So now today I have a paper, a discussion post, respond to a discussion post all due. Guess what I'll be doing today? Sitting right here on my butt working. Why can I not get things together? Oh well, something to keep working on I guess. I'll never be perfect so I should quit thinking I can be.

Now here's a horrible problem to have today, my hand is going numb. I have carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands and while I'm typing my right hand is going numb. This is not good. This will make it very difficult to do my work today. This will have to stop.

Okay, enough whining. I'm off to shower, eat breakfast and settle in for some serious writing.

08 July 2014

Can someone really change?

I've often wondered that. In many ways, I know with all my heart that the answer is yes. I have changed in many, many ways over the years. So I know it can happen. But do we really change? Do we really, fundamentally change who we are, or do we just learn to act differently. I have been thinking about this for a number of reasons. First, I am not a neat person. Looking at my desk right now, there are stacks of files, mail, earphones, etc. all jumbled all over it. I know where everything is and I know what needs to be done with everything, but anyone looking at this would know I'm not neat at all. I have tried to conquer this a number of times, but it only lasts for a short time. Can I ever truly be organized? I don't know.

Another thing is the way I dress. I know, it sounds weird, but hear me out. I teach chemistry, so I tend to dress in clothes that are easy to move in and I don't mind getting destroyed. I have decided to change that at my new school. I have decided to dress like a professional regardless of what I am doing that day. Towards that end I have been hitting the sales stocking up on dresses and professional clothes. I am looking forward to reinventing myself and really starting over. I wonder if I'll be able to follow through though. I am a very casual dresser. I am more comfortable in pants and tops. So can I change and really reinvent myself? I'm willing to bet I can and I'm going to try.

Along those same lines, as I was shopping something changed. I picked out clothes that I really like and I found they looked good on me. I felt good in them. I'm on the heavy side right now, but I still liked what I saw and I bought things that made me feel pretty. While I'm not completely happy with the way I look, I'm moving closer and closer to acceptance. For me acceptance is the thing that really causes change. Once I accept myself just the way I am, things start to change. I'm getting closer and closer everyday.

Alright, enough navel gazing. These are the things that run through my head during the day.

07 July 2014

Nightly Recap

Today was an interesting day. Hubby went off to Maui for the day so it was up early to drive him to the airport. After Crossfit, Terminix came to spray the house. We started their quarterly service about 2 years ago and have found it to be one of the best things ever. Living in Hawaii, roaches and bugs are pretty much a fact of life. I have never been able to keep bugs out of the house. Since starting Terminix we are a lot closer than we have ever been. The only roaches I see nowadays are dead or dying. So that was today. Then I spent about 90 minutes trying to deal with unemployment. OMG!!! Government workers are the worst ever!!!! I like to think that they are not like this on purpose. I prefer to imagine that it is the insane government rules and departments not having enough staff. At least in my fantasy land that is what's happening. I filed UI 2 months ago. After not hearing anything for 1 month I called. I was told that they were trying to confirm my job seperation with my previous employer. Okay, the guy outlined the number of calls he had made, the time limits given, etc. I said okay, I would wait. Today was 2 months and I have not heard anything in the last month. So, after dialing the UI office 40 times, I finally got through. The girl answered and put me on hold right away and I was going to stay on hold no matter how long it took. It took a good 5 minutes or so. When I finally got to my case worker he started telling me the lies my ex-employer was telling him. What a load of crap. It's not surprising though. The principal has a way of rewriting history to conform to their warped view of it. This person has the ability to play the victim like no other. Although the principal insists on making every single decision, they still manage to blame everyone but themselves when things go wrong. Never, for one minute, would this principal think they created this situation all by their self. Whatever. That principal will have to face the consequences of their actions at some point in time. Unfortunately, they will probably take the school down with them and that is too bad. I'm going to continue to fight for it just because no one ever stands up to this principal.

I did start writing a paper that is due on Wednesday. I want to finish that tomorrow and get it turned in. I also have to start working on my premise. I think I will begin that tomorrow. I need to find some old papers I've written and review them and put my premise together. I also need to check on a discussion and then write a new discussion. Tomorrow will be a lot of computer work and writing.

That was today. Frustrating but I am trying to maintain my calm. Just thinking about that place causes my blood pressure to rise. I am so glad to be out of that place. I can not wait for the new year to start. Of course, I need to get my planning hat on. I've done some planning but not enough. I need to get working on that. I guess I will spend the next 2 weeks working on all the things I need to get done. Yikes!! I guess that's what I get for enjoying myself for 2 months.

06 July 2014

Not quite as I planned

I updated yesterday's post by crossing off things I completed on my to-do list. I really love having a to-do list and I love crossing things off of it. The downside is, I hate having things left over on it. And yesterday I did have somethings leftover. Not many, but a few. And unfortunately my no nap plan failed. I ended up taking a really short nap, like 10 minutes. The majority of my to-do list got completed so I should be happy and consider it a huge success. That's what I'm going to focus on.

Today's to-do list is a little simplier:

Track food
Track food
Walk dogs
Track food

That's it. Of course that schoolwork is going to take a whole lot of time, but I've got to get it done. So, let's see how today goes.

Update: I did not track my food today. Hubby made breakfast before I even realized it so I lost track of the food rather quickly. In my defense, I did not eat that much. I was never full, only satisfied. When I got hungry I had some fruit. So I'm still taking it as a win. I got the schoolwork done, which did not take as long as I thought it would. Laundry, check. Walk dogs, check. I meant to add some mobility in there too. I need to start doing it at night for my knee, but that's for another post. The really big news is that I tackled a task that I have been putting off for a long, long time. It was one of those things that I didn't want to do and it kept getting larger and larger in my mind and it was causing me some stress. Today I did it. It's not over, but I have taken the first step and that is huge. HUGE. I'm so relieved. So that kind of makes up for everything else. I've been wanting to do this for months and months and just kept avoiding it. That, of course, made it bigger and bigger and more stressful. If I had just done it at the time I would have not had this. But whatever, the important thing is I did it and now I can move on with my life. So happy. Okay, just wanted to post this little update so I don't forget. Off to walk to the dogs.

Completely out of control

What is it with me and free time? I had last week off and things literally spiralled completely out of control. I've lost track of the...