20 September 2014
Many times when I write a post, I'm not exactly sure where it is going. Last night is a perfect example. I sat down to write a completely different post, but after staring at the screen for 20 minutes realized I needed to write something else. Writing is very cathartic for me and it really helps me to process things or dig up underlying issues that I may not even be aware of. It is one of the reasons I've kept this blog going even though I have no readers. It's for me. Anyway, last night, after I wrote that post, what I wrote was roaming around in my head. I think I hit on something super important and didn't even realize it. I have been running without lesson plans for a little bit now. That's not completely true as I know what I want to do, but the details are a bit fuzzy and I didn't have anything written down - it was all in my head. I finally realized what was happening. I always feel pressure to get to school early when I don't have a solid plan. Then, when I get to school, I invest all the time racing around figuring what I'm going to do for the day. Since I have 4 different classes, every spare moment is spent on one class or another. If I have chemistry first thing, my before school time is spent putting chemistry together. AP is always 5th period, so I would spend any free time in the morning prepping for AP. Astronomy usually gets pushed to the back burner and if nothing else comes up, we watch a video. So I would spend most of my day stressing about what I'm going to be doing in all these various classes. That is incredibly draining. No wonder I was completely exhausted by noon. I was mentally exhausted. So I spend this morning planning out the next 2 weeks for all my classes. In 2 weeks we have fall break, so I only need to get to then. I already feel lighter. I printed out all the worksheets we will be using. I put together a binder with all the agendas and worksheets. I am ready to go. I feel so much better already. Tonight or tomorrow I want to throw together a couple of power points and have those ready, and boom, I'm set for the next two weeks. This is why I keep this blog and this is why I continue to write.
19 September 2014
I've been sitting here staring at the screen for about 20 minutes and just can't seem to get started writing. Very unusual for me. I have a lot of things I want to write about, I just can't seem to get started. So let's take it one by one.
First, I'm completely exhausted. I have been most of the week. I'm not exactly sure why and it's bugging me. There is a number of possibilities and I think it's a combination of them all. First, a new school. Whenever you go to a new school it is similar to the first year. Not exactly, but similar. So there is that. Then there is having 45 minute classes, when I used to have 90 minute classes, and to seeing the kids every single day. I used to go days without seeing some of my students. I'm not complaining, I like this better, it is just exhausting. I used to create a lesson plan and it would take at least 2 days because the classes were spread over 2 days. Sometimes I didn't have to write a new lesson plan for 3 days because I wouldn't be seeing the kids. Now I need 4 lesson plans every single day of the week. That is a lot of work. So I think adjusting to the new school is taking it's toll on me.
Second, I'm on a no sugar/no wheat challenge for 31 days - I'm on day 5. It is always a struggle at the beginning as your body adjusts. So that could definitely be part of it.
Third, I'm trying to get into the habit of going to Crossfit at 5 am. This week I made it 2 out of 3 days. That makes me tired.
Fourth, I'm trying to switch my sleep schedule to work for Crossfit. I've started going to bed 30-40 minutes earlier than I normally do. I think, in a way, that is making me more tired as my body adjusts to a different schedule.
So there it is. Lots going on. Lots changing and I'm freaking tired. Really, really tired.
How am I planning on dealing with all this? Well, keep my schedule to adjust to it. Keep doing 5 am Crossfit to adjust to it. Keep doing the challenge to adjust to it. Spend an hour on the weekends planning the week to take that pressure off me during the week. The thing I am worried about is fall break. In 2 weeks - 2 weeks I can not believe it - we have a one week break. I'm afraid I'm going to lose any adjustments I've made over that week. I will have to work hard not to. Right now I need to eat dinner and get ready for bed :)
14 September 2014
One of the things I realized over the past 4 days is that I have been letting life toss me around. I have not been taking control. I have been reacting instead of being proactive. As a result, things are a bit of a mess. If you could see the desk I'm working on right now, you would see the outward manifestation of that mess. The desk is 6' long and I barely have room for my keyboard. The other manifestations of that mess is my weight, my lack of workouts, my last minute assignments, etc. No More!!!! I'm hitting the reset button and I'm starting over.
One of the really important thing I learned at the residency is that the writing of the dissertation is a long, arduous process. It can take a year or two if you are diligent and focused. I know that organization is not my strong suit and I know that I want to finish this dissertation quicker than anyone ever. But in order to do that I need to be uber organizer and not doing things at the last minute. So, today is resent day. We will be going to Costco for some food, I will stock up on salad makings there. I'm going to get the assignments that are due today, done, and start organizing for next weeks assignments. I need to look at my school agenda to see what is coming up there. And I need to clean and organize this desk. I also need to set aside time, everyday, to work on things. As much as I like saving it all for the weekend, that is just not a good model to follow. So I need to work on things every night for a bit. At least an hour. I need to develop that habit sooner rather than later.
Okay, lots to think about, lots to consider, lots to do. I'm going to get moving on the assignments due today and begin to get my life back in order.
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