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Showing posts from October 19, 2014

Losing Control

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This is how I feel right now. This is how I felt when I was lying in my bed, wide awake at 2am. All I could think about was the quizzes I have to give today that I haven't written; the grading that I need to do; the summary of a research article that is due tomorrow; reading more articles for my prospectus; the blog post that was due on Wednesday; the video that I have given zero thought to and that I should be editing right now; the wrist wrap I need to make for tomorrow night; the proctoring I have to do tomorrow; and the party that I am supposed to go to tomorrow night. Oh, and the fact that I really wanted to go to Crossfit tonight. There are only 24 hours in a day and for the next couple of days, I could really use about 50. I could also use some energy. This is all on top of the fact that my computer room has become a complete and total disaster,scratch that - my entire house has become a total disaster, which makes doing any of these things difficult at best. I need to ma…

Realization

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My plan is completely unsustainable and I need to revisit it. I awoke Monday and headed out to Crossfit. The first thing that should be noted is that I am not near as strong in the morning as I am in the afternoon. I have deadlifted 255#, but on Monday morning 175# was killing me. Also, I just can not push myself as hard in the mornings, at least at 5am. After Crossfit, I spent the day in agony. My feet and legs were killing me. Walking was such an effort it wasn't worth it. I came home on Monday and fell asleep on the couch for almost 2 hours. I had planned on walking the dogs, but since I could hardly walk, that just wasn't an option. I went to bed at 9pm and slept like a baby. The next morning, Tuesday, I got up at 5am and did my normal morning stuff, though I was still kind of tired. I couldn't decide what I wanted for lunch, so all I brought was cheese and salami. That was not enough. All day my feet hurt a bit, not near as bad as Monday, but still they were an issue…

Planning

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I have reached the point where I can no longer just go with the flow. I must make a plan and I must stick to it. I have a few things I dearly want to accomplish, but in order to make those things happen I must do other things.

I want to feel better physically. In order to do that I must eat right and workout.

1) Workouts happen at 5am. I have settled on that time and I'm not going to change it. I prefer to workout in the morning and that is the time they offer the class. I have gotten up for 5am workouts most of my life, this should not be any different. Now, in order for 5am workout to happen, I must get up at 4am. In order to get up at 4am, I must go to bed by 8:30pm. None of this is impossible, it just needs to happen regularly.

2) Eating right requires planning. Planning lunches and breakfasts. That means putting them together the night before so they are ready to go in the morning, especially if it is a morning of a 5am workout. I need to put them together every night so …

Under Pressure

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and it is of my own making. I have numerous things to do. Numerous..... yet I sit here playing games and not doing anything. I have to figure out my eating, that is important. I have to submit something to my dissertation mentor tomorrow, I have nothing. Okay, that is really all I have to do, but it sure feels like a lot of pressure on me. I think because I have so very little on the dissertation front. This is huge, and I have done no work on it at all. Okay, just putting this stuff in writing helps. When I don't articulate it, the pressure just builds and builds, and becomes much larger than it is. So let's figure something out. I need to submit something by tomorrow. I could read today and write something up this afternoon. I just looked at the outline and the guidebook and it is not as bad as I thought. I think I could put a rough, very rough, draft together today. I just need to focus and quit screwing around. Well, that has relieved the pressure considerably. I am going…