21 November 2014
It is almost 6:30 pm and I am declaring this day a success. I did exactly what I said I would do this morning. I did not eat until 10:30 when I had a salad. At 1:45 pm I had a banana, and after school I had some hummus and veggies. Then, even though I did not feel like it at all, I forced myself to go to Crossfit. It was just as brutal as I thought it would be. But I got through it. After I went to Blazin' Steaks and got my kim chee steak with no rice. I rock the house. I logged everything I ate and was still under my calories. I am awesome.
The problem is I still don't have any motivation. I ate well because that was all I had. I really had to force myself to go to Crossfit. I did not have a good time at all. I also did not get the high I normally get from a good WOD. Don't know where my motivation is and I don't know how to get it back. I need to do that. What is that saying, fake it until you feel it...well, that's what I'll be doing for the foreseeable future.
Woke up this morning not feeling as motivated as I had hoped I would be. But that doesn't matter. I am going to succeed today. I am going to make it a great day and I am going to feel amazing at the end of it.
The plan for today:
- No real breakfast. I have food to eat if I get hungry, but no formal breakfast today.
- I have a Starbucks salad for lunch, not the best choice but it will work for me today.
- Crossfit at 4 pm, no excuses!!!!
- Dinner will be steak from the steak place, no rice.
- Water, water, water, water. I want to spend the day running to the bathroom.
I want to lose this feeling of fatness. I feel so soft and squishy and I don't like it. Today will be a huge success. Tomorrow I will be going out to lunch, but I will plan for that later. Today I am motivated. Today I am strong. Today I will succeed!!!!!!!!!
20 November 2014
So that new start last weekend didn't go so well. Monday night I had a dinner meeting and ended up drinking beer and eating fried crap. Tuesday I was exhausted. Wednesday I was pretty tired too. Today, yeah, you get the idea. Tanked by one night. I wanted to take a day off all week, but am trying to save my time for January. So I've battled through it. But my eating and non-working out has been the result. I'm trying to remember if I've eaten a lot of crap and I don't think I did.
So I need to stand up and take responsibility. I need to track my food. All of my food. Every day. I need to get my saggy butt back to crossfit and get back into the groove of working out. I need to walk my dogs. I need to eat right. I need to stop letting one meal torpedo an entire weekend or week. I need to stop eating sugar and wheat. I need to take responsibility for my actions.
Okay, whew...now that I've blown my stack...let's get a plan.... Starting tomorrow I will track my food. All of my food. I will shoot for 1500 calories a day but will not lose my mind if I go over that. I will drink water like it's my job (another thing I have been falling down on) and I will workout. Maybe I should go back to my just one day.
For just one day I will:
- track everything I eat
- drink 2 flasks of water
- eat no sugar or wheat
- go to Crossfit
Just one day is all I ask. Just one day. Tomorrow is that day.
16 November 2014
I love new beginnings. I love new starts. Fresh pages. Unlimited futures. Most of the really good things that happened in my life is because of new start. What is that song? Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. It's true. To start something new, you have to let go of something old. So today I'm letting go of some old thoughts and habits. I'm embracing the new day and the chance to change things.
Today begins with a beating at Crossfit because I AM a Crossfitter. 9 am is the WOD. At 10 am there is a handstand clinic and since I desire to do a handstand push-up, I'm going. After that is the Weekend Warrior. I am doing all these things because I AM an athlete. I do these kind of things.
There will also be no sugar or wheat for the next week. I can do this. I have done this before, it is easy. So I am doing it again. Healthy, nutritious food only.
Mornings will start with writing. Starting tomorrow I begin my writing adventure. Every morning 30 minutes of writing will happen. Looking forward to that.
I AM an Athlete! I AM a Scholar! I AM a doctoral student!!
I feel like there are some things that people go through early in life that I never went through. I don't know why or even if it's true, but that is how it feels.
I heard this saying today and I thought it was really powerful. I tend to use words that are not positive. I tend to say I am lazy, I am tired, I am lazy. I say lazy a lot. I need to stop saying that and start saying positive things. I am smart. I am energized. I am motivated. I am.............
Need to get a hold of the eating too. I am a person who eats healthy food. I am a person who does not eat sweets..... I am..........
I need to go to bed......