20 March 2015
I have had a good week. After my mini-break down last weekend, the rest of the week went really well. I worked out like a fiend. I did some school work. I napped. I ate when I was hungry and didn't stress over food. I had lunch with friends. I had a good week. I'm glad I didn't waste the week being upset or getting crazy over stupid stuff. I just relaxed and enjoyed myself. I have some things that I didn't do and so I will spend the next 2 days getting those things done. But I'm still happy.
I've been eating normally. Not counting calories or stressing over carbs or fat or points or anything. I ate breakfast when I was hungry. I ate some lunch when I was hungry. And I ate dinner when I was hungry. I didn't stuff myself. I ate sweets but not a ton of them. And I felt good. I didn't feel fat all week. Could it be because there was no stress or could it be because I wasn't thinking so much about food that I just ate and ate and ate. Who knows. All I know is that I am feeling good, the weight is inching downward and I'm happy.
So I'll spend the weekend getting ready for next week. I finish up what I need to finish and I'll get things all ready for Monday morning. Then I'll start the new quarter and work towards the end of the year. Only 9 more weeks until school is over. Most importantly I will try to carry this good feeling with me. I will try to maintain this calmness and this new relation with food. I will try to eat when I'm hungry and not when the clock says I should. We'll see how it goes.
16 March 2015
I have read all kinds of articles on weight loss. Some say it's a matter of calories in vs calories out. Some say calories don't matter, it's what you eat. Some tell you not to count calories at all. I've done them all. I've counted calories, points, fat grams, carbs, blah, blah, blah. I've not counted anything and just ate certain foods. I've completely given up and eaten whatever the hell I've wanted. Yeah, that didn't work out so well.
Last night I did a little reflecting back on my life. The thing that worked really well for me was Weight Watchers. When I was solid into WW I lost weight and felt amazing. I can't say I've had both of those experiences on any other plan. I've lost weight on other plans but generally not felt amazing. I've felt amazing on other plans but generally haven't lost weight. WW is the only one that did both. And thinking about the whole calories in/calories out vs it's what you eat not how much, I think I might have found the sweet spot. It is how much you eat and it is what you eat. I could lose weight eating 1200 calories of junk food, but I probably would not feel very good. But if I ate 1200 calories of high quality food, I would lose weight and feel amazing. I'm not sure if I'm going to join WW again. The community and support were amazing and it may be just what I need. Hmmmm, I don't know. What I do know is that I am going to count calories. I figured last night that I need about 2700 calories to maintain my weight. So I'm thinking if I eat 1500 and workout out, I should be able to drop a couple of pounds this week. One of the articles I read said that small changes may be too close to really see results. Errors in calculating BMR or counting calories could remove any differences. So I'm going big. That, plus I know 1500 calories is okay for me.
Hmmm, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. Maybe I just need to see how it goes.
15 March 2015
I know that if I need to solve a problem, the best thing for me is to examine it from all sides and then walk away. Let it fester. I do this with problems. With assignments. With any issue that I need to find a solution to. Examine it. Look it over from every possible angle. Then walk away and just let it settle. My mind does something when I do that and I generally come up with a reasonable solution. Sometimes I don't, but most times I do.
After writing last night's post, I walked away and stopped thinking about it. When I woke this morning, I had an idea and a motivation. Hey, it works for me.
I had been viewing these different roads I have to travel as different. As if they were going in different directions and taking me to different destinations. They are not. They are all leading to the life I ultimately want to live. So here it is. I want to live on the mainland, where we own a house and an RV. I want to teach college and have summers/breaks off so we can travel in the RV. I want to visit the country, and the people I know who live all over it, with my dogs and Hubby. So see all roads lead to that destination.
In order to live this dream, I must complete my Ph.D. and get a job. That is one road.
I want to be healthy and in shape to get the most out of this dream. That is another road.
I want to do well at work so that I will get good references when needed, also because I always want to do my best. That is the last road.
But not really different roads at all. Just different parts of the journey. As with a real road trip, there are different parts to it. You need to know where you are going to stop for food, rest, or fun. You need to know how far you can get in a day, week, month, etc. There are different parts to every journey and this one is no different.
So it's a matter of switching my thinking. I will no longer view working out as taking away from time to write. I will view it as a part of the journey to writing. By working out I stimulate my thinking which generally leads to some good writing. It is all related and not different roads at all.
So with that all in mind, I now face the blank canvas of spring break. So rather than viewing these things as different roads I must travel, I will view them as one road with many stops.
The plan for this week:
- Get a draft of my prospectus in no later than Monday
- Have the discussions for my classes done no later than Tuesday
- Work on the assignments for both classes and get them finished by the end of the week.
- Crossfit every day.
- Walking the dogs every day.
- Strict paleo for the week
- Plan out the rest of the year for school.
Feeling much more positive and purposeful now that I have thought it through. Know where I want to be and have a good idea on how to get there. Now, some work before Crossfit.
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