12 September 2015

Definitely making progress

My overriding goals this week were just to walk every morning and work on my dissertation every night. I did that. Walking on the treadmill has become such a habit that I am making it a priority. Thursday night was back to school night and I didn't get home until late. I did not prep food for Friday or do any of the normal things. I got up Friday remembering that I had 3 labs to prep that day and kicking myself for not doing while I was at open house. I got up at 4:40, no food ready and a desire to get to school really early to get my labs ready. After getting the bird food ready and grabbing some coffee, I decided that I had enough time to get a short treadmill workout in. I have been doing 20 minutes this week, but thought I'd just do 15. After 15 I said, screw it let's do 20. So I did. I felt so proud of myself. Not only did I make time to get on the treadmill, but I ended up going longer than I planned. And I'm so proud that I made sure to get on every morning this week. You have no idea how proud I am of myself.

I have also made some progress working on my dissertation. I sat down on Monday and started doing some reading. As I was reading I was highlighting and taking notes. When I finished that article, I put the post-its so they stuck out and I could see them and it hit me. I am a visual person. I need notes and hard copies of things that I can write on and refer back to. Why am I trying to fight it??? I do not know. So I started going through all my articles and making notes, adding post-its, organizing them by topic, and adding them to my lit matrix. What I have discovered is multi-fold. I have a lot of good information already. I may have saturated the literature as I keep running across the same articles. I have a lot of duplicates - which pisses me off. But most importantly, my articles have broken down into a number of relevant topics. Who Knew??? The literature is handling itself. I haven't actually started writing, but I plan to this weekend. I'm getting a good idea of where this lit review is heading and the more I read the clearer it becomes.

So I am making huge amounts of progress in both areas of my life and I am super happy about that. The weather here has been horrendous; either humid beyond belief or raining with thunder and lightening. Just crazy. So I haven't walked the dogs much and I'm sad about that. But progress is being made and I'm super happy about that.

I started wearing my Vivofit again, not sure why but I kind of like it. Anyway, here is a chart of my steps for this week:

07 September 2015

I'm ready....

After last night's post, I sat and created a to-do list in my planner. I have a fabulous Passion Planner that I did not use in the month of August. When I use it, I find I am very productive. When I don't use it??? Not so much. So I dusted it off and made a to-do list for today. Today is Labor Day, so it's a good day to catch up on things I did not do over the weekend. The thing is though, now I'm sitting here waiting for Hubby to get up because the things on my list create noise. I just reread that sentence and realized I was using that as an excuse to sit on the computer and play around. Reading does not make noise. Walking on my treadmill does not make noise. Logging on to Phoenix or Walden does not make noise. This is truly what I need to work on; catching myself in these little lies that I tell myself. Yes, I need down time, but there are also little chunks of time that I can use to do something quickly. Like now and reading. I can't sit and read for hours straight, I fall asleep. So doing it in little chunks will work better for me. Okay, I am going to go check Phoenix and Walden and then do something productive.

Later that day: So I worked my list all day and feel really good about it. I did not complete everything. For example I had go to 24 hour fitness on there and I didn't make it. Part of that was because I got caught up in other things and part is that I just forgot and kept overlooking it. I am going this week though. I'm going to increase my morning walking on the treadmill. I also didn't get the house vacuumed because it was raining most of the day and the dogs were in the house. If I kicked them out to vacuum they would have come back all muddy and then I would have had to mop. I'm good with dog hair one more day. I will do that tomorrow. I'm feeling good because I had a plan and I basically stuck to it. It did not go perfectly, but then I'm not perfect. And I'm okay with that. I'm getting ready to head to bed now.

06 September 2015

Thinking, thinking.....

I know that I've been talking about doing a lot of things and not really doing them. I know that I'm not happy the way I am, but am not really doing much to change that. I have a tendency to go whole hog, all or nothing, balls to the wall. This has not worked out well for me in the past as I usually go for a bit then crash and burn. Hard. So I was trying to ease into it this time. Trying to slowly build up to major changes, instead of doing it all at once. I've been walking for at least 15 minutes in the morning and that has been good. I haven't been walking the dogs every night because some nights it is so freaking hot and humid no one wants to move. I joined 24 hour fitness but haven't managed to get over there yet. Hmmm..

Food has not been bad, except for the cookie binge Friday and Saturday. Hubby is all on board with the whole paleo thing so that is going well. I do need to monitor my caloric intake as I tend to not eat enough which makes me sick and tired.

My foot is almost completely better, and that is something I have been using as an excuse. A part of me was using it as an excuse and another part was hoping that by remaining fairly inactive it would clear up. That has helped but not completely. I can walk barefoot with little pain and I can walk with shoes on with no pain. So I think my excuse of foot pain needs to go away. Which means that I need to step up my activity. I need to get a workout in every day. I would like to do a little something in the morning and then stop at 24 hour fitness on my way home. I'm in rough shape, I need to pull out the big guns.

I also need to work on my dissertation. I got slightly inspired yesterday and did some organization. But today I have done nothing. I've watched bad TV. I've taken a nap. But nothing on my dissertation. I get moments of inspiration but then lose it. I need to develop the same outlook on my dissertation that I need on my workouts. Just do it. Schedule it and then just do it. Whether I feel like it or not, just do it. I need to just do it.

Which requires me to compartmentalize my life. I need to be extremely productive at school and let my TAs help me out a lot. I need to get school work done at school and leave my home time free for home stuff.

I always say that I work well with a to-do list, I can go back to that. I have not had a to-do list for home stuff in forever. There is plenty of time during the day to get everything done that I need to get done, but if I spend hours watching TV, playing games, and napping, there is not enough time. There is also plenty of time to do what needs to be done and spend some down time in the pool or doing something I like. Also, a to-do list will keep me focused on the things I need to do and therefore I won't spend time trying to figure out what I should do next.

I need to just schedule things and do them. I don't put my classes off at school, well, once in a while, but I can't because they are scheduled and the students show up. I have to be ready and I have to do something, whether I feel like it or not. I cannot wait until I feel like it because I will never feel like it. Or I will not feel like it often enough.

I've been feeling very down on myself and I think I have finally hit on why. I've been waiting to feel inspiration to do these things. I've been waiting for external motivation and it is never going to come. Never.

As usual, I think I have managed to talk my way through this issue and I know what needs to be done. It is a matter of doing it. Just do it. I am no longer allowed to say that I don't feel like it. I am off to get things planned out for tomorrow.

Must be

at least for Paleo. I tried to do it this week in a half assed kind of way. It didn't work so well. In fact, it led to a cookie binge that lasted 2 nights. Not good. The problem is multi-faceted. First, I did not have any dressing for my salads so I thought I could just use regular dressing. That was a mistake. Second, I don't think I was eating enough calories. I was hungry, very hungry. That led to Starbuck's for breakfast on Friday, which led to pot pie and cookies for dinner on Friday, which led to cookies last night. I think I need to be more strict with myself, especially in the beginning. On the up side, I feel pretty good and lost like 2 pounds in spite of myself. So that is pretty awesome.

We are arranging for mediation with the neighbors. I'm being an as*hole and dragging out the process as long as possible. Just because I can :). I have reached the point where I no longer care about them or what they say or what they do or anything. So every little chance I get to f*ck with them is awesome.

The Phoenix class is almost over, it ends tomorrow. I figured out that with the time they expect me to put in and what they pay, I'll be making a whopping $9 an hour. I'm not sure that the work is worth it. I am mostly committed to giving it a try, but I'm kind of against it already. We shall see. I'm hoping to finish up the last requirements today and be done with it.

A week and a half ago I joined 24 hour fitness. I haven't made it there yet, but I'm thinking of going this afternoon. If not, then definitely on Monday - Labor Day woo hoo!!!! I need to get moving, get a workout program in place

That's about it. This week has been uneventful and just consumed with work. Maybe I'll write more later or tomorrow.

Wasting Time

I have no problem with wasting time in and of itself. Sometimes a little wasted time is good for everyone. I'm having a problem thoug...