26 September 2015
and I'm going to view it as a new start. I have been up for almost an hour now. I woke around 5 am and had to go the bathroom so I just decided to stay up. I haven't done much since I've been up, but I am wide awake now. I am torn as to what to do. I want to work on my dissertation but I also want to walk/run. I only have until around noon, because Hubby will be home and we need to go to Costco. That is going to involve lunch, probably beer, so the afternoon is kind of shot. Then I have to walk the dogs, no excuses today. I think I just decided to work on my thesis. I will walk this afternoon with the dogs, and maybe I'll even do couch to 5k with Axl. But I need to get some work done on my dissertation. Okay, it's been decided.
I've kind of come to grips with the fact that while I'm writing this, I will not get to do all the things I want to do. I would love to spend an hour a day working out, but that just does not look like it will be in the cards every day. I do believe though, that this will be the worst part. Once I get through the first 3 chapters, I think it will get a little easier.
Okay, enough nonsense I'm going to start writing.
25 September 2015
On Monday, we had meditation and ended up being there from 1 pm to 4:30 pm. We did not eat lunch before hand so we were pretty darn hungry. On the way home we grabbed some dinner. We also stopped at the bakery and picked up cookies and pastries. Very, very hungry. We came home and ate. And ate. And ate. I ate all night long. Unfortunately much of it was junk food, pastries and cookies and such. Tuesday I got up and did not feel like making breakfast, so I decided to go to Starbucks. Latte and yogurt parfait. Luckily I had leftovers that I brought for lunch. Come home, eat some donut holes while I wait for dinner. Hmmm....Wednesday, still not wanting to cook breakfast, I head to Starbucks again. Latte, yogurt parfait, and pumpkin scone. Really???? Had some leftovers again for lunch and it was pretty good. Came home and was really tired. Really. Tired. Took a nap. Had dinner. Ate some pastries. Watched TV. Went to bed. Woke up yesterday, Thursday, and could not get moving. Decided to go to Starbucks, yet again, for breakfast. Latte, yogurt parfait, and pumpkin scone. Are you for real???? Today's lunch was only salad and about 4 oz of steak. Not a whole lot. By the end of the day I was tired. Driving home I was exhausted. Bone weary tired. I came home and took a little nap. Had a pastry. Ate some dinner. Cleaned the kitchen. Watched some TV. The entire time I felt like crap. I was so tired, I was ready for bed at 6 pm. It was horrible. I was seriously wondering if I was coming down with something. I felt like crap. Ended up going to bed by 8 pm and think I immediately fell asleep. I woke up around 2 am and felt really awake, but did not get up until 4:45 am. When I got up, I felt pretty okay. But I decided that food was the issue. I made myself a big breakfast, 3 eggs and 3 sausages, a big lunch; 2 large sausages, peppers, and onions. I also brought some coffee drink with me for the afternoon. I ate well all day. I got home and was tired, but not like yesterday. I did nod off in my chair but that was because I was sitting in here doing nothing. About 5 pm I got up and pulled out an entire pound of ground beef - that was an accident I didn't want that much. I then chopped up peppers, onions, and brussels sprouts and fried everything together. And I ate the whole thing. It was amazing with a little ketchup on it.
So a couple of things to note. Even though I had large meals, I never felt stuffed or overfull like I get with carbs. Even now, I feel full but not stuffed in any way. Also, my energy levels were pretty constant all day long, even though we had a mass to sit through. Finally, I feel pretty good even now. I ate almost 1800 calories and it was all real food; meat and veggies. Food. Food. Food. Why do I keep doing this? Why do I not learn? Why is this something I am doomed to repeat?? Why? Why? Why?
I have also come to the realization that I need to workout. I have gone over a month doing nothing but walking and in the last 2 weeks I have done nothing at all. Time to get moving again. First thing in the morning.
So there you have it, food was the root of all evil. I have got to eat more. I have got to eat well. I have got to eat to fuel not to satisfy my sweet tooth. Lesson learned. Again.
20 September 2015
Yesterday, after breakfast, I sat down to get a start on my dissertation and it was like the flood gates opened. I wrote 6 pages and had 4 pages of references. I was hot. This morning I did some writing also, not as much as yesterday, but some. I'm on a roll. I think I can safely say, I'm on my way. I have started a dissertation blog here. I decided that I should track my journey for myself and maybe people in the future. I plan to try and write in it two or three times a week just to keep track of what I'm doing and when things occur.
In other news, there is no other news. Tomorrow we go to mediation with the idiot neighbors and I've spend most of the afternoon getting that stuff ready. Fun...I'm over this already. My goal is o get them to leave us alone. I'm tired of their childish behavior, their creating drama that doesn't exist, and their freaking nonsense. I'm over it. The good part about that is that I have the day off. That's kind of cool. I need to go in with the attitude that they can't piss me off and I'm going to try and piss them off. Ha ha ha.......
Okay, just wanted to touch base and check in. Almost dinner time and I'm getting hungry.
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