21 November 2015

Finding what works

Is truly harder than it sounds. I gave WW a good go, but I found a couple of things I suspected would happen. First, I got hungry. Whenever I stuck to my points, I got hungry. By the third or fourth day, I would be using my weekly points fairly significantly. Last week by Wednesday I had no weekly points left. And I did not go crazy at all. So that was a problem. Then there is the whole issue of what to eat. I wanted to try to eat typical food, sandwiches, etc. as those kind of things are fairly low in points. But I felt bloated. Wednesday and Thursday I actually felt like I was pregnant, my stomach was so large. I hate that feeling more than anything. So I decided I needed a change.

I had purchased the AltShift book back in September. When I bought it, I read it through, but then decided not to follow it for whatever reason. I'm guessing laziness but I could be wrong. Anyway, after feeling like a huge, blimp for a couple of days, I decided to give it a try. I really did like Paleo when I did it, so I thought this might work for me. I get tired doing the same thing over and over and over. This program calls for switching between high fat/low fat, higher carbs/lower carbs. Maybe it will keep me from getting bored if I can switch things up. Some days have rice/potatoes, some days avoid them. I'm hoping it will keep me interested and on track.

So I started yesterday and I have to say, I felt good. I ate - a lot - and I did not feel super bloated. I am still feeling a little bloated because of all the carbs I'd been eating on WW, but it is starting to abate. It will probably take a day or so, I'm okay with that as long as it doesn't get worse.

The entire point of writing this post was to try and work out if I want to go to WW. I have paid in advance, so I thought I'd go and use up what I paid for. But I have managed to drag things out for over an hour and now it's too late. If I leave right this second, I can still make it but I'm not dressed. So I guess there is my decision.

One of the things I get obsessive about, and I've talked about this before, is the numbers. How low can I go. How little can I get away with. I think I've broken through that thinking, I think I proved that with WW. So I think I can handle this now. At least I'm going to give it a good try. I will track to try and keep the calories up.

One last thing before I go. I am no longer working on my Ph.D. - at least for the moment - so I have no reason to spend most of my day sitting in this chair. I will not spend hours sitting here today. I have things I wish to do and I am going to do them.

Later that same morning: I finally got moving and did couch to 5k week 1 day 1. Ran at 4 mph for the first 4 rounds. Rounds 5 & 6 I upped it to 4.5 mph. For the final 2 rounds, I upped it again to 5 mph. Not only did I survive, but in many ways running faster felt better than running slower. Interesting. So 30 minutes and 1.58 miles. Not record breaking, but a fabulous start. Side note: my back did not hurt at all the entire time. On the final cooldown walk I felt a couple of twinges, but otherwise nothing. Yeah!!!

15 November 2015

Time for some focus

There are some things that I just can't control and worrying and stressing over them is completely useless. So I'm going to focus on what I can control. I managed to get through this week without doing too much damage. Hubby worked nights all week so eating was up to me. That is both good and bad. I did okay in that I did not go crazy - always a worry - but I really could have done better. So this week I'm going to do better. My focus this week is going to be no treats. I've been bad about that. Real bad. So time to get my act together. No sugary treats. My dissertation class is over and until I hear from the government, there is nothing really I can do. So I'm going to focus on eating and working out. I will be doing my walking and WODing in the mornings and I would really like to walk the dogs at night. At the same time, I like the relaxed feeling of being able to stay at work until 4 or so if I need to. So the walking the dogs may be a little iffy. Of course, there is no law that says I can't walk them a little later. I'll need to work on that.

I can't control the world, so I'll have to settle for my little piece of it.

Sliding, sliding, sliding

I realized years ago that I had a tendency towards depression. I don't get it as bad as some people, but I do get it. I feel like not doing anything. I spend far too much time sleeping, or watching TV, or just sitting. I spend far too much time in my own head. And I just feel sad. Well, it's happening again. The good news is that once I recognized it, years ago, it has become easier and easier to see coming. When I lived at the ranch, I swear I had been in a depressive state that had lasted years. That's when I first realized what was going on. Since then, I've become better and better at seeing what is happening. And this one I caught the minute it started. It began on Friday when I ran into the money obstacle. Friday I didn't do much of anything. Yesterday I didn't do much of anything. I napped. Watched TV. Went to bed early. That is one of my signs that it's happening, sleeping so much. I reach a point where I just don't know how to go on and so I sleep. Avoidance. My speciality.

So let's take a few minutes and really examine what would happen if I don't find a way to get the money. First, it would mean that I would have to suspend the completion of my Ph.D. Doesn't mean it's off they table, just on hold for a bit. What would that do to our moving plans? Well, we could move them up and year and go now - though not my first choice. They could also stay on track and do just like we planned. It would free up a lot of my time. I would no longer spend hours every day thinking about my dissertation. I could actually do fun things, like crafts, workout, take pictures. I could start working on getting the house in order by cleaning and organizing. Okay, the more I think about it, the more appealing it sounds to take a break from it. It would really not be so bad to take a break, focus on getting the house ready for the move, moving, and then picking up where I left off. I would be fresher and more ready to tackle it. Plus I would be out of here.

So, what have I learned from this little experiment? That this may be a gift in disguise. That it really wouldn't be so bad if I had to take a break from it for a bit. That yes, it will change things, but not necessarily for the worse. I always, always, always, say and truly believe that things work out the way they are supposed to. It may not be the way we want, but it is the way its supposed to be. And frequently:

The best time of the year

It's amazing the things you get used to. I am entering my 10th year of being a teacher and I honestly cannot remember how I worked all...