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Showing posts from December 6, 2015

Some quick thoughts before bed

First, I'm wondering if my issues with caffeine could be blood sugar related. This came up years ago when I consulted a dietician for some blood sugar issues I was having. She recommended I wean myself off coffee. I, of course, didn't listen to her and continued to drink the black gold. Now though, I'm wondering if this might be an issue.

Second, I am sick and tired of feeling so fat and tired. I am also in complete control of what I put in my mouth. Tomorrow things change. Tomorrow I will take control of my life again. Tomorrow I take action instead of just reacting. Tomorrow is cooking, shopping, and planning for the week.

What if......

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What if I stopped all this nonsense about eating and weight loss and size and everything........

What if, instead of beating myself up I showed myself the love and understanding that I show others.......

What if, instead of focusing on what I do wrong, I focus on what I do right......

What if, I just accepted myself, like I do my students, and just tried to do my best each day.......

What if, I showed myself the love I show others......

Time to start living the what if..........

I should end the post here, but I'm not. I need to write. Whenever I am making transitions, I tend to write more.

So the last couple of days, I've been getting these weird sensations in my body after I drink my coffee. Today I think I only drank about 1/2 a cup before I just put it down. My insides were like electrified and humming....I have no idea how to explain it. I may have to give up coffee.... Kind of a bummer, but not the worst thing in the world I could give up.

Choices...it all comes down …

Almost made it.....

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to Crossfit that is. Today is the day I don't have an 8th period, and how convenient that it falls on a Friday. The last Friday before Christmas break. I haven't been feeling 100% lately. In the mornings I get this weird electric, itchy thing that happens. In the afternoons I am completely and totally exhausted. I know part of the problem is not working out. At all. So I was thinking I'd go to Crossfit tonight. Fridays are usually pretty quiet and I could leave school early since I have no 8th period. I did leave during 8th period, but I came home and collapsed on the couch. I slept for over an hour. I hate this. I really, really do. I don't know what to do except for workout more. My food hasn't been perfect, but it hasn't been that bad. I don't know. I just don't know.... I do know that I am going to the mall right now to grab some dinner....or maybe I'll grab some pizza....hmmmmm.......... actually, I think I'll go jack in the box and get a…

Well that went well......

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My plan was to write here more regularly and it's been 4 days since I've been here. That doesn't work very well. I feel like I'm stuck. Stuck and I'm not sure how to get out. Here's the deal:

First, I've put the Ph.D. on hold because of money. I'm hoping to come up with a way to finish it, but I'm not seeing anything yet. Of course, it's been about 2 weeks, so I may be jumping the gun. I need to find a way and I need to be open when it presents itself.

Second, I just learned that Phoenix is not going to hire me. I'm not sure this is a bad thing. I'm still not sure it was worth it. I spent 5 weeks facilitating that course and make $1100. Wow. That is a lot of work for not a whole lot of money. I wasn't sure I wanted to do it to begin with, so I'm okay with that. I just feel bad because they didn't want me :( They were supposed to want me and I was supposed to turn them down. Ha, childish, I know.

Third, the complete lack …

Return to writing

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I started this blog 11 years ago with this post. In that time, much has changed, but many things have remained the same. I am still struggling with my weight. As far as my weight goes, not a lot has changed in 14 years. Still struggling with consistency in workouts and eating. Ugh!! Will I never learn!!!


But other things have changed significantly. I was able to see patterns within myself. I have been able to make some great changes in other areas of my life. So I guess it hasn't been a totally lose. Also, I think people make the changes they need to at the times they need to. I've never been one to learn something the first time. I've had to relearn things over and over. I'm okay with that, I just wish the weight loss part would stick.

But over the years I have learned a lot about myself and as a result have been able to change some bad habits. Heck, I was horribly with money and yet I managed to get us a house. So things are improving.

One of my problems seems to …