22 January 2016
This is something I hate to talk about. Money. I'm not good with it. I was never taught how to handle it and I've made a lot of mistakes along the way. But over the years I've learned to be okay with it. Still not as good as seemingly everyone else in the world, but I get by. A few years back, my student loans were coming due. We were in far worse financial situation at that point, and I really wanted to get a Ph.D. I made the decision, probably a bad one, to go get my Ph.D. It would delay my student loans and when I had it I would make a lot more money and could pay my student loans. This was probably a mistake. But I did it. Well, in November I ran out of money to complete my Ph.D. and had to stop. I am now facing the repayment of my student loans starting up again. I am in a better financial position, but not that much better. So now I am facing that same situation again and I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
There are options and I'm just not sure which one is the best one. I could get a part time job. I'm not working on my Ph.D. so I have some spare time, so a part time job would not be out of the question. I'm definitely getting a part time job over the summer. I hope that Kamehameha needs me this summer. I may still get a part time job on top of Kamehameha. That would bring in some money.
I could give up Crossfit. Again. I really like Crossfit though and am only going 8x a month. I do need to give up the 24 membership though, not even using that at all.
I had hoped we'd be able to refinance the house, but turns out that is not possible. I don't want to do that anyway. I want to get the most money possible out of this place, so refinancing and taking some money out is not what I want to do.
The thing I keep coming back to is that we could leave Hawaii earlier than planned. The plan was to wait until next year because of my Ph.D. and Hubby's social security. We sell the house. We clear $250,000. We move to the mainland. We pay cash for a place. We settle down and start over. Why delay it another year now? We are going to struggle and scrimp and suffer for another 15-16 months and then do it. Why wait? Why not do it now? It will take a lot of work, but it could be done. This way, we move to the mainland and I will have the money to continue my Ph.D. and get a higher paying job. I have seen houses for under $100k in Kingman, AZ. That would leave us $150k to get an RV, invest, pay bills, whatever. But it would put us in a much better financial position. By the time we got there and got settled, Hubby would be getting social security, I get paid through the summer, so we would have money to start. I could start looking for work in AZ now. I cannot see why we should stay any longer. UGH!!!!! Convincing Hubby is going to be the problem.
I feel like I'm at a crossroads and need to make the right choice or everything will fall apart. I just don't know what to do and I wish someone would just tell me which choice is the right choice.
18 January 2016
This was my step count from yesterday. Highest day I've had in a long, long time, possibly a year or so. I'm very, very pleased with those numbers. There was a time when I would hit numbers like that all the time. Then I started Crossfit and that stopped happening. I realize now that when I started Crossfit, I thought that was enough. I really stopped moving outside of Crossfit. I really thought that Crossfit would be enough to keep me going. It was not. When I first started Crossfit and was losing all that weight, I also did not have a car and was riding my bicycle everywhere. I realize now that it was the bicycle riding that was helping me lose weight, the Crossfit just enhanced that. I had it backwards. It has finally hit me that moving; walking, biking, running, etc; is what helps you lose weight. It is definitely important to lift weights too, but movement is the key. Every single weight loss program that I have any respect for, tells you to get as much movement in as possible. Go for a walk, a hike, whatever, just walk and move. Well, that only took 56 years to set in.
In my effort to get back into running, I've started taking walking more seriously. I now realize that if I walk a whole lot more, I will lose more weight and if I lose weight I will be able to run, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. So yesterday I had 4 miles on the schedule. Yikes!!! I haven't walked 4 miles straight in probably 4 years. But it was on the schedule, I was going to do it. So I laced up my squishy shoes and headed out. 4 miles would be up to the college and 3 laps around it, then home. I did that. I hit my total steps for the day before 10 am. I then went to Costco to stock up on healthy food to fuel this journey. When I came home I was exhausted. I had forgotten how tired serious workouts make you. So it was lunch, then a quick nap on the couch. After the nap, I got up and got ready to walk the dogs. I was tired. My feet hurt. But I was determined to get those steps in.
In November I got a new Vivofit 2 because my other one had died completely. This one also does heartrate, my old one did not. In December I ordered a heart rate band. I did not actually start using the two together until last week, but whatever. I now use the heart rate band and the timer part of my Vivofit to track every activity I do.
I go in afterwards and label what they were, but now I have a running record of each activity I did, distance, time, calories, heart rate, etc. I love numbers. I love looking and seeing that last week I walked 3 miles and burned 400 calories, this week I walked 4 miles and burned over 700 calories. Why? Did I walk faster? Was my heart rate higher? What happened? I love looking at these things. So stats are great for me.
I used to get way hung up in the numbers. I used to look at them and say, wow, if I burned 700 calories and only ate 500 that would be a net loss of 200 calories. I'm not thinking like that anymore. I tired very hard yesterday to hit my macros and I still fell short. I ate as much as I could and it still was not enough. I think I've gotten my food is fuel mindset back. I do not look at food as anything other than something to fuel my workouts. If I want good workouts, I need to put in good food. Just like in my car.
Okay, I'm stoked about yesterday, but have been sitting on my ass all morning working on this. Time to get up and get moving. I know I'm not going to match yesterdays numbers, but I need to at least reach my goal, which is 10,000.
17 January 2016
I am proud of the progress I am making. I am not perfect. I don't do everything exactly right every single time. But I find I am making better choices more often than not and that my dear, is progress. This morning I will be walking 4 miles as part of my Great Aloha Run training. Ugh!!! I really don't want to and I keep telling myself I can do it tomorrow because it's a holiday. But NO!!! I will do it today. Just sticking to a plan I made is huge. And not something I've been very good at lately. So I will go walk in a few minutes. I wanted to blog here first.
A couple things I've noticed that indicate things are moving in the right direction. Without getting gross, there were parts of my body I was having a hard time reaching lately. Not a huge problem, but a problem at certain times. Yesterday morning I noticed that it was much easier to reach those parts. Hmmm...Then again this morning, it was much easier to access those previously difficult parts of my body. So, progress. Also, in the mornings for the past few months, I've had difficulty getting out of bed. I would stand up and feel very unsteady on my feet. There were even points during the day when I would feel very unsteady on my feet. I hate that feeling. Anyway, the last couple of days I've noticed that I don't feel that as much. I'm still stiff, and slow to move in the mornings, but not near as unsteady as I was. Progress. Finally, the back stairs have been a bit of a nemesis since all these injuries began. Going down was the real problem. My ankles were stiff, the heels hurt, the knees were creaky, you name it. The last two days, I've been able to go down the steps quite easily. Progress.
I need to keep these things in mind when the going gets tough. It is not just about losing weight and getting lean, it is about being able to move easily in my own body. To do the things I want to do and to feel good doing them. I'm not going to be perfect all the time and things are not going to go perfectly all the time, or hardly ever, but progress can still be made. Progress can be achieved without being perfect and that is all I ask. As long as I keep moving forward, I will be happy.
Now, I'm off for a 4 mile walk, then a trip to Costco, then laundry and housecleaning. Sounds like a fun day, no?????
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