08 September 2016

So thankful for my life now

It is amazing how your thoughts can affect your life. For the past month, I have really been working on my thoughts. No negative self-talk. Being positive. Thinking good things. I've also worked on my gratitude. I started writing down something good that happened every day. They are simple things; had ahi for lunch, got an Instant pot, got my office organized. Nothing earth shattering, just simple everyday things that are good news. It is so easy to focus on the negative. By doing this I am forced to find something good every day, even if I think nothing much happened. It is all in how you view things. And it's paying off. When I came home from work tonight, I just got really happy. I am so incredibly lucky. We have this fabulous house that is just amazing. It is far more than I ever thought I would own. It even has a pool. Hello!!!! A pool???? It is just so awesome. I have this great job, easily the best teaching job ever. School is only 4 days a week and every day I have at least 2 hours to prep. What?? I've never had that much time before. I did have time at St. Francis, but face it, that place was a freaking joke. Hubby has been able to semi-retire and work part time with me. He likes his job and he gets to take it easy. After working 6 days a week for years and years, it's nice that he can take it easy. We have every Friday off. Hello!!! Who has that??? It is just so awesome to have a 3 day weekend every week. We just bought a new car, a Dodge Caravan. We got the best deal on it. It was slightly used, 5,000 miles, and is a 2016. We got it for a steal. Who does that??? I just am so filled with gratitude for everything we have and the life we get to live. I guess it took a while to sink in that this is our life now. I just can't believe it sometimes. I guess all the hell we went through in Hawaii was worth it if it led to this.

So how is this affecting my weight loss goals? Well, it is a whole lot easier to eat right when you treat yourself well and think kind thoughts. I haven't done well on the workouts this week, but that all changes tomorrow. I just feel now like I'm worth it. Also, I've been eating more and that is helping my energy levels and my thoughts. It is much easier to be positive when you are full.

I am so thankful for everything we have now and for the life we get to live. It is not perfect, but it is so much better than Hawaii was. And positivity generates positivity. I am just feeling positive and upbeat all over the place.

04 September 2016

Self Acceptance

So the last couple of days I've just been real with myself, but I've been avoiding all negative self-talk. I do say that I am fat, but I don't say it in a degrading, disgusted way like I used to. The fact of the matter is that I am fat. It's not good or bad; it's just what is. It's like saying someone is tall or short, it just is. I have actually been taking a page from my dogs. They don't care if they are fat or skinny, they are just happy. So I've been working on that this week. While I do need to lose some weight, I have realized that I can't come from a negative place. Negativity never gets good results. Every time I've lost significant weight in the past, I have been in a positive mindset. So working on the positivity.

The other thing I am working on is developing habits. I want the workout habit. I want the habit of working on my dissertation. I want the habit of keeping the house in order. I know that to-do lists work for me, so I am trying to cultivate daily to-do lists that will help me achieve my goals. The thing is, creating a working to-do list seems incredibly daunting. Maybe if I listed the things I wanted to get done during the week I could get a better overview of what needs to be done.

I just took a few moments to read some of FlyLady. She is a little crazy but has some really good ideas. I think I'm going to take her advice and start small. Taking on too much at once is a recipe for failure. So I'm going to start small. Instead of trying to lay out a week's worth of to-dos, I'm going to focus on developing one routine at a time. I am going to start with the evening routine because if I do things at night it sets up success for the next day. So, let's start there.

Evening routine:
Clean up kitchen
Prepare lunch for next day
Gather all materials needed for next day
Review calendar and prep as necessary
Check bank accounts
Meditate for 10 minutes
Brush teeth
Go to bed

I like this. It is not overpowering and it is many of the things I already do at night. It just adds a couple of details and is something I will do every night. Okay, I'm going to start here. I like this, a whole lot less pressure than I was putting on myself. I will do this for one week and check in next Sunday.

Completely out of control

What is it with me and free time? I had last week off and things literally spiralled completely out of control. I've lost track of the...