18 February 2017


This week started off rough and I could not figure out why. I was tired and dragging. I had a headache for 2 days. One day it was so bad I even took ibuprofen for it - I never do that. Then Wednesday night things really started going downhill. I was stuffy and couldn't breathe and just felt like crap. I took some Nyquil before bed and hoped I'd feel better in the morning. Nope. Woke up feeling worse. Managed to get up and get ready for school, but knew there was no way I was going to make it through the day. So I got things ready for everyone and called a sub. After that, I came home and crashed. I got home around 9 am and slept until 2ish. I just felt crappy. Luckily it was just a head cold, sinuses, etc. So I just rested all day. Funny how when I am sick I crave carbs. Simple carbs. I had Hubby stop at the store and buy me cookies on the way home and I ate the whole pack. I guess that is just what the body needs to fight off a cold because after that I was good and haven't wanted anymore. Weird. Yesterday I was better. We went to the dog park and Costco, then I came home and took a little nap. But I was up for most of the day and felt okay. I slept last night without any NyQuil so that is a good sign. Woke this morning feeling a little stuffy and headachey, but nothing major. I should be fine by the end of the day.

So, because I felt so crappy all week, not a whole lot got done. I walked on the treadmill on Monday morning, but that was it. No yoga happened this week either. And no dissertation work. But I'm okay with that. I was coming down with something, I just did not know it. So next week is a new week and I have a holiday on Monday. Yay!!!!

Today will be kind of back to normal. I will plan next week. I have a study session at the library for my dissertation. And it's raining so no use going anywhere.

It is now 3:30 pm. I did not go to the library for my study session, I was totally not feeling it and decided to cancel it. I have one tomorrow, so I'll go then.

I have been doing some learning on making lesson plans. It's pretty cool. I fill out a form in Google docs and a lesson plan is automatically generated. Really cool. This way I can just write a few things and boom!! Google generates a form. I love it. So yeah, I did that.

I also did some grocery shopping, went to the dairy, and a few other errands. So we are ready for next week.

I also had some time to do some thinking. I got up on Monday morning and walked on the treadmill for 15ish minutes. Tuesday morning I did not walk on the treadmill for some reason I cannot recall now. I spent the whole day in absolute agony. My right ankle and my left heel hurt so bad all day. I was in absolute agony. I am not sure what the exact cause was. I wore my Skechers on Monday and Tuesday and by Tuesday afternoon I could hardly walk. I actually took ibuprofen before bed to try and help the pain go away. The rest of the week I was fine, but the rest of the week I did not really do anything. I'm not sure why my feet hurt so bad. Is it the Skechers? Is it the treadmill? I don't know. But there are a couple of things I do know. I know I need to get moving. I know that the only sure way of making this pain go away is to lose some weight. To lose some weight I need to get moving. I know that exercise won't necessarily make me lose weight, but I know that I am in a much better space mentally when I get some exercise. The more I exercise, the better I eat. So I think I'm going to go back to yoga in the morning and walking on the treadmill at night. I need to get moving and I just need to do it. Now that this cold has passed, I should get my energy back in the next day or so and I will start. In fact, I will start tomorrow. I always get up early and I will do yoga when I get up. Start the week off good. I need to get my planner set up for next week since tomorrow is Sunday and my planner starts on Sunday. Alright, another week, another new start.

I was thinking the other day about why I can't seem to get motivated to lose weight and work out and I realized something. I'm happy. I really am happy with the way things are right now. I'm happy in my own skin. I'm happy with the life we have. I'm just happy. I have practically everything I have ever wanted. A stucco house with spanish tile roof. A living room, family room, gourmet kitchen, a Swissy, a job that I really do like and gives me summers off, and on and on..... I think that is part of the problem. I am happy, I am comfortable, and I have nothing pushing me to change. So I need to find some reason to change. I need to find a motivation that will get me moving. I like the way I feel with I workout and eat right, so maybe I need to focus on that. It's hard to do that though. Maybe I just need to fake it until it becomes a habit. Whatever, life is good right now and I am very comfortable.

It is now 7pm and I just finished setting up my planner for next week. Taking into account all the above information, I decided to scale things back a little. Every week I make these plans and then fall short on some. So this week I decided to take it back a notch and just shoot for a couple of things. First, I'm going to focus on taking my supplements every day. I tend to forget them and I really do feel a whole lot better when I take them. Second, I'm going to do yoga every day. I have not specified if it will be in the mornings or afternoons, so I can do it whenever I want, but I will do it. Third, I want to hit my step goals every day. I was going to say 10,000 steps a day, but the truth of the matter is that I'm not there yet. I average around 6,500 steps a day and my Garmin adjusts my steps based on my activity levels. So for now, I'm just going to let Garmin set my goals and I'm just going to try and hit them every single day. Finally, I will check the bank account every day. I do this mostly anyway, so it should be an easy success. That's it. I will work hard to do these every day and if all goes well, I will build from there. I feel good about this and feel like it will be a successful week.

12 February 2017

What have you done today?

Because I've done nothing :) Well, that is not completely true, but mostly. I have spent most of the day either laying on the couch or sitting in the recliner. I did do a little work on my dissertation, but not much. I've been really tired today. Like 2 naps tired. Some days are just like that. I think that I should feel bad because I did nothing, but I don't. I've learned over the years that sometimes you just need a down day and I'm okay with that. If it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself, you are right. But I am generally okay with it. Things are just really good and some things got settled this week that have been weighing on me. Sometimes when a pressure is removed, I will spend the day being lazy. It is almost like the stress and pressure was keeping me moving. Once you remove that I need a day to decompress sort of. So today was my decompression day and tomorrow things kick back into gear. I'm a control freak and when things are not in my control it creates unnecessary stress on me. That stress is now gone, or at least reduced.

Okay, this week will be a good week.

Think I finally got it

Quitting Crossfit took a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt guilty for not going when I pay or it every month. I also felt guilty for not going because then I did nothing else. I would just say, oh I'll go to Crossfit tomorrow. And then never go... So that is great. A huge burden has been lifted. I'm going to start walking on the treadmill today. I figure I'm pretty heavy, the heaviest I've been in 20 years, and possibly the heaviest I've been ever. And as such, I can't look at what I used to do but at what I'm able to do now. I have feet issues, so I need to start slow. And walking is slow. I plan on accumulating at least 30 minutes of walking a day. I may not do it all at once in the beginning, but that's okay. Once I can do 30 minutes consistently, I'll jump to an hour. Once walking is fairly easy, I'll start running. Forward progress, no matter how slow, is still forward progress. I'm also going to add yoga into the mix. Since I no longer have to race to Crossfit after school, I'm going to come home and do yoga. I really want to become good at yoga. Not sure why, but I do. So it feels amazing to have that monkey off my back.

Now, my dissertation. That is something I've been struggling with for a long, long time. So Friday night I decided that was enough. I need to make progress on it and I need to do whatever it takes to make that progress. So I reserved the study room at the library for 2 hours yesterday. I went there at 3 pm and stayed until almost 5 pm and I got stuff done!!! Yay me!!!! I was approaching it all wrong. As usual, I was looking at the forest and could not see the trees. I realized that overall I have a good start, I just need to refine it. So I went through with an open mind and made some notes as I went. Now I'm going to approach it basically one paragraph at a time. I will work to make each individual paragraph as good as possible and then work to join them all together. With what I did yesterday and my new approach I feel very confident that I will get this done. I also have some things I can do at home during the week to move forward. I just need a good way to make notes on the various articles I have. I'm not positive how to do that yet, but I will figure it out. So I'm super optimistic about that.

And that's about it for this morning. I am up early and felt like getting this all down. I found the quote at the top yesterday on Facebook and I felt it was perfect for me. I spent the first few months here still stewing over the as*holes in Hawaii. I realized the other day that I haven't thought about them in quite a while. Also, when I do think about them I don't get angry like I did before. I think about them and laugh. Also, I am looking firmly forward. I have plans for the future and am really looking forward to what life has to offer now that I've left the negative of the past behind me. I'm happy and optomistic and things could not be better.

So I'm off to have a great Sunday.

The end of laziness

I am on the last few days of summer break - we go back Monday - and the laziness has become unrelenting. I have done nothing the past wee...