09 February 2019

Nothing really to say


I was going to write about my financial situation when I realized that I had been doing that somewhere else. So I deleted it. Then  I thought I'd write about my workouts, but there have been none. Then I thought I could write about all the exciting stuff I've been doing. Nada.....So what to say. I feel like writing, maybe I'll just do a little stream of consciousness.

Overall, things are good with me. I am meditating and I cannot believe the difference that simple act is making in my life. I don't get angry, I'm happy more than not, it's crazy. I love the feeling of calmness that I seem to carry all the time now and I love that things don't throw me. Just had a pretty big upset with the finances and I didn't get crazy. I didn't come up with any wild plans to fix it. I just realized what the problems where and how I have to deal with it. Easy, simple, no stress. So that is great.

Haven't been working out though I want to. No real reason except laziness so I really need to get over that. That stupid game is still an issue. I sat for about 2 hours last night playing it. It is also one of the reasons for money issues. I spent $40 on it in 2 days. Wrongo.... that needs to end immediately. So I need to get moving on the working out and also on the training Mavy. He loves the training and running in the park, I need to work on doing that more.

School has been okay. I have more commitments than I like and I may be taking on even more, but it's going well. I think after 10 years, I'm finally getting a handle on this thing called teaching 😊

I was just looking at Facebook and something popped into my head. Other people and their lack of work. How do they survive? Do they sponge off other people (I think a lot of them do)? Do they very low expectations and therefore require little? Seriously, how do they do it? I honestly don't understand. We make really good money and yet I struggle with having enough. Am I too materialistic? Am I crazy for wanting a house and food? What is the freaking story? My idiot sister posted yesterday that she got a job. So how has she been living all this time? I know she's been homeless before, so maybe she was homeless again. Clearly, she knows how to do it. I couldn't do that. I am spoiled. I need my comforts and my computers and my stuff. Probably materialistic, but I like it so whateva. I have other friends who I know led productive lives at one point in time but are now just laying around doing nothing and letting family and parents support them. How do I sign up for that? In truth, I couldn't do that anyway. I need to be independent and self-sufficient. I need to not be beholden to anyone. Ever. Plus, let's be honest, I like working. I really like teaching and I'll probably do it for a long, long time to come.

Alright, enough of this nonsense. I need more coffee and to take some aspirin for a raging headache I seem to have.

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