tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84881362024-03-17T10:30:30.898-07:00Step Away From the CakeFlohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.comBlogger3655125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-83377856940174276912024-03-17T10:29:00.003-07:002024-03-17T10:29:59.717-07:00Conversation with Hubby<p> So yesterday morning I presented my idea of working out at home to the Hubby. Once I presented it to him, he said he was in. I told him I had ordered the walking pad (which is 9 stops away as I type this) and that I would be bringing the weight bench in the house on the days I workout. He can join me and we can do it together. I will also be using the walking pad for when I'm watching TV or just need to get some steps in. He was all for it. I know that he would like to lose a little weight and I think he really doesn't know how to go about it. So this will be good for all of us. </p><p>Yesterday we went to the Aloha Festival and I walked 10,954 steps. I could feel it in my hips and legs. This morning Mavy wanted to walk the canal. So it's 10:30 and I already have 5,743 steps in . I will definitely hit my 10,000 today. I will work at hitting my 10,000 steps today. Plus in a few minutes I'll have a walking pad. </p><p>Okay, so tomorrow is the big day. We start our workout program at home. I'm going to go to the gym 3 days a week I think. I'll go Tuesday Friday and Saturday. I think that should work out okay. </p><p>Anyway, off to have some breakfast. </p><p><br /></p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-39564027094492327472024-03-16T06:03:00.001-07:002024-03-16T06:03:05.251-07:00Post doctor conversation thoughts<p> So on Friday I spoke with my doctor. And it was much as I imagined it would be. The best thing I can do for my health, including my high A1C, is to lose some weight. So I need to do that. Much like I wrote in the last post, I just need to do it. I need to move more. Even after my awareness and outlining how much I sit, I still sat most of Thursday and yesterday. I need to move more, absolutely no doubt about it. The doctor suggested that I take a walk for30 minutes, 5 times a week. Then also add in some weight training and some higher intensity workouts a couple of times a week. Which then led me down the rabbit hole of considering my workout choices. I've been going to the gym, though not consistently, for a few months now and doing some pretty strenuous hiit workouts. That led me to thinking, am I doing too much? Should I not be doing the HIIT? Maybe I should start slower. Focus on walking and doing some strength workouts at home? But then I think, I won't follow through with them. I'll blow them off like I always do. But then I think, we have the workout bench, I can just bring that in the living room and workout while I'm watching TV. Also, doing that may inspire Hubby to workout also. I have all that is necessary to workout at home. I have the weight bench, I have adjustable weights, and I have a workout book to guide us. So I could come home from work, go for a 30 minute walk, and then workout for an hour or so. Three days a week workout with the weights, and two or three days a week do some HIIT. Then I could also do my stretching, which I desperately need. I can add in Supernatural in the mornings. On paper this sounds perfect. I just went and looked at one of those walking pads. It would fit perfectly under the couch and I could just pull it out to walk instead of sitting on my ass watching TV. So again, on paper this sounds perfect. However, I already know the resistance I will run into, both mine and Hubby's. </p><p>1. Energy. I know when I come home from work I'm tired. I want to just lay on the couch and do nothing. I'm going to have to fight that with all my might. One way to fight it is so not put my pjs on. When I come home change into my workout clothes instead. Another way, and this is for me only, is to just put it into my head all day long. I'm working out when I come home will be my mantra all day. I know that will definitely help and get me moving. It actually makes me look forward to workouts. </p><p>2. Once it starts getting hotter, that will be an excuse. It's too hot, let's just hang out in the pool. I will have to work it out so that we hang out in the pool for a while and then I workout. I will just have to do it and be adamant about it. Once summer comes it will actually be easier because I will be able to workout whenever I want to. But for the next 2 months it will be a struggle. I just need to be stronger than my excuses. </p><p>3. The old do it later mentality. I need to change how I view exercise and working out. I need to view it as something that I <i>get</i> to do and not that I <i>have</i> to do. I have to keep in mind at all times that I still have the ability to move and workout. There are many, many people who can no longer do that. I should be thankful that I still can and do it as often as possible. </p><p>Okay, I'm doing it. What I'm going to do is start this program while still keeping my gym membership. That way if it doesn't work out, I still have the gym. I have seen with my Lumen how working out helps switch from carb burn to fat burn. I need to exploit that without killing myself. </p><p>Okay, I'm in. Ordering the walking pad right now. Going to present this plan to Hubby this morning. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-42798996059485204152024-03-14T06:09:00.001-07:002024-03-14T06:09:08.506-07:00I have to admit, I don't know what to do<p> Okay, that's not entirely true. I know <b>what</b> to do, I struggle with the <b>how</b>. I went in to the doctors for bloodwork on Tuesday. They contacted me later that day to say my my blood sugars have been borderline the last couple of readings and they wanted to send the blood out for an A1C test. That test gives you an average of your blood sugars over a couple of months. Well it came back yesterday in the prediabetic range. So now I have to meet with my doctor this morning to discuss what to do next. I know what I need to do, I need to move more. I know that's my real problem. I don't move enough. My average steps for the last month is only 4500. That's not even 5,000 a day. That is pathetic. I sit here at this desk or at my craft table most of the day. I can sit for hours and hours. Then, once I'm done in here, I move out to the couch and sit there for a few hours. That's not good. The weather is perfect for getting outside and yet I spend most of my break sitting inside. Again, it all comes down to my attitude. The way I view things determines what I will and will not do. So I need to view movement as a way to save my life. I do not want to be diabetic. I do not want to be frail and elderly and unable to do things. I don't. So what am I going to do about it? It is literally my life on the line. My watch gives me warnings about my steps. At 10 minutes before every hour it warns me how many steps I have left to take in that hour to reach my daily goal of 7500. I've been ignoring it. Maybe it's time to start paying attention and moving when it tells me. Maybe it's finally time to raise this desk up and leave it there. I bought the standing desk to avoid sitting so much and I don't remember the last time I raised it up. I don't know if it still raises. When I'm home I think I need to take long walks. I used to walk the canal every single day. I haven't walked the canal in months and months. Time to get back to that. I need to make workouts out a regular, consistent part of my day. For months now I've been sporadic at best. Time to change that. I need to focus on movement. I need to focus on a lot of things. But honestly my health needs to take priority. If I don't have my health all the other stuff won't matter. So it's time to shift my priorities. My health needs to be my first priority. Also, once I'm more active and focusing on my health, I'll have more energy and the other things will fall into place. </p><p>Now let's discuss the how. Well, on work days I can go back to Supernatural in the mornings. I was doing that for a while and it felt great. Starting Monday, I'll go back to FitBody. I had just kind of got a routine going when my arm started acting up and I couldn't do much of anything. Between that and the oral surgery I had yesterday, this week ended up being a big bust. I'm not going to dwell on it or beat myself up, it is what it is and it is done. Then there are walks. When I don't work out I'm home by 4ish. I could take Mavy on another walk, this time longer. He could use the exercise as much as I could. On weekends maybe I'll start taking him places again. I would like to take him hiking, maybe we can do that just start slow. I could take him to the Riparian preserve in Gilbert. That's a great place to walk the dog. So time to start walking more. I will start walking the canal again. Mavy may not be able to do it regularly, but I can. Yes!! I have to change my focus and prioritize my health. I don't want to be diabetic. I don't want to be old. I don't want to be weak and helpless. So don't. But just wishing and wanting is not going to make it happen. </p><p>On to food. Overall I think my food is not bad. It can definitely use some tweaks here and there, but overall it is good. Along with the movement, time to focus on the food. I'm going to devote the next few days to fine tuning the food part. I need to hit my macros regularly. I also need to use the Lumen for what it was intended for. And my FitBit. I pay money for these things and then don't use them to their full potential. Time to stop that. Time to be the adult. Time to take control of my life. No one else can. </p><p>Okay. A little tough love always helps. Off to do some Supernatural. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-69287622870423641142024-03-12T06:46:00.002-07:002024-03-12T06:46:31.822-07:00Day 1 was a success<p> So I created an ongoing list of things I need to do in Keep. Here is what it looks like: </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi51VMzFxN183RI5wNvIHFuFPlzX3Jj64QgDHHAPhmJ_dGdM-Bup0YejWOuevwt4xBkC1z55NjOGGEhjQaEiBC1iGLitY-Naj-G_rDjKq7mrzesZEbB9o3Lf5N7OgEjJlTEYsjxfxtXYmpGWg9p-CMybGCM1etPvAeOftQ_m_2TAsHrmyQtCh2KVA/s575/Screenshot%202024-03-12%20063902.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="575" data-original-width="291" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi51VMzFxN183RI5wNvIHFuFPlzX3Jj64QgDHHAPhmJ_dGdM-Bup0YejWOuevwt4xBkC1z55NjOGGEhjQaEiBC1iGLitY-Naj-G_rDjKq7mrzesZEbB9o3Lf5N7OgEjJlTEYsjxfxtXYmpGWg9p-CMybGCM1etPvAeOftQ_m_2TAsHrmyQtCh2KVA/s320/Screenshot%202024-03-12%20063902.png" width="162" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I checked off 7 things yesterday. Yay me!!! The best part is that I don't feel the pressure of a timed schedule. I don't feel forced to do something because it says I have to do something for an hour. For example, one of the items on my list is to work on large business sign. Well, that involves a few steps, including creating a useable SVG to cut. So last night I investigated a website that supposedly lets you make SVGs easily. I tried it and it is pretty easy. But I discovered that my Silhouette Design Studio lets me do mostly the same things and so I don't really need it. I am however, going to download some file from the other place to use. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Anyway, it was a good day 1. I'm hoping to have continued success with this. I guess to do that I will really have to work it. </div><br /><p></p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-59663554545742949022024-03-11T09:28:00.002-07:002024-03-11T09:28:18.503-07:00Time for some more introspection<p> Last post was truly eye-opening. I am the type that has to know the why of things. I can just do for a while, but eventually I have to know and understand the why or I can't keep doing it. Not sure that makes sense to anyone but me, but it makes perfect sense to me. </p><p>With that revelation, I have realized that I need to tackle this fear head on. I need to do things where I don't know what I'm doing. I need to have a goal without knowing how, or if, it will work out. I need to push myself. But to do that I need a plan. I've spent so long floundering around with this business that I'm not sure I know how to actually push it forward. But I've got to try and figure it all out. So a plan is a must. I was just thinking to myself that I should set a schedule, especially since we are on spring break this week. But then I realized that I don't do well with schedules. I work better with to-do lists. At least in my personal life. I still have a habit of doing things when I <i>feel</i> like doing them. So schedules are too confining and I have a tendency to blow them off. But to-do lists? I'm good with those. Love getting my stuff done. But I also need to have this list up front and in my face. I have a frequent habit of making a list in my planner and then not looking at it all day. When I'm getting ready for bed, I will see it and realize all the stuff I did not get done that day. So you know what I need? I need a routine for this. I will write things in my planner that need to be done. Then that morning or the evening before, I will transfer those things to a to-do list in Keep. I will leave that open on my computer all day and I will put it on my phone too. OMG!!! So, I'm excited about this. Seriously. I will need to work it for a while until it becomes the norm, but I can do it. I put the Keep widget on my home screen on my phone. It will have the list for that day. I can add to it or check things off as I go. Yes!!! I can make this work. I can. I will have to work it but it will become a habit. </p><p>So there it is. I will just set things that need to be done each day and go from there. I am excited. The way the widget is set up, it stays on my home screen and updates as I update it. So that means it will be an ongoing list. When I get things done, I cross it off. When I don't it just stays there until I do get it done. I'm so excited about this. Seriously. No more forgetting things and having them slip through the cracks. I'm going to do this. </p><p>Okay, I'm off to live my plan. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-36968737790686570282024-03-11T07:07:00.003-07:002024-03-11T07:07:35.836-07:00Some tough love<p> But before we get to that, an update on the arm/hand situation. I think I figured out what I have. Cubital tunnel syndrome. That is basically a compression of the ulnar nerve in the upper arm that causes numbness in the fingers. Boom! Now I know what it is. I also got some exercises to do to glide the nerve. The only real treatment is rest, exercise, and surgery if it doesn't get better. So I am basically a medical sleuth. </p><p>On to the tough love. I have been giving this 'business' of mine a very half-hearted approach. I have not touched my website in weeks. My social media posting is sporadic at best. I have not signed up for any shows. Really? How am I supposed to make a success of this thing with this work ethic? I need to be all in if I'm going to make this work. But to do that, I need to figure out exactly what I'm going to sell. I am so all over the place with product, I don't even know where to begin. I do have a rescue fair that I am considering. That would at least focus me on animal stuff. But then I would need to do a lot of things to get ready. But at the same time, it's over a month away. Hmmmmm.....decisions, decision. </p><p>What I do know is that I can't be this distracted from my business. I need to do more, focus more, care more. Right now I'm just spending money and not making anything. NOTHING!!!! I need to do something to actually make money. I posted a listing on Amazon and have got nothing from that. I could post more things. I could watch some videos and webinars about making money on Amazon. I could watch the videos from the Craftfest that I paid for. I could watch the videos from the courses I've paid for. I could put more time and effort into making this thing work. But do I? NO!! I make things that I feel like making. I watch a lot of TV. I sit on the couch and color!!!! I've got to change things up. </p><p>Let's see if I can get to the why? Why do I want this? Why do I not put more effort into it? Why am I not doing more to promote it? I think there is a few things going on that I need to address and deal with. </p><p>First, why do I want this? Well, I want something to do when I retire. I'm scared of retiring. I'm afraid I won't have enough money. I'm afraid that I'll end up sitting around doing nothing and getting old. I thought that by having a small business going I could avoid all that. It would keep me busy and provide a little extra money each month. Also, I really enjoy making things. </p><p>Next, why do I not put more effort into it? Well, I tell myself that teaching Monday through Thursday is exhausting and I just don't have the energy. I also tell myself that I need time to workout and relax and spend with Hubby. So when I get home at 5 or 5:30 and go to bed at 8ish, there is really just enough time to relax and spend with Hubby. Now granted my idea of relaxing is sitting on the couch, coloring on my app, and watching completely mindless TV (hello, Frasier). It has become a ritual that I am completely into. I will get up from dinner to change the channel to watch Frasier. That is ridiculous. As for spending time with Hubby, we each sit in the same room and look at our devices. That hardly qualifies as quality time. It is literally the same routine every single work night. I come home, Hubby is sitting at the counter, drinking a beer and making dinner. I change into my jammies and head over to the couch and pick up my iPad with my coloring app. Dinner is ready. We eat and I head back to the couch. Hubby feeds the dog. Around this time he always asks, What's on tonight? The answer is almost always, nothing. We go to bed at 8pm so unless something is on at 7pm, we don't watch it until the weekend. Then we sit there watching Frasier or Penn & Teller or Survivor. At 7ish, I get up and clean the kitchen and Hubby usually heads off to bed. I may stretch and then follow him in. That's it. That's our nights. That's actually our weekend nights also as it's become such a habit. I know that I have as much time as I think I have - it is all in the mindset. I also know that if I had something to do for my business, Hubby would completely understand. So there is no reason why I can't work on it a little each night. I did say that I was going to do my social media posting at night on the couch. I could get back into that. I let that slip a lot. So, how about baby steps. I will get back into doing my social media posting when sitting on the couch at nigh. </p><p>Next up, why am I not doing more to promote it? This is where things get a little hairy for me. I don't do enough to promote it, there is no question about that. But the underlying reason is something I've been afraid to face my whole life. I'm afraid I'll be successful. I barely have the time to do things now. If I was successful, how much more would I be working? It's weird, I know. But I am afraid of being successful. I always have been. And I've always known that about myself. So how do I get over it? I honestly don't know. I just need to fight through it and see what happens if I do become successful. Having no background or experience with real success, I don't know what to expect or how to do it. Which, is something I have struggled with my whole life, doing something I don't know how to do. If I don't know how to do something, like be successful, I'm afraid of it. I get scared and wonder if I can do it. Is that a form of perfectionism? I don't need to do things perfectly but I am a little afraid of the unknown. Hell, even going somewhere I've never been before is scary to me. I can look at is as an adventure, but there is a certain amount of fear there too. That's a control thing. Going into something or someplace that I'm not familiar with takes all control away from me. I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know what to do and I don't know how to deal with it. OMG!!!! This is so enlightening. This is my Undiscovered Country. Whenever I am faced with that, I get a little scared. I absolutely felt it with my Amazon listing. I was so afraid of what would happen if that thing took off. But I think I kind of sabotaged myself to make sure it didn't. </p><p>Well, as always, figuring out the root cause shines a light on things and helps me understand how to deal with it. So I'm off to face my fear of success. I'm going to do things that I think will lead to success and see what happens. Will I handle it perfectly? No. Will I make mistakes? Absolutely. Will it kill me? Probably not. And it could lead to something really spectacular. So I'm determined to face it and do the best I can. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-9488825454115152572024-03-10T06:31:00.003-07:002024-03-10T06:31:33.621-07:00Update from last post<p> It was an interesting weekend. </p><p>Turns out my knee pain was very temporary. On Friday morning I put some Voltaren on them and then took Mavy for a walk. By the afternoon they felt fine. So that was just a temporary setback. </p><p>My arms/hands are a whole story in themselves. I mentioned they would go numb but it was far more than that. Especially my left arm. My hand would go numb and then it would feel like it was on fire. I could not figure out a way to hold it where that wouldn't happen. Sometimes if I stretched it out, it would be better. Sometimes if I kept it slightly bent, it would be better. But nothing lasted for long. It would always come back. Friday night, Hubby asked if I wanted to sit in the hot tub. I said yes, because I thought that might help some. I was seriously wrong, it actually made it worse. But I did discover where the pain was emanating from. It was coming from the inside of my arm, right above the elbow. I could press there and be in excruciating pain. At least now I knew where it was coming from. Which started me thinking. If it was coming from that far up my arm and my hand was going numb, a nerve must be being impinged. And further, it must be my muscle that is squeezing the nerve, there's really nothing else up there. Hmmmm. After the hot tub it was much worse and I could not even lay in bed, it was too painful. So I got up and sat in the recliner with the arm resting on a chair next to the recliner. Then Hubby suggested I put some cold on it. We have this cold thing that is rice or something and meant to go around your neck. He got me that and I put it on my upper arm and OMG!!! It felt wonderful. The pain and numbness went away and the arm felt completely normal. Once that warmed up, I thought of the Cryoderm that we use. It is a cold therapy. I slathered my arm in that and it too felt wonderful. It burned like crazy on my upper arm - which we have noticed it tends to do if that is where the problem is. So my upper arm burned like crazy but my hand was not numb. I stayed on the recliner until about 1 am, but really couldn't sleep. Then I went into bed and managed to get some sleep. I was up around 4ish. The more I thought about the whole arm/hand thing, the more I came to believe that I had some muscle soreness. I had worked out on Wednesday and Thursday night. I believed that what I was experiencing with the arm was sort of what I get when I overwork the legs. When I work the legs too hard it becomes difficult to sit down and stand up because of the lactic acid build up. I believe that is what was happening with my arm. There was a ton of lactic acid build up, the muscles were swollen with it, and it was squeezing a nerve. When I used cold things on it, the muscle would contract due to the cold and the pain went away. So I spent yesterday keeping the Cryoderm on it and taking Naproxen for the inflammation. And it worked wonders. I felt pretty damn good all day yesterday. Not perfect, but I was not in pain the majority of the day. That was nice. I got my clothes all sorted away and straightened out. It felt good not to be in pain all day. </p><p>So, while I was walking Mavy, I was trying to figure out what could have caused this. I did workout Wednesday and Thursday. And Thursday was strength session. So I thought back over what we did and tried to narrow it down. The only thing I could come up with was, in Wednesday's session we did these things where we just held a really heavy dumbbell for 45 seconds. Initially I wasn't going too heavy, but by the 5th round I decided that I could go heavier. I picked up two 45 lb dumbbells and stood there for 45 seconds. I think that was where it happened. I think I went too heavy and I think I pulled that muscle a little bit. So, lesson learned: Don't go really heavy, take your time to build up to id. </p><p>I'm just glad I figured out how to deal with it, because honestly I was worried that there was something seriously wrong. So I'm glad I figured out how to deal with it and I've learned my lesson. Go Slow!!!</p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-88979464897378387672024-03-08T07:21:00.002-07:002024-03-08T07:21:47.263-07:00We made it<blockquote><p></p><br /><br /> we are officially on spring break. Yes!!! I have things to do, but at least during spring break I can do them in my own time. Yes!!! I have a few things on my mind this morning so let's jump right in. <br /><br />First are some physical issues. My knees are killing me. They are incredibly painful. It hurts to walk or stand or sit or lay down. It is miserable. But if I do keep active, standing, walking, etc, eventually they start to feel better. Hmmm? I don't know. I'm leaning towards arthritis but in both knees to the same degree, at the same time? Seems a little sketchy to me. I'm also leaning towards the fact that it might be my weight. I am at the heaviest I've been in a while and I'm exercising quite a bit. I'm trying very hard not to jump or run or create any jarring movements on my knees, but last night I did jump twice off high boxes. So yeah, there's that. <br /><br />Then I have this numbness going on in my hands/arms. This is really bothering me. My hands will go, not exactly numb, but almost like they have fallen asleep and it does not feel good. My left arm/hand is by far the worst. It is happening now as I sit typing this. I have no idea what this might be and frankly it kind of scares me. <br /><br />The problem with both of these issues is that Medicare starts on April 1st. That is just 24 days away. Since my Medicare coverage is so, so much better than the coverage I have now, I'm really trying to wait it out. But the hand/arm thing is really, really annoying. It was really bothering me yesterday but when I went to strength training last night it was fine. I don't understand it and I can't figure it out. But I will hold on and try to wait it out so I don't have to pay a fortune for it. <br /><br />Okay, now the bigee. Metabolic flexibility. <p></p><blockquote>Metabolic flexibility is the ability to adapt to changes in metabolic demand. It's also defined as the ability of skeletal muscle to adjust how it uses substrate pathways.</blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"> I have heard about this for years and years. When I was following Jason, he talked about this all the time. He would tell us that this was the key to losing weight and that we had to get to a state of good metabolic flexibility in order to really be healthy. Of course, getting there involved things like good sleep, low stress levels, exercise without stress, eating well, etc. Turns out he seems to be right, but there was no way to actually determine if you had good metabolic flexibility or not. He had some things, like being able to fast without too much issue and regular intermittent fasting. Also, if you have good metabolic flexibility your cravings go away. Things like that. But a lot of this you could white-knuckle and think you have goo metabolic flexibility but you really don't.</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;">Then along came Lumen. I've been seeing these ads for years now and kept wondering if it really worked. Can blowing into a little device really help you lose weight. Well, the other day I did a little more digging into it and discovered that it helped you gain metabolic flexibility. By breathing into it, it can measure what you are burning. The more acetone in your breath, the more fat you are burning. Simple and actually pretty easy. So you blow into this device first thing in the morning and then at various times throughout the day to get not only a picture of if you are burning fat or carbs, but how food and exercise affects what you are burning. It then recommends a diet for the day based on what you blew that morning. So yesterday morning I blew a 5, almost exclusively carb burning, so it recommended a very low carb diet for the day, 75grams I believe. This morning I blew a 1, fat burning, and it still recommends a low carb diet, but today it's 125 grams. Over the course of the first 2 weeks it is learning me and my patterns. After the first 2 weeks it will have more focused recommendations. I'm very excited about this. I feel like I'm not just floundering in the dark anymore when it comes to my weight or what to eat or what I burn. I feel like I am finally getting some good, usable information that will help me finally take control of my health and my weight. </p></blockquote><p>Okay, I think that's enough for today. Also, the formatting on this post has gotten all screwed up and I'm tired of messing with it. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-69473366946850994672024-03-03T05:36:00.002-07:002024-03-03T05:36:51.667-07:00And now it's Sunday<p> We have one more week and then spring break. The break will be nice. </p><p>Yesterday we went to the Oddities & Curiosities Expo. It looked interesting but it was not what I expected. It was basically a craft fair of weird stuff. Eh, it was fun. After we went to Huss Brewery for lunch and that was nice. </p><p>The best part of it was that it was just nice to get out. We have spent the last few months holed up in the house. We go to the store and out to lunch occasionally, but that' s about it. It was nice to actually get out in the public and do something. Need to work on that more. It was kind of funny though getting ready. We are in the season where it is cold in the morning, warm in the afternoon, and there may or may not be a wind blowing that will be chilly. So how do you dress for that? Also, this time of year I end up with tons of laundry because of all the clothes changes because of the weather. Can't wait for summer when I live in my bathing suit and dress. Boom! Done. </p><p>So for the past week or two my knees have been killing me. When I get up from sitting they are painful and it takes a few minutes to sort of lubricate them. Walking is fine except for the shooting pain I get in my right knee every once in a while out of the blue that makes me cry out. I'm not sure what the problem is, though I have an idea. I'm heavy. Heavier than I've been in a long, long time. I think that is part of it. That and the sitting. I sit a lot. And I mean A. Lot. Of course, everything I do is done from a sitting position. Working on the computer, crafting, etc. But I need to get up and move more. Oh, I just had a thought. I think I'm going to start doing Supernatural again. I used to do it for 15 minutes in the morning, why can't I do that again. That really helped me get going every day. I'm going to do it this morning. Then I'm going to figure out what I want to do the rest of the day. I kind of want to craft. And I kind of want to read. We'll see who wins. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-50328952615999734732024-03-01T05:58:00.002-07:002024-03-01T05:58:14.661-07:00Another Week has gone by<p> It was a good week and there is only one more week until spring break. Yes!! I know that it is not the best thing to be so looking forward to the breaks and weekends like I do. I really do enjoy my job and I need to focus on that more. My job just got a little more enjoyable this week as one student who was a complete and total pain in the a*s dropped out. Thank God. Seriously. He changed the entire vibe of the classroom. He was a complete jerk. He thought he was cute and charming and he wasn't. He would go around talking to other scholars when he was supposed to be working on something. I had to sit him alone to get anything in class done. Anyway, he's gone and things have gotten so much better in that class. </p><p>I made it to the gym on Monday. Tuesday I came straight home. Wednesday I forgot my gym clothes. And yesterday was open house so I didn't get home until almost 9pm. So I did not have the great week at the gym that I had last week. But that's okay. The road to success is often bumpy and hilly and rarely smooth and straight. </p><p>I have a decent size whiteboard above my desk and I really haven't used it much. I was just staring at it and realized I should put my to-do list, or more correctly my want-to-do list, up there so I can see it. I think I will. </p><p>I need to get my business selling stuff and I'm seriously not sure how to do it. I've joined groups, I've read and watched videos, I've done all kinds of things and I just can't seem to get traction with selling my stuff. I can't seem to find that one thing that will just take off. I'm sure it's because I'm really all over the place with stuff. But I need to find that one thing that will sell well. Maybe I'll just do some simple things. Maybe I'll just make a few monogram signs. I don't know. I just don't know. I do know that I'm supposed to be doing a fair tomorrow and I'm not going. I'm just not up for the rejection I will get there. I have the opportunity for a few more fairs and I'm still thinking on them. I need to make a decision. I need to figure out what I'm going to do with this business. Am I going to keep at it or am I going to just give it up? It's been over a year and I haven't really made any money at it. How long do I keep going? </p><p>Okay, enough of this. I get too depressed if I dwell on it too long. I'll figure it out. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-82971089020817510432024-02-24T05:31:00.001-07:002024-02-24T05:31:38.937-07:00Doing hard things<p> Lots of people stress the importance of doing hard things. They say it builds character and helps you build confidence in yourself. And it is true. I feel like a rockstar when I do something that was hard or big in my mind. When I finally tackle something that has been bothering me. I feel awesome. The problem is that hard things are a moving target and once you do a hard thing, say something you've been avoiding, things like that are no longer hard. For example, I've been avoiding getting my stuff up on Amazon handmade because I have imposters syndrome about the stuff I make. I don't feel I'm good enough and I feel like there are people a whole lot better than me at it. So I dragged my feet and pretended that I didn't know how to do it (I say pretended because Amazon literally walks you through it). When I finally got it up, I did feel like a rockstar. Now I want to list another thing and it's just a oh, well, get it up kind of thing. So now what is the next hard thing I do? </p><p>Anyway, I was thinking about that this morning as I moved my meditation back outside. It was 54F and I decided that was warm enough to meditate outside. It was chilly but completely doable. And I love meditating outside. I love hearing the sounds of the world wake up. And it was a little hard. Not super hard, but a little hard. But it felt so good that I was all in on it. </p><p>Going to the gym is/was hard too. I have gone 4 days this week. 4 Days!!!!! That is something I have not done in years. YEARS!!!! And it feels really good. My muscles are sore but not painfully so. I feel like I have more energy but that could be in my head. I'm going again this morning and I'm looking forward to it. So while I'm still at the point where I have to convince myself to go every time, I'm starting to enjoy it and soon it will no longer be hard. It will just be a habit. And then I will have to find another hard thing to tackle as far as my health goes. </p><p>Okay, I think that's it for today. Just some meanderings of a mind in the early hours of a Saturday. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-6918665939687061702024-02-22T04:55:00.003-07:002024-02-22T04:55:43.185-07:00My work schedule<p> is arguably one of the best on the planet. Sure, lots of people have better but a whole lot more have worse. Much. Much. Worse. I work from 7:30 - 3:30 four days a week. That's it. 8 hours a day. 32 hours a week. That's it. And yet I complain that I don't have time. Seriously. I do get up early, 4:30, and I'm out of the house by 6am. I like to get to work a little early so I'm not rushed - I've always been that way. And I do stay a little later frequently to get things done. But still. I work 4 days a week. There was time when I worked from 7am to 5pm. And I didn't complain then. Well, a little bit. Anyway, the point here is to be grateful for the fantastic hours that I have and to not whine so much about working. I am tired. Teaching is tiring business. And I do go to bed early. But lord, I work 4 days a week. I really only have to go to bed that early 3 days because Sunday nights I'm usually rested up and Thursdays I can stay up as late as I want. So it's really only Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday that my hours are a little bit restricted. What a freaking baby I am. I whine constantly about how I have no time during the week. How I get home and in a few hours I'm in bed. Stop it!!! Stop it already!!!! There are people who work 10 and12 hour days 5 and 6 days a week. They have families and small children that they hardly see. I'm so freaking lucky. So freaking lucky. I need to get that back in my head. I need to be grateful for what I have and not whine about what I don't have. So yes!!! I have an awesome schedule and I need to be thankful for it. I need to be thankful that they love me as much as they do. I need to be thankful that they pay as well as they do. So no more whining about how little time I have. Gratefulness is all I will express. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-12403502326944407642024-02-19T06:08:00.003-07:002024-02-19T06:08:59.939-07:003-days later<p> We painted the parking spots and it was kind of fun. Mine is thrown together literally at the last minute. I was painting my spot to do something else and had a brilliant idea and boom, I went with it. Done. It's not great, but it's done. </p><p>I was so, so tired on Friday. I did not want to go paint spots, I wanted to stay home and lay on the couch. But I did. We stopped at Four Peaks for lunch and I had a beer which led to a nap in the afternoon. That was nice. </p><p>Saturday morning I was up early and in my room making stuff. I've altered the designs on a couple of things and am playing with them. It was a working day all day. Got lots of stuff done. </p><p>Sunday, yesterday, was a little slower. Still did a lot of work, but also spent some quality time on the couch. Hubby went out to lunch with a friend so I had some peace and quiet. </p><p>Did a lot of work on my website this weekend. A. Lot. Got a bunch of items listed and I think it looks good. Still have some stuff to do and I'm going to work on that today. Tomorrow will be devoted to school stuff so today is kind of the last day to work on things. Of course, I may cut things as I work on school work. That can happen. 😅</p><p>Today I go back to the gym. It's been 2 weeks. I'm feeling really, really good. So today is the day. I'm going to the 8am class. We shall see how that goes. </p><p>Okay, I'm done with the catch up. Time to get something done. I'm going to clean up in here a bit. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-26284085757525256032024-02-16T05:44:00.002-07:002024-02-16T05:44:13.645-07:00Feeling much better<p> over the course of the week my illness receded. I can't say it went away because it's still here slightly, but I am definitely feeling better. I am waiting to go back to the gym until I am 100%, I'm thinking Monday. I think that may have been a small part of the problem. I would start feeling good and the first thing I would do is head back to the gym. I'd workout and really push myself and then boom! The illness was back. So I'm trying something a little different and waiting until it's all gone and I am feeling amazing. In all honesty, that may not be Monday but that's what I'm hoping for. </p><p>I have a 5-day weekend this week. I love, love, love that we have a longer weekend than work week. Love it!!!! That's truly the way it should be. </p><p>Today we are painting parking spots. It was something I was very excited about when it came up, but I just cannot get my excitement up about it. I'm sure it will be fun. I'm sure we will have a good time while doing it. But I'm just not excited about it. Maybe it's because I have been sick. Maybe it's because I'm tired. I don't know. Hubby is excited about it and I'm sure it will be fun. But honestly I'd rather stay home and lay on the couch all day. </p><p>Honestly, my thoughts towards things I have to do have deteriorated and I need to change that. For example, next Friday I have to sit through the Making of America seminar. This is something that everyone in our school has to go to every 3 years. It is long and boring and last all day. I'm am actually dreading it. That is not going to make it any better. In fact, that will make it worse. Much. Much. Worse. So I need to switch my attitude about this. I have to go. I'm going now because I want to get it done. I won't have to go again until 2027. It's one day. No big deal. I will just have to find something to bring with me to do while that is going on. And I'm sitting up in the back so no one can see what I'm doing. </p><p>That's about it. I think my attitude has been kind of crappy because I've been sick so much and not feeling myself. I need to get well so I feel good and get my positive attitude back. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-5516184432945545642024-02-10T05:52:00.004-07:002024-02-10T05:52:39.361-07:00Sick again<p> Before I get into that, I have to say that I have been regularly posting on social media for my business. Yay, me!!!! It's not a lot, it's only been a week, but it's a start. I try to set up posts for two days at a time that way I'm slightly ahead of the game. So I have posts thru Sunday but Monday's will have to wait as I need to see who wins the Superbowl. But that's okay, I can get something ready for Tuesday and even Wednesday and just set up Monday's on Sunday night. So it's off to a start. And honestly, I don't have a program like everyone tells me to have. I don't do X on Monday, Y on Tuesday, blah, blah, blah. I post what works for me. I do want to post a putting together thing of a project. From beginning to end. So I need to work on that. </p><p>But, I am sick again. This is freaking ridiculous. I woke yesterday with a scratchy throat and over the course of the day my sinuses got worse. WTF????? I have now been sick on and off since fall break. That is the most I've been sick. Ever. Something is going on and I probably should have it checked out. But honestly, I'm holding out for April 1st. That's when my Medicare plans go into effect and it is so, so much better than what I have now. On my plan now, my deductible is $5,000 BUT they scale what they will pay and deduct that from the deductible. So for example, I go to the doctor and he charges $500. My insurance will only cover $150 so that's all they apply to the deductible. I may end up paying $150 or sometimes I end up paying $350. So this really, really sucks. I know for my eyes I paid out of pocket well over $5,000 but yet I never hit my deductible. With Medicare my deductible is $248. Yes, you read that right, $248. So while Medicare may do the same thing as regular insurance, only cover a part, I'll still hit that $248 a whole lot quicker than I will $5,000. Plus, I will be going to a clinic that specializes in old people. And they have a team of doctors there to help support you as you age. Definitely looking forward to that. So back to the illness, I should probably go see someone, but can I hold out for another month? Will it make a difference? Don't know so I'll play it by ear. </p><p>I've got my mojo back as far as making goes. I was seriously out of the mood for all of January. But I've got it back and I'm feeling creative again. Actually, I'm feeling more creative than I did before. Which means I need to buy more wood. Which means I need to sell some stuff. Which means I need to get on the social media, which I am doing. It's a vicious circle. </p><p>Okay, enough for now. I'm off to glue some things and maybe fire up the laser. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-56108117723399345692024-02-08T04:55:00.001-07:002024-02-08T04:55:07.672-07:00Yesterday was a supreme success<p> I have been struggling with making social media postings a regular thing. Then I bought this calendar that told me what to post every day, it even gave me copy to use. So I did that for a couple of days and realized that it wasn't me. I was suffering some cognitive dissonance because what this person was writing was so weird and I tried to make it my own and it just came out even weirder. So last night I decided to just post what I felt like posting. I posted my Book Valet as a story (btw I hate stories but apparently they are the way to go). Then I posted my heart/love earrings for Valentine's Day next week. And the best part is I feel really good about it. Really good. I then worked on my website for a while which is something that has been weighing on my mind, so I feel good about that too. I probably only worked on all of that for about an hour and a half. That's all. Once I get into the flow of things I'm sure it will go much quicker. My goal is to get my website back up by this weekend and to be posting on social media every single day. I am using that calendar as a basis and will use the copy for inspiration, but I basically have to do it myself. I have to find my own voice. I have to put in the effort to find my own voice and I think I'm ready to do that now. I have to face the fact that until I get a real routine going, and I get posts made in advance, I will need to force myself to work on this every single night. Yes, there are times when I don't know what to post so what I need to do is create a vault of what to post when I don't know what to post. OMG, that's an awesome idea. A post vault. I also need to keep track of my posts so I don't repeat too frequently. I think I'll set that stuff up tonight and work on my website more. I'm energized and excited about this. Time to quit screwing around. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-59980176644442956862024-02-07T13:15:00.003-07:002024-02-07T13:15:54.253-07:00It's been a minute <p> and oh lord, it's been a week. I only have 10 minutes but I need to get something off my chest. </p><p>I don't know how to do what I want to do. I don't completely understand how to do social media stuff. I don't know how to go about doing it. I just don't. </p><p>I have memberships in a number of groups that are supposed to help me with this stuff, and I'm still floundering. What am I doing wrong? How do I turn this damn ship around? How do I get rolling without it consuming all my time. </p><p>I want to work out, but think I should go home and work on my social media stuff. But then I go home and sit on the couch and play games. UGH!! </p><p>Time to get off this freaking treadmill. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-74651762286700696412024-02-01T06:40:00.001-07:002024-02-01T06:40:22.644-07:00The definition of insanity<p> is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. </p><p>Well, that's what I've been doing. I've been whining and moaning about how I don't have time for my business. How I'm so, so busy during the week. How I have to go to bed so early and get up so early and I just have no time. How I need to workout and that takes even more time. Yet, I have time to sit on the couch, most nights, and watch about 2 hours of TV and play games on my computer. I have time to scroll Facebook/Instagram endlessly and look at the same posts over and over and over and over. I am done. First of all, the whining and complaining has to stop. I have 24 hours in a day just like every other person on this planet. We had a saying in college, want something done, ask a busy person. And it was absolutely true. When I am super busy, I am also super organized and on it. So, taking all of the above into account, it's time to be real with myself. </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Facebook/Instagram scrolling has to go. I can literally lose hours of time by doing that. I need to only go on if I have a purpose. </li><li>I need to work on my business every single day. That may mean working on social media stuff. That may mean creating things. That may mean looking for ideas. Whatever it is, I need to do it every single day. </li><li>Which means I generally need a plan. I can't think that I will figure out what to do when I have time to do it. I need to schedule things. I need to say, okay today I will do X, Y, and Z. Tomorrow I will do A, B, and C. I have to have a plan. </li><li>And I have to stick to that plan - no matter what. I don't care how tired I am. I don't care how much I just want to sit on the couch and veg. I have got to stick to the plan. </li></ul><div>I am tired of doing the same thing over and over and not making any progress. Because what I am doing over and over is not working towards my goals. I have fallen back into old habits. Doing what I want in the moment and not what needs to be done. Procrastination. Just look at last night. I forced myself to go make something for Cameron, even though I was mentally and physically wiped out and wanted nothing more than to just lie on the couch. I forced myself to go make something and that led to me finally folding the clothes - for the first time in 2 weeks. See, I did something and it felt good and that led to me doing something else that felt good. </div><div><br /></div><div>It is not unlike the budget. When I stay on top of things and do what needs to be done, I find that I have more time to do things. Sitting around, thinking about what I have to do, and driving myself crazy with it just makes things worse. Okay, I'm on it and I'm going to make a list right now for today and tomorrow. </div><p></p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-16891858105863117582024-02-01T04:41:00.003-07:002024-02-01T04:41:40.615-07:00Yesterday was better<p> I went in with an attitude of getting things done. I got some grading done. I got the tests that first period took graded right after they took the test. I still have a giant stack to grade, but at least it's all organized and ready to tackle. Then I came home last night and made a keychain for Cameron for tonight. So I feel a lot better about things overall. I'm bringing some work home this weekend because I need to get ahead and not just keep up. But definitely feeling better. </p><p>A week or so ago these guys knocked on my door at like 5pm. I have a habit of just blowing them off when they come trying to sell something. So I opened the door, he asked if I had my roof inspected, and I led him to believe that we had just moved in. He then told me that if we had a wind storm he could get our roof replaced by our homeowner's insurance, handed me his card and left. Hmmmm, okay. When Hubby got home I mentioned it to him and he reminded me that we had a shingle blown off - it was sitting by the front door. So last Friday I called this guy, he came out and inspected our roof and we filed a claim with The Hartford. I was informed that it is a covered expense and that an adjust would be out to examine the roof. That inspector will be here tomorrow. That's so crazy to me. I had no idea that insurance would ever cover a roof. I always thought that it was part of typical maintenance of the house. If this works out and we get a new roof, we won't have to worry about that for the remainder of our lives. Roofs last 20-30 years so this will be the one an only one we do. It's wild. I would never have thought that insurance would replace a roof for wind damage. So glad that guy came by. </p><p>Okay, that's all. Got up really early this morning and am just killing time. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-71120631393047353542024-01-31T04:58:00.004-07:002024-01-31T05:02:02.108-07:00Time to suck it up<p> I have been letting my emotions/feelings/whatever run my life lately and I don't like it. I have done almost nothing with my business since the last craft fair. My school life is spinning out of control because I don't feel like grading (news flash, I never feel like grading). I have only been to the gym once in two weeks. I feel like absolute crap. It's time to suck it up and stop acting like I'm a child. My desk, both here and at school, is pile with sh*t that I need to deal with. I am over it completely. Time to get my act together and start acting like the adult I should be. </p><p>Things I absolutely need to do: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Get my grading caught up at school</li><li>Grade the tests they are taking today in a very timely manner (have it done by Monday even if that means bringing it home)</li><li>Clean off this desk here and get things put where they belong. </li><li>Make something for Cameron - tonight!!!! (I've put it off so long I now have to rush it tonight)</li><li>Get my website back up and functioning. </li><ul><li>Process all the pictures I have taken</li><li>Post them and descriptions on my website</li><li>Put my website back in action</li></ul><li>Get my social media act together. </li><ul><li>Plan out when to post</li><li>Plan out what to post</li><li>Get the posts made and scheduled</li></ul><li>Finish the things I have started </li><li>Make a new book valet and make it better</li><li>Look into Amazon Homemade and see what that all entails</li><li>Find some fairs to do for the spring/fall</li><li>Stop being such a wussy and a baby and start doing things. </li></ul><div><br /></div><div>I have put things off so much they are weighing on my mind and dragging me down. I come home at night and sit on the couch, watch TV, and play games. I really need to break that habit, it has got to go. I need to switch things up but I'm not quite sure how, I need to figure that out. But no more sitting around wasting hours of my life no stupid games. I'm done with that. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tonight I will come home and work on something for Cameron. This is how I know that things are bad, my imagination is just gone. I have no idea what to make him and I need to make it tonight. So, enough. Today at school I'm going to focus on getting all my grading done and tonight at home I'm going to focus on getting something for Cameron. This list will go in my planner a little later but I will be doing something at night. And the gym begins again on Friday. I can go to the 6am class and still make it to Mesa by 9am. No thinking, just doing. And NO Facebook at school. NONE!!!! If I have time to scroll Facebook, I have time to do something else!!!!!!</div><p></p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-60352168937755524892024-01-27T05:31:00.004-07:002024-01-27T05:31:50.410-07:00Back to our regularly scheduled program<p> School is back on full time and that means I'm a little busy during the week and can't get here. Yesterday we had to take Mavy to get fitted for his brace. Then we had a guy come over and help us file a claim with our homeowners insurance for room damage during the big wind storm we had a while back. If it all works out, and I'm still unsure of it, we will be getting a new room and having the insurance pay for it. That would be awesome and we would basically be done with the house. Oh, we would need to get it painted, but then we would be done. So as I said, I'm still on the fence about this working, but the guy seems really sure he can pull it off. I mean it was damaged in the storm and we could definitely use a new roof, so yay????</p><p>Mavy got his brace yesterday. I think it's fair to say he hates it. But he can absolutely walk well in it and get around easily. He'll get used to it. </p><p>I do have something that is bothering me and I'm a little unsure as to exactly why it is bothering me. I have this vision for the science department at school, that we actually have a rigorous, very academic department. Right now we don't really. We have a physics teacher who is a terrible teacher and gives them the answers on tests. We have an 8th grade teacher who has such a negative attitude it drives me crazy. So one way I had thought of to up the rigor and give our students a little more, was having a science fair. My 6th & 7th grade teacher did it last year and it was really, really cool. So the idea was to up it a grade level each year, so this year was 6th, 7th, and 8th; next year would be 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th; and so on. Well, the 8th grade teacher did it this year even though she fought it tooth and nail, she at least had her students do it. But now the 9th grade teacher is balking at doing it next year. He thinks that his projects are better than a science fair - even though they serve vastly different purposes. Talking with him on Thursday really made me angry as it was really all about him - 'it will be more work for me'. I did talk to the principal about it a little as I left on Thursday. But I've been kind of stewing about it all weekend. So here are my thoughts on the subject. If we say it has to be done I can see him going one of two ways. Either he won't do it at all and that won't be fair to the students who have to do it. Or he'll do a very half-ass job, and I can honestly see him doing that. Either way it won't work out the way I would like it to and I have a feeling it will take a big fight to get anything done. Honestly, I'm not up for a fight like that. I've reached the point where I just want to put in my time and retire in 5ish years. I want to do my job well, but I don't feel the need to take any more classes or even professional development to learn new things. I'm kind of happy with the way things are now and I don't want to have to learn something new. So I see where he is coming from, he's nearing retirement also. But at the same time, I feel horrible because my 6th/7th grade teacher worked hard these last 2 years getting this thing going and laying the foundation for it to continue on. I'm just torn and honestly don't feel like fighting over it. But the principal is into it and the other teacher has put in so much work, I feel bad just letting it go. Today is the actual science fair, so I'm going to talk with the 6th/7th grade teacher and see what her feelings are. I know she was super pissed on Thursday and I don't blame her. I'm going to lay it out to her and get her views on it. I feel bad for her because this was my idea, and she took it and ran with it and has done an amazing job with it, so to just drop it seems to discount all the work she has done. I don't know. I do know that if we have to fight my heart will not be in it. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-21553429543414348232024-01-21T05:22:00.001-07:002024-01-21T05:22:05.918-07:00Manifesting what I want <p> I've heard a couple of times over this weekend about manifesting what I want. You can't get/do/be something if you don't truly believe that you can. I've decided that is my ultimate problem. I don't truly believe that I'm good enough to have someone pay me for this stuff. So I need to change that. I need to believe in myself. I need to trust that I can do these things as well, if not better, than someone else. So it's time to put that into practice. I have kind of begun already by logging everything I am doing while trying to make these coaster things. But you know what? I don't really like those coaster things. If I was super honest, I would have to admit that is not what I want to make. I want to make suncatchers. Those coaster things are nice, but definitely not what I want to make. So maybe it's time to drop them, or put them aside, and work on what I really want to work on - suncatchers. I think it might be time to be honest with myself about what I want to do. I have got to stop following the crowd. I need to blaze my own path. So I'm not even going to finish the coasters I have started. I'm just stepping away and going back to what I love. I have started another thing - book valets. I have thought these things were so cool from the first time I saw them. I have made one and just need to put it together. Can't wait to see how it comes out. I have some ideas for those too, to make them my own. Going to work on that some. The bottom line is I have to be true to myself. I can't do things because others are doing it, it will show in my work. I have to do it because I truly love doing it - that will also show in my work. So time to face the truth of the situation. I can't force myself to do something because I think it will sell. I have to have a passion for it. </p><p>Okay, that helps a lot. Sometimes I get so caught up in the trends that I lose sight of what I want to do. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I need to stop scrolling Facebook so much. I see all these things people are doing and while I think they are cool, they are not for me. I just need to stay in my lane and perfect the things that I do. </p><p>Okay, off to clean up the resin and maybe start another suncatcher. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-29721930571418509672024-01-18T04:59:00.005-07:002024-01-18T04:59:52.160-07:00Time to get over myself<p> Last year I decided that the only way to make my business successful was to do a lot of craft shows. I signed up for a few and ended up doing 3 weekends in a row. That and the end of the semester really burned me out. Not only that, but not really getting to create only make things for the holidays. It really wore me out. I was burned by the time I finished the last craft show and the semester ended. I decided to take some time off - and I mean completely off - and I did, but I haven't been able to get back into it since. We are now midway through January and I really haven't created anything or done anything at all with my website or social media for my business. Nothing. So it's time to get over myself. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it takes time. Yes, I don't really know what I'm doing. So F'in what? I have a great mentor that I'm not taking advantage of. I belong to a great group that I am not utilizing at all. I have access to some really great minds and I'm sitting over here feeling sorry for myself and saying "I don't feeeeeeeeel like it". Well, guess what? No one cares. No. One. So I need to get back on track and figure things out. I'm going to do that this weekend. I'm going to get my grading caught up today at school and tonight I'm going to sit and lay out a plan that I will absolutely, positively stick to. It will include time for social media, time for creating, a plan on what I want to create, everything. I'm so completely over this inertia that has set in. I'm in control. I can say what I will and will not do. No one can tell me different. </p><p>I need to shift the way I look at things. I have a tendency to focus on how little I have. How little time I have in the evenings. How little energy I have to do what needs to be done. I need to stop focusing on how little I have and start focusing on the fact that I have the time to do X,Y,Z. I've said this before, but I sit most nights and watch TV for at least an hour sometimes more. While I do that, I tend to play with my coloring program. I know that I do that because it is mindless and I don't have to think about what to do. That's great but it's not very productive. I have a computer there and I could very easily pick up the computer and do something simple, like plan social media posts. Respond to comments. Comment on other peoples posts. Or edit photos for my website. Or work on my website. Once I develop a plan for my website - which I still haven't done - putting them in order should be fairly mindless. I have to decide what I want most not what I want in the moment. I need to get over my own fear. </p><p>Okay, enough ass-kicking for today. I'm off to shower and conquer school today and then work on my business. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-52581373013617887452024-01-12T05:09:00.001-07:002024-01-12T05:09:07.545-07:00Well, it's been a week<p> We went back to school on Monday after Christmas break. I actually had a pretty good week. Being prepped and having everything planned makes a huge difference. But, I am already behind on my grading and will need to work on that. I should be able to get everything graded on Wednesday when we get back. </p><p>So yeah, we have a 5 day weekend this weekend. Woot Woot!!!! But, I feel myself falling back into old patterns already. Good things first. </p><p>First, I have been logging my food all week because I need to get a good handle on what I eat. Yes, it counts calories, but I'm more concerned that I get a consistent amount of food every day. I feel that is going to be more important than the actual numbers. And if I'm using the same numbers it should be comparable. </p><p>Second, I went and worked out twice so far. Coming right from school is actually easier than I thought it would be. I don't give myself options, I just go. I stay at school until 3:45 and then head out. That gives me some time to get things done around the room and I am not tempted to head home. Win-win. </p><p>Third, my energy levels have been pretty good all week but I'm afraid that might be an illusion. I got a lot of rest during break and I'm afraid that my energy this week is a hang-over from all that rest. We of course shall see as the semester progresses. </p><p>Fourth, I have not had sugar all week. I have been a little tempted what with the snack cart living in my storage closet, but I have not given in at all. </p><p>Now, for the falling into old habits. </p><p>First, I found myself getting upset in 4th period yesterday. I have a student in there that just rubs me the wrong way and I let him get under my skin. Cannot let that happen. Thankfully I had a small convo with the principal and she supports me and my perceptions so I'm all good. </p><p>Second, I slacked on the grading as mentioned above. My prep is 3rd period every day. On two of those days there is another teacher in my room teaching. Now the days I'm alone, I get an amazing amount of stuff done. But on the days she's in there I seem to fall into a lethargy and I get nothing done. Maybe it's knowing that I really can't move out of my desk, I don't want to disturb the class, or what but it's annoying. Those are the days I should be getting all of my grading done because I can only sit at my desk and not move around the room. I need to work on that mental attitude and make those days I just grade. </p><p>Third, I let myself miss strength training last night for very flimsy reasons. They were as follows: I was tired and it was cold out. Those are not good reasons to miss a workout. But I let them derail me last night. As I was sitting on the couch watching TV, I even considered going. Once I got a little rest, I felt pretty good and it crossed my mind but I was already in my pjs and so talked myself right out of it. I should know that just a little bit of rest will revive me. </p><p>Okay, my word for the year is DO and I need to remember that. I need to DO. </p><p>As I sit here typing this, I'm considering not going to work out this morning. But I believe that I have good reasons for this one. My workout is scheduled for 8am and it takes about 45 minutes. That means I would get home about 9am and I need to be in north Scottsdale by 10am, that's cutting it rather close. But I just checked the schedule and there is a class at 6:30am. Since it is only 5am now, I have plenty of time to make it to that class. Then I'll be home by 7:30 and I'll have plenty of time to get ready and get to my appointment. Okay, that's what I'll do. And it's done. </p><p>I need to be aware of these old habits creeping in and I need to keep on top of them. The fact that I recognized them so early is huge and part of the process to breaking them. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8488136.post-64583274910687427042024-01-09T05:01:00.002-07:002024-01-09T05:01:22.736-07:00What makes me feel heard? <p> Being heard to me, means that someone is not only listening to what I say but they are really understanding it, or trying to understand. They are paying attention to what I say and they are present in the moment with me. They acknowledge what I am saying without criticism or judgement. They respect what I have to say and they take my ideas into consideration. They validate what I am saying. </p><p>For me, being heard means that I need to respect the person I am talking to. I need to feel a connection to them, even if it's only for the moment. I need to feel a meeting of the minds, not necessarily agreement, but mutual respect. </p><p>Feeling validated from someone with strong, differing opinions is difficult. I don't feel heard if someone blows off what I have to say. I don't feel heard if someone shakes their head while I am talking. I don't feel heard if someone talks over me. I don't feel heard if someone is so caught up in their own opinion or story that they can't even hear what I have to say. It's not fun to talk to someone like that because you have no input. It's all about them. Also, because they tend to not take others thoughts or opinions into consideration, they have a tendency to always be right. At least in their minds. </p><p>So this is why I love blogging. I just figured out a frustrating relationship I have at school. This person always, always, always talks over everyone. Has no desire to really hear what others have to say, they just want to say what they have to say. They don't respect others. They are full of criticism and judgement, sometimes right to your face. Oh, I can see it now. It is so clear. So this person never really listens to anyone so I should stop trying to talk to them. I should be polite and make chitchat, but no more attempts at deeper conversation. That is over.</p><p>Okay, quickly back to the topic at hand. I also don't feel heard if someone just shakes their head while I'm talking - either agreeing or disagreeing. Shaking their head feels like they are blowing me off or just paying me lip service. I hate that. Listen to what I have to say and then respond. Don't just shake or nod your head at me. I really do hate that. </p><p>Okay, gotta run. </p>Flohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.com0