28 March 2006

some down time

is called for this week. I think I pulled my hamstring in the race Sunday. It's not bad but it is a little sore. Also, this is moving week. I will be losing my internet access on Friday and won't get it back until 4/5. I think I'm going to take off this week; from blogging and from training. I'm taking off work Friday so we'll be moving Fri, Sat and Sun. Hopefully by Sunday evening most everything will be put away and the new place will be livable. I hate moving and I hate living out of boxes. So if I'm scarce for a while that's why. I'll still be reading blogs during work, I can't withdraw completely :)

Okay, now I must rant on a totally unrelated subject. First a disclaimer: I suck at being a mother. I should never have had children. I don't think I did a very good job at being a mother. My only saving grace is that I tried to instill good values in my daughter and I always let her know I loved her above all else and she came first, most of the time :) She turned out to be a pretty good kid and has turned out to be an excellent mother, so I guess I did okay. Alright, I know this person who has a 16 year old daughter. This person, I'll call her A, is selfish, self absorbed, lazy, irresponsible, and pretty much can't think of anyone but herself. Everything that happens in her life happens TO her and pretty much the world revolves around her. I have always felt sorry for her daughter and through the years could see this child screaming for attention. The child has a weight problem and you could tell it's from trying to get her mom's attention. A few years ago A divorced her husband (not the child's father) and hooked up with this other guy. Now this guy had 2 daughters around the child's age. The child and the daughters did not get along at all. So, being the good mother, A chose to say with the guy and sent the child to live with her father. (UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!) The stepmom had just had a baby and was not thrilled to be stuck with a 16 year old (AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!) Eventually things did not work out. A and the guy broke up, she moved to another city, the child started running away from the dad's house, it was starting to get ugly. Well, I just found out, A hooked back up with the guy and the child is now living with them again. Saturday A and the guy went away for the weekend and left the child with the daughters (AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!) Well the child and the daughters fought. The child left and went to stay at a friends house for Sunday night, she left a message on A's cell phone telling her so. The daughters saw the child at school yesterday but A and the guy did not get home until 2 a.m. this morning. When they got up they saw the child was missing and had not come home last night. The daughters went to school and called A to tell her that the child was not at school. A then contacted me to find out if the child had contacted a 3rd party. A is crying and hysterical and just beside herself with worry. Apparently the child's 18 you boyfriend was supposed to pick her up from school yesterday. Now she's missing. While talking to A it took everything I had to hold my tongue. There were so many things I wanted to scream at her but I wisely decided now was not the right time. What the hell is wrong with her????? How could you possibly chose a man over you're own child????? How could you go away for 3 days and leave your child with people you know she hates?????? What the hell is wrong with her?????? I said, I'm not a great mother, I'm sure I was never meant to be a mother, but once I was I tried like hell to do my best and to do the best for my daughter. God, I made so many mistakes and there are so many things I wish I'd done different but I would never have done these things. What the hell is wrong with her?????? I really want to slap them both. A for being so self absorbed she can't see what's right in front of her face. The child for being on the road to really screwing up her life. What hell is wrong with her?????????

I'm not perfect and I can probably see things a little bit clearer from a distance. Also, I've raised a teenager so I have a little experience with the stupid things they do. I was just talking to my daughter and she reminded me; we left her "alone" one time. She was 16 and our neighbor (we lived in a duplex) kept an eye on her and was around all weekend in case she needed anything. That's how you leave teenagers alone.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox. I really have no room to talk about someone else but with age comes wisdom........

Anyway, I'll be lurking in the background for a week or so. Hope everyone has a great week.

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