So after my post 2 days ago, I scrapped all my to-do lists and lightened up. And it worked. My to-do list was cut down to 2 items and I completed them. Today, my to-do list had 2 items and I completed them. I also did another thing that was not on my list. All because I did not feel the overwhelming pressure a giant list or lofty goals produce in me. Okay, I think that I finally get it now. I have set my plans for tomorrow, but the rest of the week is still blank so I don't have the pressure of knowing that I have to do these things all week. I'm not sure that even makes sense, but it does to me.

So now I am left with the task of finding my motivation to work out regularly and at a high level. At least high enough to help me lose weight. So I am considering signing up for a race. I would love to do the Bisbee 1000 in October and that is enough time to get into shape for it. But now I'm afraid that signing up for a race will put undue pressure on me and I'll freeze. S…


do things others do? I seriously believe there are a set of basic skills that I am missing. How do I get them? Let's talk a little.

First, I have the hardest times making things a habit. There are a couple of things that I would like to do regularly - daily even - yet I forget all the time to do them. Why, why, why???? I make lists, I make habit trackers, I put things in plain view, and yet I still forget.

Second, why can I not stick to things? Why do I let boredom, or tiredness, or other stupid excuses get in the way of what I want to do? Why, why, why???? Do I not want these things enough???

Third, why can I not follow through on anything? I left this blog in the middle of the post to go play some games. WTF is wrong with me??????

Okay, instead of beating myself up, which is what I want to do, I need to figure out ways around these things. It's not that I can't do these things. I can, when I have the right motivation. I just can't seem to figure out how to get m…


Not my pool, but it could be.

Nearing the end of my 3rd week of vacation and I have to say, it is nice. Going to bed when I want to. Getting up when I want to. Doing pretty much what I want to during the day. Love it.... I have not gotten as much done at this point as I had hoped, but frankly, I don't care. I have spent some time doing some serious relaxing and getting back to myself and that is fabulous. I've spent a lot of time in the pool. Lots of time watching TV and reading. Absolutely fabulous.

But I do need to start getting serious about getting some things done. If I keep up at this rate I will have nothing done and it will be time for school to start again. I do have curriculum maps for all my classes done, which is really awesome. I want to get some notebooks/binders set up and have lessons for the first 2 weeks for all my classes. That's really not that hard, I just need to buckle down and get it done. If I can get that much done, I will be happy, but I also m…

First week of

is done. This is going to go fast, I can see this already. As an aside, this is my fist summer off since I started teaching. I have almost always taught summer school, and would have this year most likely because we always needed the money. The one summer I didn't teach summer school, I was freaking out over money because the crazy nun had fired me and I didn't know how we were going to survive until the new job started. Then last summer I didn't work, but I was orchestrating a trans-Pacific move and it was far more stressful than working. So this summer school because we are not broke... no big move because we live in an amazing house in a nice there is nothing to do but relax. How nice. I have been working on AP Biology, it's not going as well as I would like and I'm not sure exactly why, but I am making progress. But that's not what I want to write about today...

Initially, I was going to write about budgeting and how bad I am with m…


The last few weeks are always the strangest of the year. In April it seems like summer is so far away, but then you blink and it is summer. The last weeks go so fast and so slow at the same time. Crazy, crazy. But, it is finally over and summer break has begun. And this year I am really looking forward to summer. We are all moved and settled in the house. We have the pool and lots of time to enjoy it. I'm ready. We may take some short trips, but basically, we'll be hanging around the homestead and just enjoying our summer.

There are some things I need to do over the summer. I need to write some curriculum maps, read some books, and plan out the year for all my classes. And that is why I'm writing here. I have not taught AP Biology before. It will be a new course for me. So I need to create a curriculum map and plan out the units and lessons so that we are ready for the test. I need to do the same thing with chemistry, but that I'm more familiar with. I get paralyzed …

Nearing the end

The words every teacher loves to hear. It's the last week of school. The week we look forward to all year long. Not really, but definitely since Christmas. So next week is the last week and I could not be happier. But it has caused me to start to do some thinking. Namely about my weight. I have gone the longest time, in my adult life, without regular exercise. And I don't like it at all. But I keep doing it. So I really want to change that over the summer break. I signed up for Planet Fitness. I need to develop a routine so that I don't spend the summer sitting around doing nothing. I've said this before, but I really need to do it this time. My weight has gotten completely out of control, I don't even know how much I weigh at this point. I am tired a lot. I lack the motivation to do much of anything. And I do not eat enough. I just don't. So I need to figure out how to handle the summer so that I don't get larger than I already am.

Part of the problem is…

Morning time

I usually get up around 4 am. Lately, I haven't been getting up until 4:15 am. Wednesday morning, Bella had to go outside at 3:30 am. We let her out and when she came back in she was generally making a pest of herself. Around 3:45 am I decided to just get up and at least Hubby could get a little more sleep. So I got up early, made my coffee, and really, really enjoyed the alone time. When I don't get up until 4:15, I just have time to make coffee and use the bathroom before Hubby gets up. On Wednesday, I made coffee, used the bathroom, sat scrolling through Facebook, etc. It was really nice and relaxing. In fact, it was so relaxing that I decided to walk to work. Yes! Walk to work!!! I did and it was amazing. I quickly realized how I am missing my alone time. I am an introvert and I need that time to recharge. I love my Hubby, but I am basically with him all the time. We work at the same place. We live together. We got almost everywhere together. This is not how our relation…