30 July 2015

Glad that's over

The last few days have been full of special events. Breakfast and lunch has not been under my complete control. I've made pretty good choices, but I prefer to cook myself. Thankfully that is all over now. Starting tomorrow, I'll bring my own food and will eat like a normal person.

Tomorrow is just orientation so no teaching. I do not have a homeroom so I will be free to work on my classroom all morning. Nice. I also don't have any lunch supervisory duties, that is really nice. I'm excited about the new year. Love, love, love new starts.

So I'm looking at the start of new school year as a blank slate and complete new start. I'm going to start working out. I want to start slow, so I'm thinking of 30 minutes on the treadmill to start. Gradually I want to work up to dancing and then Crossfit type workouts. I've got it in my head that I'll return to Crossfit at the beginning of the year. I don't know exactly why I chose that time, but it's as good as any. That gives me 6 full months to do a number of things. First, get my eating under control and it looks like I'm on the way to doing that. I just need to keep it up and by 6 months it will hopefully be set. Second, work on my aerobic capacity, something I lost with Crossfit. Thirdly, build my upper body strength. I want to do pull-ups and dips and the only way to do that is to build up my upper body strength. In fact, I may start my workouts on Monday with some strength stuff. Maybe I'll do push ups, dips, shoulder presses, and sit ups in the mornings. I'd like to do my dance workouts at night and the only reason I haven't been doing them is that I've been lazy and tired. No more lazy and tired is a state of mind. I like this. Some strength in the morning and cardio in the evenings. Sounds like a plan.

Right now, I am tired so I'm heading to bed. Tomorrow will be an awesome day.

29 July 2015

First Day of School

And we are back. Today was the first day of school, at least the first day for the teachers. We always start the year with a one day retreat. It's a chance to reconnect with the other teachers, refocus on why we do this and transition back to into school mode. Tomorrow we will have meetings, both faculty and department, and then on Friday the kids come in for orientation. Classes themselves start on Monday. At my old school, these days were painful and almost useless. Many of the people there would bitch and moan the entire time. Much of the stuff we did was kind of useless and there were times we just spent sitting around. It was really, really annoying. It always started with the nun giving the same damn talk, reviewing the teachers handbook. So very annoying. Today was good though. We talked about planning and sowing seeds in our students. We answered some questions and talked about them at our table. We had some great conversation and excellent discussions. It was nice to not hear the negative talk and bitching and moaning. I really enjoyed today and I think just about everyone there did too. I have always been of the opinion that if you have to do something you might as well make it fun. In spite of some great friendships I made at the other place, some of them were always so negative and complaining. Yeah, I don't want to have to work either. I would rather be able to do what I want without working. But that is just not possible, so I will do something I enjoy and I will have fun while I'm doing it. So today was good. I think it is going to be a really, really good year.

I did not sleep well last night. It seems I woke up every hour and looked at the clock. Last time I remember checking it was after midnight. So that kind of sucked. By the time school was done today I was tired. I'm tired now. I'm getting ready to eat dinner and I'm heading to bed early. I am also treating myself to some ice cream. For 8 days I have been really good. No sugar and no dessert. So I stopped at the store and got myself some ice cream as a treat for tonight. I am definitely looking forward to that. Most eating plans tell you to have treat days. It's been 8 days with no treats. Today is a good day for it.

28 July 2015

It is that time again

This summer went quick, but it has been one of the better summers. Having the pool has actually allowed me to relax and enjoy the summer. Tomorrow we got on a faculty retreat, then Thursday is meetings and back to the business of school, finally Friday is orientation for the students. Classes resume on Monday. The end of summer is always a sad/glad time. I get bored if summer lasts too long, so I'm always a little glad to return. But it's the end of summer and back to work, that's sad. So I did not get as much done as I had hoped to, when do I ever? But I did have a good summer. I'm rested, refreshed, and ready to take on a new year.

Along with the retreat tomorrow and the meetings on Thursday come food. They will feed us. And usually it's not great. So I have to plan for it. I'm going to eat breakfast tomorrow and try to avoid the pastries they always have. Lunch I will deal with. On Thursday they should serve us a full blown breakfast so that should be fine, and again lunch I will have to deal with. Friday is orientation, so I'll handle my own breakfast, but if this is like last year they will feed us lunch. Again, something I will have to deal with. I think as long as I go in with a plan and keep my goals in mind, I'll be fine. The only lunch I'm worried about is tomorrow. Last year they served bentos. Bentos are fried meat and rice. Basically. Not looking forward to that, but I will deal.

Which brings us to the last 2 days. They have been pretty darn good. I'm eating well and not having any trouble with that. I have not been working out at all, but I hope to change that today. I have a free trial for a streaming workout site and I'm planning on doing that tonight. It has been so hot here, that by the time night rolls around I'm just wiped out. Also, I have to watch my foot. It is so much better, but still not 100%.

Okay, now I'm off to meet Amber for lunch. She's visiting on her way home and I haven't seen her in 2 years. Yeah!!! I'm off. .

26 July 2015

Day 5 & 6 plus some random musings and general plans

Yesterday was day 5 in my just one day journey and it was by far the hardest to date. Hubby worked late, really late, so I was alone all day with the opinion that I had nothing really to do, I was wrong but I'll get to that later. I did fine for breakfast and lunch, but as it got closer and closer to dinner time, I was not doing so well. I did not know if I needed to make dinner or not. I was getting hungry but for some reason did not have a real snack or my protein drink, I chose to eat popcorn. Luckily hubby got home soon after and we had a nice dinner, but after dinner I took some banana bread. Just a small piece but a piece nonetheless. Then, just before bed, I had these cookies that have been in the house for a week. They are some Japanese brand and it salty crackers with a mango filling. It did not sound that appealing and I have avoided it for a week, but last night I broke down and tried them. I only had 2, they come in little packs of 2, and they were not that good. Salt and mango??? Bleh!!!!! I did not like them very much at all, but I found myself standing there looking at them, debating on having 2 more. Luckily I came to my senses and went to bed. But it absolutely amazed me how I actually considered having more when I didn't like them. The really good part of this whole experience is that awareness is the
first step in true change, at least for me. Every really large issue I've had, like binge eating, I started to conquer with awareness of what was happening. So in spite of the fact that I ate those things, I am extremely grateful for the awareness, knowing it is the first step. So I consider yesterday a success as far as food goes.

As far as other things, not so much. I have a huge pile of work to do but I pretty much avoided it all yesterday. I ended up taking a nap I really didn't want and I got nothing much done. That I don't like. I have got to stop doing that. I read an article the other day and it really struck home for me. It was on a dissertation website and the writer was talking about how you cannot wait to write until you feel like it. All the successful writers make it a priority and usually have a writing schedule that they follow - whether they feel like it or not. I think that is my problem. I say that frequently, I don't feel like it. Too bad. I need to set a schedule for writing and I need to stick to it no matter what. I had a prospectus draft hanging over my head for 2 weeks. 2 Weeks!!!!!! I kept saying I didn't feel like it or I didn't know how to approach it. I finally sat down on Thursday to write it and I did it. One sitting. Got it done. Is it perfect? No. But it's not supposed to be. This is a reiterative process; draft-correction-draft-correction. I have to get that through my head.

Which brings us to today:

I cannot believe that I have stuck to this for 6 days. It is not so much that I have stuck with it for 6 days, but that it feels so manageable. I have not been tempted to eat crap at all - last night doesn't count - and I feel completely in control. Also, I'm not hungry and I'm not getting freaky over the numbers. I have set a calorie goal of 1800 but I have gone over a few days and I have not completely freaked out and stopped eating. Huge progress. I have found that eating is hugely important and I'm coming to terms with food as fuel. The better the food, the better the fuel, the better I feel. It is completely and totally worth it. And, after all these years, I'm finally getting it. Finally.

But I need to shift my thinking some. I need to create a schedule for writing and I need to stick to it - whether I feel like it or not. I have the opportunity to teach an online college class. This is a huge opportunity as this is what I really want to do. That is going to take more time also. And with students waiting on me, I will not be able to put it off for 2 weeks!!!! So I have got to get better at time management, I just have to. I have to come up with a plan for everything that needs to get done and stick to that plan. Whether I feel like it or not. It needs to start with cleaning this desk and keeping it clean. I can't get any work done in this mess.

So the plan today is to stick to the food plan, and work out some other plans to get ahead of the curve. I wrote something in my calendar that I need to be proactive and not reactive. That is a good way to look at it. Something to work on.

24 July 2015

Another good day

Yesterday was another really good day, Day 4. The desire for sugar seems to have left the building, I know it's never really gone and I have to be aware of it all the time. Making my meals has become a given. All thoughts of fast food or junk food is just gone. For the past week, I've been having a banana with my coffee when I get up. The thought process is that many, many nutritionists recommend eating within 30 minutes of getting up to rev up your metabolism. So I've been grabbing a banana with my coffee and eating it. Well, the last couple of days, by 8 am I am exhausted. Completely wiped out, like I had to take a nap two days in a row. So today I did not eat the banana and while I'm yawning - need to get moving - I do not feel like I need a nap. So hmmm....

But I cannot get over how amazing I feel. My stomach does not feel like it is sticking out a mile in front of me. Except for the morning exhaustion, my energy levels have been pretty darn good. I haven't taken an afternoon nap all week and I've walked the dogs the last couple of days because my foot has been feeling really good.

Speaking of my foot. I did a workout at the beginning of the week that left me sore. Really, really sore. Sore quads, hamstrings, calves, etc. While I was so incredibly sore, my foot was killing me. Like I could hardly walk pain. As my legs recovered, the pain in my foot got better. That just tells me that the pain in my foot is caused by my leg. So I have not done anything but walk since then and the foot is getting better and better. I figure to stay inactive until the foot is healed and then I will slowly start to add activity in. I'm walking now, just the dogs at night, so I will start with more walking. If that remains good, I'll start adding in some short running bursts. I plan on eventually going back to Crossfit, but I'm going to build up to it slowly. I figure it will be at least 2 months and as many as 6 months before I return. I'm okay with that. I'm in this for the long haul and not for the moment. I think that is part of my problem. I don't think about the long haul, I think only about now. And so I paid the price. But that is okay, a good lesson to learn. So I'm on the road to recovery and however long it takes is how long it takes. As long as I can keep my eating in check, I should be okay.

Alright. Enough rambling for today. I'm going to make some breakfast, shower, and figure out exactly what I'm doing today. I'm meeting a friend for lunch, but before that???? Who knows?????

Update: I am so very proud of myself today. I knew I was going out to lunch and I planned for it. I had a smaller breakfast than normal and I chose a chicken quesadilla for lunch. Awesome. Felt so good. Feel so good. So proud. Good choices. Woot!! Woot!!! Now I'm going to finally eat dinner.

23 July 2015

Day 3

Beginning to feel like I'm on a roll. Yesterday was day 3 in my just one day and it was pretty good. I was really tired, like took a nap at 8 am tired, but I think that might have been from the lack of sugar. Yesterday marked 3 days I have gone without sugar. There is a point where my body goes through withdrawals from sugar and that may have been happening yesterday. I honestly didn't start out to eliminate sugar, but as a result of eating whole food and not snacking, I did and it's awesome. So expect for feeling a little tired and sluggish - which will pass - I'm feeling pretty good. I no longer feel like I'm pregnant with my stomach sticking out in front of me. I am regular - if you know what I mean. I have been tracking my food at my fitness pal and I just checked and my sugar intake has not exceeded 60 grams in the last 3 days. Most of those 60 grams have come from bananas and beets. Awesome. I don't mind sugar that comes from food, I just would like to avoid added sugar. So things are going very well. I have been weighing myself each morning and while I haven't seen any loss yet, my weight seems to have stabilized. No wild fluctuations up or down. So except for some tiredness, which I seem to be feeling today also, I'm really feeling good. Plus, I know that once this tiredness passess I'll be full of energy.

Another good thing, yesterday was the first day in a long, long time I was not in agony walking. My foot hurt a little bit, but nothing serious. I walked the dogs and it really felt amazing. So hopefully that is on the mend also.

Just going to keep plugging along for just one more day. Just one day......

21 July 2015

Really good day 2

Today was really good. I'm a little surprised by that, but it was. I stuck to my eating plan and stayed away from sugar. I had planned for a large lunch and still kept my day reasonable. I am so proud of myself right now. Mostly because I stayed away from sugar. That is huge on day 2. I went to school this morning and did some work in my classroom. Tomorrow I'm staying home and working on stuff here so it should be another good day. Just one day. I need to keep that focus. I have to avoid looking at the big picture and getting overwhelmed. Just one day. I need to keep that in mind for all the things I have to do. Just focus on what I can do today, let tomorrow take care of itself. Just one day....