17 May 2015
Not that anyone reads this. It's more for me to keep track of life in general.
The last two weeks have been fairly uneventful. The end of the school year is odd. It ramps up in a way and slows down at the same time. I can't explain it, but it is unlike any other job. So the end of the year is within reach. Next week is the last week of teaching and the following week is exams and then pau. That will nice. I teach over the summer at Kamehameha and I'm looking forward to that, but I get a week off in between.
I turned in my final assignments for my classes yesterday. I was so excited to get those done that I sat at this computer for 7 hours yesterday working on them. I never even got fully dressed. I went to Crossfit, came home and showered, and put my night gown on again and sat down. I never got dressed yesterday. But the classes are done. All I have left now is my dissertation. I do have one more class to take but I need approval on my prospectus first and I'm waiting on that. I'm thinking that I may just wait on the class until next quarter just because. It will be nice to have no assignments and the only thing I have to do is work on my premise. I believe that once the prospectus is approved - which should be soon - I then start working on the first three chapters which become my premise. When that is complete I have to defend it. Once I get past that defense, I can then begin my research and start writing the rest of the dissertation. Once it is all complete, I have to defend it for a final time and once I pass that I am a doctor. I cannot wait. It sounds like a long, drawn out process but if I work diligently I can get it done in a year or a little more. So that is very exciting.
Food has been good overall. When I started this food logging journey, I discovered that I didn't eat enough. The first few days where I was supposed to hit 1800 calories was hard. But I did it and kept it up and now it is pretty much a habit. The second week I was to focus on getting 130 grams of protein. I've been doing pretty good with that, though some days I fall short and I'm not quite sure why. Last week coach wanted me to keep my fat grams down to 70 and I've been doing that pretty much consistently so that was good. Today there is a nutrition clinic where they are going to tell others about this. I'm going to see if I can learn anything about what to eat. Oh, something else that happened quite organically, I now eat every 2-3 hours. I did not set out to do that on purpose, I just find that I get hungry every 2-3 hours when I eat right. Sleep has been truly amazing, I don't think I've had a bad night since I started. And I feel stronger most of the time, not sure if that's really true but it is how I feel.
Been going to Crossfit more than not and that is awesome. I went on Friday and the WOD included running and like a fool I ran. Woke up yesterday with my plantar screaming, so bad I have to wear my shoes in the house. Went to Crossfit yesterday anyway, I figured if it was going to hurt, it was going to hurt for a reason. Woke up this morning and it was slightly better, but still sore. Sitting here in my nightgown and shoes. Still going to Crossfit this morning, call me crazy - whatever.
So things are overall going well. I need to clean up this room, after a lot of classwork the past 2 weeks the desk and room is just a disaster. I also need to do some housework. I've been so focused on schoolwork the last couple of weekends, not much has gotten done around here. That all changes today because I have nothing to work do after Crossfit. I do have some meal prep to do and I may make a quick trip to Costco, depends on how I feel later. Other than that, I will spend the day putting my life and environment back in order.
07 May 2015
On Sunday I talked to the coach and we decided that I should try to stay around 1800 calories and get 130 g of protein. I have done that every day this week and I cannot believe how I feel.
First, I no longer feel pregnant. My stomach had gotten so big that I felt like I was pregnant. I would sit down and have this huge bulge where my lap should be. It was horrible. Well, that is fading. I no longer feel that way and while my stomach is still large, it is getting smaller by the day.
Second, I don't just get hungry, I get HUNGRY!!! And it happens more frequently. I'm not sure I can explain it, but I eat and get full - not stuffed, just full - then a couple hours later I'm hungry again. I'm eating less per meal, but more often. And this is something that evolved all on it's own. I take it as a sign that my metabolism is getting normal.
Third, I feel better and have more energy. I still get tired, but not the exhausted feeling I used to get. I'm more motivated to do things because I just feel better.
Fourth, I do not want sweets. I ate dinner earlier and I'm sitting here still feeling comfortable and not craving sweets like I normally would. I have a package of Oreo's sitting in my kitchen that I haven't touched in a couple of days. I will probably end up throwing them away.
An increase in protein has made a huge difference on me. The real challenge will be to keep it up during the weekend. My eating just goes to hell on the weekend, so that will be my challenge this week.
01 May 2015
Well, clearly blogging every day is just not in the cards, at least not for now. That's okay. I have been tracking my calories every day this week and I have learned a couple of things. First, let's look at some numbers:
This is probably the best week I've had food wise, in a very long time.
What did I discover:
- eating regularly causes you to be hungry.
- eating regularly gives you energy
- eating regularly helps you sleep
I have felt really good this week. Generally had much more energy than usual, though yesterday and today I was exhausted. I have been sleeping like a baby. And I have just generally felt really good. Amazing what a little food will do for you.
On Sunday I will talk with my coach again and start working on hitting some targets. I really like how this is going, so I will be happy to follow it through.
26 April 2015
I have to get into the habit of closing out the day. I need to make sure that I log all my food every day and I would like to take 10 minutes and recap the day here. So here goes.
Crossfit this morning was brutal but I went. Food was pretty good. I had my Progenex protein powder in my coffee and what a jolt that gave me. I didn't eat food until lunch when we went to Kona Brewery after a Costco run. Then I took a nap and prepped for the week. Egg casserole made and cold brew coffee brewing. I'm going to have a scoop of Progenex in my coffee in the morning and in some cold brew coffee in the afternoon. I always get tired around 2-3, so this should pick me up. Plus if I'm going to Crossfit it will give me something to work off.
I realize now that I just do not eat enough food. I have days where I stuff myself, but most days I fall far short of what I should be eating. I'm working with a coach at Crossfit and we are working on that. For this week, I am just to track everything I eat. We are going to reverse diet me into a reasonable amount of calories. Thinking back on when I was the skinniest and the healthiest, I was always eating. I would eat and 30 minutes later was hungry again. I needed a lot of food. That was when I had the most energy and was constantly doing something. Time to get back there.
Okay, I'm tired and tomorrow starts my new morning routine, so it's off to bed.
25 April 2015
Today went pretty well. I went to Crossfit and did the partner WOD this morning, that was fun. Then I had Subway for lunch; worked on my assignment; walked the dogs; and had dinner. When I left to walk the dogs I realized I was starving. I had Subway at noon and it was 5 pm when I walked the dogs. No snacks, no junk food, and I survived. Wow, what a concept. I did get my assignment done so that made for a very successful day. I did not get my prospectus done and that bums me out. I have a pretty full day tomorrow, but I have to find some time to read and write. I just have to do it. I just have to find the time and fit it all in. I guess that means getting up early in the morning and trying to get something done before I start my day. Which means I should get my butt to bed now so that I can get up in the morning.
I think it is time to restart project me. I was doing pretty good at the beginning of the year, but then things started to slip. I have found that in order for me to achieve anything, I need to keep focused on it. I need to think about it every single day. So, I think restarting Project Me is a great way to do that. Possibly even checking in here briefly every day. We will see how that goes. I can find the 10 minutes to blog every day. I just need to be organized with my time.
Okay, so, goals for the week of April 26 - May 2:
Fitness: Crossfit 5x; walking the dogs 6x; running/walking in morning 5x; meeting my step goal every day.
Health: Prep food on Sunday and track calories every day. Aim for 1500 a day.
Work: Being organized and keeping on top of things. Finish the year strong.
School: Devote 1 hour every night to school work. This has been difficult, but with a little planning and focus it can be done.
Finances: Reinstate the moratorium on spending. Check the bank balance every night. Fill out the paperwork I have that needs to be completed.
I think part of the reason that Project Me derailed is that it was for a month at a time. I don't work that way, my focus isn't long range. So I will do a week at a time and see how it goes.
So this technically starts tomorrow but I'm going to start working on these things today. I will put these things in my journal and have it right in front of my face every day. Definitely no excuses. Okay, off to Crossfit for the partner WOD.
24 April 2015
don't always work out. I had the best of intentions 2 weeks ago and it just did not work out the way I wanted. I have been stressed about all kinds of things and as a result, just not motivated to do much. As a result, I have not increased my activity as I wanted to do and, in fact, have gotten in less sessions at Crossfit. Eating has not been horrible, but it could be better. I am stumped as to what to do about food. I have so much information, so many plans, so much knowledge, and yet I can't seem to find what works for me. I think I'm going to stick with tracking my food and trying to stay with my calories. Which is another problem. At one site it says I should 2000 calories, another site says 1800, while another says 1500. That's a pretty good spread. It's enough to make the difference of success or failure. So exactly how many calories should I really eat??? Who knows????
And let's talk about activity. I have been doing Crossfit for 2 1/2 years and am larger than I have been in 15 years. Hmmm...What is going on? Well, thinking back on things, I have always been my healthiest and felt my best when I am working out twice a day. I used to get up and run or bike in the morning; swim at night; ride my bike to WW on Saturday morning or go for a 6 mile run/walk after WW. I did a lot of cardio. Cardio loses weight. There is just no way around it. I've been lifting weights and doing short workouts at Crossfit and it's just not working. At least for me. So I have got to add cardio. And the easiest cardio is running. Yes, my knee is not in the greatest shape, but I believe that a lot of that has to do with the weight. If I can get some of the weight off, I truly believe my knee will improve. For now, it's a matter of taking it easy and not going crazy. I also need to reduce the time I spend sitting on my ass at the computer. It would be the perfect thing if I could walk on the treadmill during those times. I need to move more and there is no other way around it. Also, when I sit in my chair at the computer, I get tired. If I get up and get moving I won't be so tired.
I also looked back on the years and found that I was always most motivated to workout when I was training for something. When I was running a lot of races, I was motivated all the time. Those races really kept me going. And I felt amazing. I felt really great and motivated during the Crossfit open, but since then my workouts have been kind of blah. I don't feel any reason to push myself just to push myself. So having some goal in mind makes working out much better and gives me a whole lot more motivation.
So taking all these things into consideration, I'm going back to basics. I'm going to shoot for 1500 calories a day. I will track everything I eat everyday. I am starting couch to 5k on Monday. I will be doing this in the mornings at 5am. 3 days of running and walking on the other days. Then I will do Crossfit and walk the dogs at night. On the weekends I will do Crossfit and walk on the treadmill when working. I need to keep moving. All this sitting is getting to me. I always feel better on the days I move most and I sleep really well when I'm moving a lot.
So that's the plan. This weekend will be spent getting ready for Monday and Monday morning I will get up at 4:30 am and be on the treadmill by 5 am. No excuses, no reason to miss anything. I have always found that working out creates a lot of good energy and I know my dissertation will progress much better if I have a lot of energy and am moving a lot more. So that is the plan. The moving starts tomorrow with the partner WOD at Crossfit. That will be a good way to get things rolling. I would like to ride my bike more too. Maybe it's time to drag it out of storage and keep it handy for the weekends. Hmmm...that would be great.
Definitely time to try a new plan and get things moving again.
16 April 2015
It's been a while. After Easter weekend we had a huge blow up with the neighbors. They ended up calling the cops because a friend had a tire on the common driveway. It was so stupid and they've been acting like as*holes lately. Unreal. After that, the wheels really came off the bus. My stress levels were through the roof. My stomach was a churning mess for days. My workouts became non-existent and all I could think about was those as*holes and what they might do next. I took off on Monday to try and get a restraining order but it was denied. We ordered camera surveillance equipment for the house, that gets here tomorrow. Then I came up with the idea of mediation, but now I'm not sure I'm going to follow through on that. Ugh....So I spent most of the last week and a half completely stressing out and letting my life just go to sh*t. I got nothing done all week, no schoolwork, little grading, no planning, my desk was an absolute mess, piled high with mail. It was horrible.
But that all ended tonight. I came home exhausted, like I have been every night. I took a nap on the couch and while I was sleeping something changed. It did. I woke up determined to take control of my life back and not let those as*holes win. So I came in and went through all the mail on my desk. I dusted off my calendar and started entering things in it again. I have made to-do lists and checklists. I have a plan for the weekend and I'm feeling like I'm back in control of things. I have a lot to catch up on, but with a little diligence I can do this and I will do this.
What this whole nonsense has done is put a firm timeline on our exit strategy. 18-24 months and we are gone. We have a good, solid plan and now it's just a matter of making it happen. The primary factor is my Ph.D. I have got to get that finished so we move that to the top of the list. So work on that will now become a priority. I need to keep focused on that.
Over these last 2 weeks too my workouts have been non-existent and my eating has been awful. Time to get back on track again. I'm going to start hoping on the treadmill in the mornings and tracking all my food. Time to get my sh*t together and lose this freaking weight. I can do anything I put my mind to and this is what I choose to put my mind to. I'm going to start running again. It will not be fast and it will not be far, but I am going to run. I figure it will help me lose weight and once I lose some weight the knee will get better.
Okay, now that I have my life firmly back in my hands, I'm getting tired. It's not even 9 pm yet and I'm ready for bed. That's not a bad thing. Time to take control again.