23 August 2014
That is one really good thing about this life. There is always a chance to start over. Today is that day for me. It all starts anew today. My plan for today is as follows:
Banana with almond butter before Crossfit
Party this evening
Tomorrow, wash, rinse, repeat.
I have a few things that need to get done this weekend, so I will work on them today. Tonight is a surprise party for a friend, so that should be fun. Oh yeah, need to buy a present. That's about it. Hopefully it will be warm so I can spend some time in the pool. Also, need to do a little cleaning around here, this desk is a disaster. Other than that, just taking it easy.
So one step at a time.
22 August 2014
The nightmare that was my last job is now officially over. I got my first paycheck at my new job. This is my first paycheck in 3 months. It felt good to be able to sit and pay my bills. I have gotten behind on one and I need to catch up. What I have decided to do though is put myself on a money diet. For the next few months I am not spending anything except what I absolutely have to. We have plenty of money, we make plenty of money, we just spend too freely. Once before I completely turned it around. I turned it around enough to buy this house. I can do it again and I am going to. The financial goals are to get the three credit cards paid off - that should not take long - get my car paid off, and start putting an extra payment towards the mortgage. It is all possible, I just need to stop the indiscriminate spending. I see something and I buy it. Enough. The only money I'm allowed to spend is for Crossfit every month. That is it.
In other news. I have got to get control of myself. My eating, though not horrible except at night, is just too sporadic. I don't eat breakfast. I eat at 10am. I don't eat until 3 pm. This has got to stop. I have got to get a routine around eating and I have got to stick to it. I need to figure out when I am going to eat, and that switches everyday, and then just stick to it whether I am hungry or not. I don't eat at lunch, then by 2:30 I am so hungry I can't see straight so I eat. Then I'm not hungry for dinner. It's a terrible, terrible cycle. I have got to break it and I have got to do it this week. That will be my goal this weekend, to come up with a plan.
I also have to get my butt back to Crossfit. I was just plain old lazy this week. I did not go to Crossfit and I did not walk the dogs. All. Week. Tomorrow that changes. Tomorrow morning will be Crossfit and the dogs in the afternoon. Same for Sunday. And Monday for that matter. I remember when I started at the lab, my feet hurt for weeks. Going from basically sedentary to on your feet all day takes a couple of weeks to adjust to. I have had 3 weeks to adjust to school and I'm over the feeling. Time to just suck it up and move on.
I know that I have said this for the last few weeks, but those weeks were brutal. I would come home exhausted with feet that hurt so bad I could hardly walk. That was part of the reason I took it easy on myself this week. I wanted to get over that feeling and I knew this was week number 3 and it should be passing now. So this weekend I am going to really look things over. When can I eat? What can I eat, because many times I am grabbing food as I run. I need to keep it simple, but tasty so that I will eat it. Planning, planning, planning....that's what it's all about this weekend.....
18 August 2014
Last week was not that bad. I have to let it go and move on. That started today with a new week. I did pretty good today. In spite of being really tired last night, I made myself breakfast and lunch. I went to Crossfit this morning. When I got to school at 7 am, I wasn't hungry. I ate a banana and moved on. At my break at 10 am I was definitely hungry. I did not want to eat my breakfast though, so I ate my lunch - cheese sticks wrapped in ham delish!!! Came home and jumped in the pool. Had some poke and potato chips. Waiting for dinner of pot roast and veggies. Yum. Hope to have some for lunch tomorrow too.
The good news is that I have stopped the upward progression of the scale. For the last 3 weeks it has been at exactly the same weight. That is a good thing. I need to get in moving in the downward direction, but not going up is good.
That's all I have to say. I'm tired and want to eat dinner.
14 August 2014
I started this week with the intention of it being perfect. I would eat right. I would Crossfit. I would be drink water like it was my job. I even said to myself, I plan on dropping about 10lbs of water weight this week. Well, if only I was perfect and that had worked out for me. But it didn't. I did well on breakfast. Most days. Lunch was mostly good, though some days I either didn't eat it or I ate it really late. Dinner was pretty good. But i had dessert almost every night. I ended most work days hungry and ate some crap. One day I ate 1/2 a bag of peppermint patties. Sigh...I need to get a handle on my schedule and a grip on my prep work so that these things don't happen. I need to be able to take the time and eat lunch at lunch time. Not spend the day running all over so that by 3pm I'm wiped and starved. I have also discovered that I don't like some of my old favorites. I used to love pork butt but I made one last week and bleh.... I need to come up with some decent recipes to make ahead for lunch. I also need to some planning for the entire week on the weekends so that I am not planning on the fly.
So, I'm not perfect, but then I've never claimed to be. So I've tried and it didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to, but I'll keep trying. Next week is another chance to try.
10 August 2014
Since getting the pool, I spend a lot of time in a bathing suit. All of my bathing suits were old, faded, and the elastic was losing it's elastic. While out today we stopped at Kmart and I found this suit. It's a two-piece, tankini kind of thing. I absolutely love it. The bottom is generous to cover my butt and the top fits perfectly. It is amazing how one small thing can just change your attitude all around. I feel so good in this suit. I am so comfortable. I can wear it all day. And I will wear it all day as I jump in and out of the pool - it's hot here today. But this one small thing has just turned my attitude right around.
Before going to Kmart, we went to Costco. There were a few things we needed. Somewhere over the course of this weekend, I made the decision to clean up my eating. I'm not sure when, where, or why that happened. I do know there was not talking, debating, compromising, or anything else. My brain at some point just said enough. While in Costco I bought salad stuff, so I could have big salads all week. I have some cooking planned for today to prep me for next week and apparently that is that. Weird, but good. I like when my brain decides things without consulting me. Between the decision to clean up my eating and the new bathing suit, I should have my act together in no time at all.
09 August 2014
Yesterday, as a hurricane day, was okay. Not perfect, but okay. I had a great breakfast; omelet with bacon, sausage, peppers, onions, cheese; awesome. Never had lunch but ate some Fritos and liquid cheese. Then we went out to dinner at Denny's. Had a burger, fries, and a milkshake. So part of the day was really good and part not so good. Oh yeah, I had dessert too. But breakfast was awesome and I felt awesome after eating it. I have to remember that.
This morning I'm supposed to go to Crossfit but I'm debating it. It's raining. My knee hurts a little. I'm still kind of tired. I can pass on today and go tomorrow. I need to listen to my body too. If my knee is hurting, I should probably wait until tomorrow. Hard to tell if I'm being smart or just justifying an excuse. I have about 20 minutes to figure it all out. Maybe another cup of coffee will help.
08 August 2014
When trying to make a change, my typical reaction is to just change everything. If I want to get organized I will clean and organize everything and then tell myself I will straighten up every night before bed. Well, that is highly impractical. I will do it for a night or two and then I will be really tired one night and not do it. Then the next night I may forget. Then, before I know it, things are a mess again. I know me. I know that in order to make really lasting changes, I need to take baby steps. So that's what I need to plan. Baby steps. So let's work this out.
I want to do the following:
- Crossfit 5x a week
- eat mostly paleo - no processed food
- drink 100 oz of water everyday
- walk the dogs every night
Okay, feeling better already. For the coming week I will focus on eating. I will make breakfast and lunch and drink water like it's part of my contract. I will not force myself to go to Crossfit on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, but I will definitely go on the weekend.
This takes the pressure off of myself, and god knows I have enough pressure with the classes I'm taking and the classes I'm teaching. So, for next week the focus is on food and not the workouts. That may last for a couple of weeks, we will see how it goes. Once I have the food basically under control, I will start working on the workouts. Oh yes, baby steps. Feel so much better now.
Had great plans for this week, but they didn't turn out so well. I started the week off very optimistic. Got up and went to Crossfit at 5am on Monday morning. Got to school and got ready for the day. Made it through my first couple of classes well, but in prepping for the afternoon classes, I didn't take the time to eat lunch. By 3:30pm I was completely exhausted and my feet were killing me. Came home, had a hot dog, walked the dog, and called it a night. On Tuesday I forced myself to eat lunch and I felt much better in the afternoon. Woke up on Wednesday with my knee throbbing. No Crossfit. Had a small lunch and by afternoon I was exhausted again. Didn't walk the dogs. Thursday woke up feeling good. Forced myself to eat lunch and felt fine yesterday afternoon. Didn't walk the dogs because of the rain from the coming hurricane. All these days I ended up eating crap at night. I need to break that habit. I'm going to indulge in a little navel gazing to see if I can figure this out.
I know that I am making really poor choices because I'm tired. That I understand. I also realize that I am tired because I'm back to school. I spent 3 months doing nothing, so going back to work is tough. Plus, I'm at a new school and I'm teaching different classes. All of that adds to the stress I'm under. This will all ease as I adjust to working again and get used to all the changes I've going through. Having said that, I can not give in to the desire to just ride it out and wait until I adjust. It would be so easy to just say, I'll skip Crossfit and eat whatever until I adjust to the new schedule. That will not help at all. I need to have a solid plan that will carry me through the week or so until I do adjust. That may mean going to bed really early - I'm okay with that. It also may mean wearing my knee brace for a while and taking ibuprofen regularly, because part of being excessively tired is my knee hurts. So I must have a solid plan that I follow to the letter. Part of that plan involves food. I need to come up with food that meets a number of criteria. It must be quick and easy to eat, and it must be seriously portable. I will also need to schedule short, power naps. Seriously. Until I adjust completely, short naps will be the key to getting through this. I can set my internal clock for 10 minutes and completely fall out for that amount of time. When I wake I'm generally refreshed and revived. So I need to factor some power naps in. I also need to stop eating crap. I've been eating far too much of that because I am too tired to make good choices. So that has got to go.
Okay, I have some ideas in my head now. I just need to fill in the details and come up with a comprehensive plan. I will be back later to update this post with a detailed plan.