Monsoon season has arrived

and we got our first rain yesterday. Actually, it's still raining a little this morning. It wasn't a lot of rain, but it was rain. After living in Hawaii for nearly 30 years, where it rained almost every single day and sometimes twice a day, I never thought I would be so happy to see rain. But it's been 2 years here and I think we've had 2 or 3 good showers of rain. So every little bit is exciting. I hope it stays kind of rainy and cloudy today so that I can take Maverick on a short hike. The whole idea behind getting another dog was to have a hiking partner. It would be nice to actually take him hiking. But it's been far too hot to go out during the day and I'm not getting up at o'dark thirty to go. So that may happen today with any luck.

So this week has been better in that I'm not whining near as much, but I'm not at the activity level I would like to be. I haven't been to the gym all week. I haven't got close to my steps all week. I have, however, made progress in the things I wanted to work on like my curriculum so that's good at least. But I still need to up my game more.

The problem is when I get to working on something I get lost in it. Especially if I'm making progress that I haven't made before. Also, when I hit on a plan of action, I generally keep going because I don't want to forget either what I'm doing or my goals with it. Is that silly? Maybe, but that's the way I work.

I did get 2 new diamond painting kits but I have not gotten obsessive with them. I have worked on one but have actually gone days without working on it, so I think it was only the first one that sucked me in. Or was it the Arrested Development???  Not sure which.

Guess that's about it. Need to get moving but I really am getting so much done. I would like to be able to take a couple of weeks and not have to worry about anything. We'll see how that goes.

it is done

This is what has been completely derailing me for the past 2 weeks. Every time I had a minute to spare, I would jump on this and it would be hours later before I realized it. Well, now it is done and I won't be working on it anymore. In truth, it was this and Arrested Development that kept me occupied.

They made a new season of this and I thought it would be good to watch the first 4 before watching the new season. And it was a good idea, as I had forgotten lots. But the seasons of this thing were long, 22 episodes - like it used to be. Anyway, I would sit down to do my turtle and turn on this and boom, hours would go by. It's nice to be able to lose myself in something but this was getting out of hand. Now, both are done. I finished Arrested Development last night and the turtle this morning. So that is the end of that. I do have a couple of more coming but I'm going to have to be more disciplined with them.

The good news is that this has kept me off facebook most of the week and that has been nice. That part I need to keep up. I just basically closed Facebook and turned off the notifications. Out of sight, out of mind is true in this case. I will go and look but after just a few minutes get bored and close it again. It's really the same thing over and over and over and over..........Enough of that.

Now I need to get back to work and structure the rest of my summer so I get things done. I have signed up for 3 classes that I must complete quickly. I need to take my Praxis tests for chemistry and biology. And I need to get my courses organized. Plus I need to get back on the walking wagon. That has slipped a whole lot since school ended.

This picture popped up in my memories yesterday:

Look at me!! Look at me!!! I'm freaking huge. My arms are gigantic. I have no neck at all. And look how I fit in that chair. I still sit in that chair but I take up a whole lot less room now. I know that motivation should be intrinsic and not extrinsic, but looking at a picture like this from 1 year ago really makes me want to keep going. So getting in my steps will be a priority for the rest of summer. Even if it's hot, I have to do it.

Okay, that's enough. Just needed to document the end of the sloth period of summer. Having some friends over today and need to get some things done.

Time to stop the whining and excuses

There are parts of this blog that I really, truly hate because it is all a bunch of whining. I don't delete it though because it reminds me that I do that. Well, the last few posts have been of that variety. Whining. Excuses. And nothing much getting done. I need to change that and I need to change it now. I have spent the first 3 weeks of my break basically sitting on my butt. It is time to get things rolling again. Part of the problem, and yes, this is an excuse, is that I got this stupid diamond painting thing that I'm kind of obsessed with. I probably spent 5 hours working on it just yesterday. It is almost done and I think it will help when it finally is done. The thing is I sit and work on it while I'm rewatching Arrested Development to catch up for the new season that came out last week. I've been letting my desire to do those 2 things overrule all other desires. So I'm faced with a dilemma. Do I continue to work and get this thing finished that will free up a whole lot of time to get school work done, or do I use my brain and override my desire to work on it and do other things?  I honestly don't know the correct answer. Of course, I want to just finish it. Maybe I will do that. Instead of fighting myself to do other things with that sitting there tempting me, I'll just finish it. I could probably finish most of it today if I work at it. Once that is done though, I will lay out a plan to get everything else I need to finish done. I have 3 classes to take and a curriculum to write. I need to get to work. Okay, Monday I will start devoting time to school work. I will finish this diamond painting this weekend and that will be that. Done and done!!!!

Time to get things done

So the thing I've been struggling with most is getting my steps in. I have not hit 10,000 steps in probably 3 weeks. The closest I've come is around 8,000. Not good enough. So I came up with an idea this morning. What if I broke the steps down into smaller pieces and set times for them to be done?  So if I want 10,000 steps and I'm awake from 5:30 - 8:00, that means that every 3 hours I need to have about 2,500 steps in. So it's 7:30 right now and I have 1,410 steps. I need another 1,000 steps in 1 hour. That's easy. So I need 2,500 by 8:30 am; 5,000 by 11:30 am; 7,500 by 2:30 pm, and 10,000 by 5:30 pm. That would have me finishing up my steps right around the time we walk the dogs at night. Perfect. That seems so much more doable than sitting at 6 pm and looking at 8,000 steps that need to be done. So I'm going to give this a shot today and see how I do.

Mental Health is a precarious thing

I tend towards depression. I truly believe that about 12-13 years ago I fell into a deep depression. I really did not care about anything. I stopped caring about keeping the house clean or doing anything good for myself because I felt it was all useless anyway. Then we went on vacation, our truck caught fire and we got evicted and weird as it sounds, that caused me to snap out of my depression.  I was forced by circumstances to make a change and that change resulted in my being snapped out of my depression. Once I realized what was wrong, I realized that I needed to pay close attention in order to not get dragged down again. Since then, I have been depressed a time or eight, but as soon as I realize what is happening I take actions to counter it. Also, and I think it's because I'm more aware, I try not to let it happen. Well, it happened. Ever since school got out I've been a little off. My last couple of posts are how I haven't been able to get my steps in or how things were not going as planned. These are signs that I'm letting depression get to me. Also, I stopped filling out my planner  - a sure sign of depression. I was using a bullet journal but I know myself and that was just an excuse for not using my planner. So that's all over. I filled out my planner today and I'm going to do the things I set out to do. Today is the last day of feeling all mopey and saddish.

I read something a long time ago that said you should get up and get dressed every day - all the way down to your shoes. So I'm going to take that advice. I spend most days in a bathing suit and I think I need to set limits on that. So I'm going to get up, shower, and dress in the mornings. After walking the dogs, I'm going to create a to-do list and then get to doing.  I have a whole lot I want to accomplish this summer and we are already 3 weeks gone. I need to get my butt moving. So starting tomorrow, things will be different. I am determined to be successful this summer.

Le sigh.......

My well-laid plans of yesterday did not pan out. I did get some school work done and I did get on the treadmill a couple of times, but I did not get 10,000 steps in, I only got 5,800 - which is better than the 3 previous days, but not what I wanted. So I need to try again today. Same plan, just more conscious effort to do it.

I also need to go somewhere. Anywhere. Just out for a bit. I may go cruise Target for no reason other than I can. I may go to Famous Footwear to look. Or maybe Ross's. I don't know. I don't really want to spend money, but I need to get out and it's too hot to go anywhere outside.

I did avoid Facebook for long stretches yesterday and that was good. I got more accomplished because I wasn't scrolling for hours and hours. So I need to keep that up. I did not set a timer when I got on it, but I did not stay long anytime I was on.

I am going to use my mindfulness and not beat myself up, but use yesterday as a learning experience. Okay, that didn't work so well because I let myself slide. No sliding today.

AltShift has taught me a lot about how our minds can derail us, and now I need to use that information to not let yesterday get me down. Yesterday is over and done and there is nothing I can do to fix it. Today I will make my choices one at a time, independent of any other choice I make. That is where mindfulness comes in. And I need to use it to make the best choices I can today.

Already feeling better and more focused. Right now I need to prep my bullet journal for next week.

Struggling

Okay, I am starting my 3rd week of summer break and I'm already falling into bad habits. My social media holiday did not last long, I need to get back into that. I'm feeling like I don't want to go anywhere. That is usually the first symptom of the lethargy that will descend if I don't be careful. I have not been getting near enough steps in either. It's time to change all that before it gets out of hand completely. I need to get angry and make some changes so let's see what I can do.

I just went and took my bi-monthly measurements. I'm down another 3ish pounds, and all my other measurements are down or the same, but my waist is up an inch. Why????? Well, I haven't been as strict on the food part as I should and I haven't been walking. Also, my sleep has been funky. I have been staying up late and I may not have been getting 8 hours some nights. Okay, time to regroup and get my shit together before it all goes to hell.

Starting today, the plan will be as follows:

• Whenever I get on Facebook I will set a timer. When the timer goes off I will go off Facebook. End of story!!!! No sitting and scrolling for hours. 
• When I am working on something, I am going to set an alarm for every hour and get up and walk for 5 minutes. No matter what I am in the middle of. 
• I will work on school work for 2 hours every single day. 
• I will also work on the classes I need to take for 2 hours every single day. 
• I will do my workouts, if they are scheduled, first thing in the morning before I start anything else. 
• I will get in 10,000 steps every single day even if I have to jump on the treadmill for an hour before I go to bed. 

That's it. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I will do these things every single day and I will not go to bed until they are done. I will not do my diamond dots until they are done. End of story. Time to get pissed and get my act together.