31 August 2006

The comedy that is my life.

Let's see if I can relate the true absurdity of last night.

It all began Tuesday night. When out in the backyard we noticed a smell of something dead. Some very minor investigation lead us to believe it was in the neighbor's yard and we dropped it. When we went to bed that night the smell was strong. We had to turn the fan on to chase the smell away so we could sleep.

Yesterday, on the way home from work, hubby says, "we are going to find that dead thing even if it's in the neighbor's yard and get rid of it" I was totally cool with that, I did not want to smell it anymore.

Once home the hunt began. We searched around the side of the house where the smell is the strongest and realized it was under our house. We (by we I mean my husband while I hid) proceed to remove the slats covering the crawl space and look under. I am standing around the corner trying to avoid seeing whatever is there. My husband says "What's that?" very innocently and I just lean around the corner to look. Oh god, it's a dead cat. Eeeewwwwwww!!!

We (see above definition of we) then proceed to get trash bags and a shovel to dispose of dead kitty. My husband asks, "what do we do with it?" and I say, "put it in the trash barrel. Garbage is picked up Friday, it'll be fine until then." So ends the saga of the dead cat (or so we thought).

I need new tires for my car and I want to get new rims also, I've hated my rims since I got the car. A friend of ours had some tires and rims that he was getting rid of and said we could have them for cheap. So yesterday hubby had picked the tires up and brought them home. After the kitty episode we decided to slap those puppies on my car.

So here we are playing pit crew. Me loosening the lugnuts, hubby putting the new tire on and tightening them. We put the front one on first to check clearance - fit good. We then put the same side rear one on. I then tried to move my car only to discover there was not enough clearance in the front rim to allow my brake caliper to release. My brakes were jammed on.

Okay, we remove the front tire and put the old on back on. Hubby suggests that I put the new tires on the back and have the other new ones swapped onto my rims. Okay, good idea, put the other rear tire on.

The whole time we are doing this we are right near the trash can and plastic bag or not, you could smell the cat.

We decide to take the car for a test drive just to make sure the rear wheels are okay. As we are leaving I tell hubby to grab the dead cat. He jumps into the passenger seat with the plastic bag with the cat hanging out the window.

We live in the backroads where there are lots of flower farms, and ranches, and no one is hardly ever on the roads. Last night everyone was out. Driving around, standing on the driveways, talking to neighbors. It was crazy.

I finally find an area where no one is around and we chuck the kitty. I know, I know , this is wrong on so many levels but living with a decomposing animal is too.

We get home and innocently enough think we are done. We clean up and start dinner. I comment on how the rear tires stick out from my truck and isn't it cool. Hubby says, "Yeah, they are wide tires" Ummmm.....okay....wait...... If they are that much wider they won't fit on my rims. I race outside and measure and sure enough the tires are 2" wider than my rims. Okay, there will be no swapping them out. Now what???
We decide, it's late, we'll figure out what to do about this tomorrow.

As we are eating dinner it hits us both at the same time. We have to remove the rear tires tonight or sure as god made little green apples, something would happen tomorrow to wreck a tire and we'd be stuck with 3 tires and wheels we couldn't use.

After dinner it was back to the carport to remove the back tires and replace the original ones.

We ended up removing and remounting 6 tires last night. My car only has 4 wheels. What an insane night.

So let's recap: 1 dead kitty - gone.
6 tires dis & remounted.
0 new tires on truck

Such is my life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Eeewwwww! Awful. Poor kitty and a crazy life for you.


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