28 September 2006

I battle a lot of demons.

As I'm sure many people do but these are mine and therefore more important to me :)

One of my battles is my weight. I have no control in the face of pastry; cookies, cakes, pies, muffins, you name it I literally can't say no to it. This is something I have been struggling with for easily 10 years. Sometime the battle goes well other times, eh, not so much..... However, I feel like I'm making huge progress in the pastry wars.

One of my strategies is to bring my food with me. I bring breakfast and lunch to work everyday. I have found that if I stop at the store on the way to work I have zero willpower and will buy the pastries. Many times I'll buy 2. I will then eat them and pretty much feel like crap for the rest of the day. I'm also a secret eater. I'll eat these things in the car so no one sees me eat. Oh, this is not a pretty picture!!!

As this is a long standing battle I'm constantly looking for ways to win. The other day I made a huge discovery that I think may be the beginning of the end of the pastry wars.

Generally my morning goes like this; get up, get coffee, get smoothie (fat free yogurt, oj, fruit), workout, get ready for work, piece of fruit if hungry, drive to work, eat breakfast.

Well, Tuesday while I was rescuing the dog my schedule got all screwed up. On the way to the Humane Society I started to get hungry and I could feel my blood sugar dropping, my mind turned to pastry. I started spotting all kinds of places I could stop and get a muffin. Since that wasn't practical, I reached into my lunch bag and grabbed a piece of fruit.

After dropping the dog off I realized I was very tired and wanted another cup of coffee. I stopped at 7-11 to get one and ended up buying a pastry. I realize this does not sound like a success but what I realized when I got to work was that I didn't want the pastry. I purchased it mostly out of habit. It was then it dawned on me that the real reason I purchase those pastries is because my blood sugar is low.

I always stop on mornings when my schedule is not followed resulting in a blood sugar drop on my way to work and a serious pastry craving. This was a huge light bulb. It generally happens when I don't have the necessary food in the house and need to stop at the store on the way to work.

That brings us to this morning. I had nothing for lunch at home and decided to stop at the store. Immediately my mind turned to pastry. But, in a stroke of brilliance, I grabbed a banana on my way out the door, then put all thoughts of donuts, muffins, out of my head. I decided exactly what I wanted and headed straight for them. I actually left the store without pastry. This is such a huge success you have no idea!!! I have now made a chink in the armor that is pastry. Now that I've struck the first blow I will be able to defeat it. It won't be easy and it won't be fast but it will happen. To the victor go the spoils, in this case more energy, better body, and better health.

So today was a rest day. I have the hardest time taking rest days and I forced myself to today. Last night I ran and it was a really good run. I felt like I was flying, of course, it turns out I wasn't but it felt like I was. So today is rest and a non-pastry day.

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