09 March 2007

Not so successful today.

I have not been sleeping well. I go through these periods and it really sucks. I must have woke up 10 times last night. I was too hot, too cold, there was noise outside, the dog was moving, blah, blah, blah....... What I do know is that is pisses me off and I can't get up to exercise.

So the alarm went off this morning and I just could not get up. I decided to take another day off and concentrate on trying to get a couple of really good night's sleep this weekend. Let's hope.

Yesterday was International Women's Day and I read a couple of posts that got me thinking. One post in particular mentioned the word feminist a number of times. When I hear the word feminist the hair on the back of my neck stands up and I get all defensive. Not that I don't believe in feminism. My mother taught me to be independent, self sufficient, and not to rely on any one let alone a man, long before the word feminist was coined.

As I was growing I watched my mother and learned. My parents had 7 kids and a couple of times my father left and my mother had to fend for herself. In my father's defense, he left to try and make some better opportunities for his family and he always returned. But my mom did what needed to be done. No fanfare, no whining, no patting herself on the back. She just did it. That's what I learned. That's how I learned to be a "feminist"

When I entered the workforce feminism was peaking. Women were getting jobs they'd never done before and becoming bosses. My first boss was the first woman supervisor at Prudential Insurance. I was not dumb, I knew the attitudes some people had about women in the workplace and, as I learned from my mother, I had to get in there and do it better than any man. That's how I lived my life.

I used to get so angry at these feminists who would demand equality yet at the same time want the rules changed to accommodate them. I could never understand that. Up until then it had been a man's world. If you want to change that you need to go in there and play their game better then them. That's how I viewed it. You can not walk into a workplace and say I want equality but at the same time I want you to change this and this and this. I have always said the best way to change a system is to get inside, work the system, then change it. That's what I would do. I would get a job, do it better than anyone there, and then say if you want me to stay here's what you need to do. I never really worried about equal pay because again, I would outdo anyone there and if they didn't compensate me, I was gone.

I'm not sure I'm making myself clear. I believe in the theory of feminism I just don't like the way they go about it. It's the same with racial equality or any kind of equality. You can not stand there and demand to be treated as an equal and then demand special considerations. It doesn't make sense. If you want to be equal you have to struggle under the same conditions or others will never consider you an equal. They will look at you and think, well they got special treatment......

Having said that I must say I've tried to live my life as an example to my daughter. I've always taken care of myself even when married. I was a working mother although I wish I hadn't been, but that's water under the bridge. I think that's the true point of feminism, choice. Woman should not be trapped into one role or another, neither should men, but have the choice to live their life as they want.

Okay, that's it. I'm off my soapbox.


Ellie Hamilton said...

That's why I like the movie "G.I. Jane" -- not because it's an accurate representation of S.E.A.L. training (I hear it's not) but because it's about the kind of feminism you describe: getting in there, following the layout, being a team player, not asking for special treatment, and not whining. Excellent philosophy.

Anonymous said...

You and I seem to have followed a similar game plan. I didn't set out to break new ground. My goal was always to be the best that I could be. Special considerations not needed; just let me do my job.


  Motivation is not the cause of action, it is the result. You want to be motivated? Get up and go do something. - Mark Manson How many time...