What a long strange trip it's been........

At my WW meeting this morning a lady asked if anyone else had issues with sugar. She went on to say how if she eats a little bit of sugar it sets off something in her and she just can't stop. I've been thinking about that all day.

When I was 225 lbs I was just like that. I would eat a cookie and it would set off a binge that I could not stop. I would eat till my stomach hurt. I would eat till I was absolutely sick but still keep eating. I had the feeling that I had absolutely no control. I would be sick, to my stomach, of myself, of cookies, yet I could not seem to stop.

When I started WW 10 years ago, I would listen to other people say how they had 1 cookie and stopped themselves. I would listen and not understand how come I couldn't do that. I literally would feel like a freak because it seemed all these other people could do something I apparently couldn't do. I would get so frustrated and angry with myself. I thought I had no willpower. I thought I was weak and that I didn't want to lose the weight bad enough. Do you know how that can undermine weight loss. Talk about negative self talk. No wonder I bounced around, up and down, for so long. With those thoughts going through my head I had no chance of succeeding at weight loss.

It all started to change for me when I watched an Oprah show. She had Dr. Oz on and they were talking about various things. One of the topics he brought up was taste buds. He said to take artificial sweetener, dissolve it in water, and drink it. If it tasted bitter to you, your taste buds were normal. If it just tasted sweet to you, you had underdeveloped taste buds. I did that and found I had underdeveloped taste buds. If that's the case no matter how much you eat your are not going to satisfy a craving because your taste buds don't work right. When I learned that it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It really changed things for me. I realized that the binges weren't from lack of willpower or control. It really changed things in my head. I still wanted to binge, but it didn't have the power it had before. I was able to admit that I had no control and I would never satisfy my cravings so why even try. It's true, the first step is admitting you have a problem.

The next thing that happened was I realized I had hypoglycemia. My blood sugar was all over the map. Once I learned this, I learned how to eat to balance my blood sugar. Since then I have never binged. I have even developed the ability to eat some cookies, or a piece of cake and not lose my mind. Because my blood sugar is so balanced 99% of the time, having a little extra sugar doesn't throw things off that much. I now feel like a normal person who has the ability to eat one cookie and walk away.

Looking back I realize how far I've come and how much I've learned along the way. It's truly amazing. I talked to the lady at WW and I hope I helped her a little. It's a long, hard road to lose weight and when you feel like a freak on top of it, it's that much worse. I'm just glad I learned these things about myself and was able to master them.

Comments

Jim said…
"Underdeveloped taste buds?" Maybe so, or maybe the taste sensation somehow gets damaged by the artificial sweeteners.

The wake-up call came for me many years ago, when I would have tea each morning at a cafe, and I would add one packet of aspartame to the tea, Over time, I gradually started adding more aspartame to the tea, without really thinking about it. One morning, I glanced down and noticed that I had put EIGHT packets of aspartame in my tea and it still didn't taste sweet. I knew something was wrong.

That was the last time I used a packet of aspartame, at least if anything else was available. At home, I use packets of stevia or splenda. Unfortunately, I still consume aspartame almost every time I drink a commercial diet drink, because most of those products are made with aspartame.
Michelle said…
Isn't it amazing how knowledge can just shift your whole view? Those flashes of insight that realign things and put us back in the driver's seat. Glad you talked to that woman, I'm sure you helped her a lot.

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