A chain reaction

I'm a firm believer in karma - what goes around, comes around - what you put out, you get back - etc. I've seen it in action in my own life, when I'm positive and doing the things I know are right, good things happen. I'm also a fairly positive person. I tend to try and see the good in all things, because there really is good in all things. But I'm also human, and I can lose sight of these things if I'm not careful. And that's what has happened lately. I've lost sight of the positive and the good karma and all that stuff. Let me explain.

I've been spending a lot of mental time lately dwelling on the things that are wrong with my life. We don't have a lot of money. I can't do this. I can't do that. I don't have whatever. Well, when I think like that, I get down. When I only look at the negatives, what I don't have or can't do, everything starts to become a negative. And that's been happening lately.

This morning I got ready for Crossfit and headed out to my car. It wouldn't start. About a month ago, the mechanic told me my battery was bad. Did I get a new one? NO. So it finally bit the dust. I didn't have enough time to get to Crossfit, so I figured I'd go at 8 am. Then hubby offered to drive me and I figured I could walk home. So that's what happened. He drove me there. I did the WOD. Then I walked home. I have not walked much in months, possibly a year or more. I had forgotten how the rhythmic, repetitive movement creates a calmness in the brain and joy in the spirit. As I was walking I realized that I have not been finding joy in things lately. I have been stressing over all kinds of things, but not finding any joy. I have things I need to take care of that I have been putting off, stress. I have neighbors that are assholes and I don't trust them, stress. I realize that instead of stressing over the situation, situations that I really can't change, I need to find ways to deal with them. For example, as I walked I thought about what this situation with the neighbors is supposed to teach me. Because I believe in karma and positiveness, but I don't believe in coincidence. I believe that things happen for a reason. So I need to figure out what this situation is supposed to teach me, only then will it resolve itself.

So I need to get more of this rhythmic, repetitive movement into my day. I understand now why people do tai chi and qi qong. There is something wonderful and restorative about that type of movement.